Genesis for Skeptics

Genesis has it all: sex, violence, contradictions, insults to women, absurdities, conflicts with science and history, you name it. Well, except for anything good, that is. God declared his creation to be "very good" in 1:31, but I can't find anything good in Genesis.

Be sure to check out:

  • The two contradictory creation stories. 1:1-2:3, 2:4-25
  • God's two magic trees: The tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 2:9
  • "In the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." 2:17
  • God says that if Adam eats from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, then the day that he does so, he will die. But Adam eats the forbidden fruit (3:6) and yet lives for another 930 years (5:5).
  • God's clever, talking serpent. 3:1
  • God's curse of all women. 3:16
  • "Behold, the man is become as one of us." 3:22
    God expels Adam and Eve from the garden before they get a chance to eat from that other tree -- the tree of life. God knows that if they do that, they will live forever. A spooky thought indeed for an insecure god.
  • The mark of Cain. 4:15
  • "And Cain knew his wife."
    That's nice, but where the hell did she come from? 4:17
  • The "sons of God" copulated with the "daughters of men," and had sons who became "the mighty men of old, men of renown." 6:2-4
  • "There were giants in the earth in those days." 6:4
  • Noah, the just and righteous. 6:9, 7:1
  • God drowns everyone on earth (except Noah and his family). 7:4
  • Noah, the drunk and naked. 9:20-21
  • The curse of Canaan. 9:22-25
  • The Tower of Babel. 11:1-9
  • Abraham's first "she's my sister" lie. 12:13
  • Abraham's war to rescue Lot. 14:14-17
  • Lot [the just and righteous (2 Peter 2:7-8)] offers his daughters to a crowd of angel rapers. 19:8
  • "The LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire." 19:24
  • God turns Lot's wife into a pillar of salt. 19:26
  • A drunken Lot impregnates his daughters. 19:30-36
  • Abraham's second "she's my sister" lie. 20:2
  • God closed all the wombs in Abimelech's household to punish him for believing Abraham's lie. 20:18
  • Abraham abandons his first son, Ishmael. 21:10-14
  • God tells Abraham to kill his second son (Isaac) for a burnt offering. 22:2
  • Put your hand under my thigh (testicles) and swear. 24:2, 47:29
  • Isaac uses his dad's "she's my sister" lie. 26:7
  • Jacob goes in unto Leah by mistake. 29.25
  • The great baby making contest. 30:1-23
  • Rachel buys sex with mandrakes. 30:15-16
  • Jacob wrestles with God and wins! 32:24-28
  • Jacob sees God face to face and lives. 32:30
  • The Shechem and Dinah lovestory massacre. 34:1-25
  • Reuben has sex with his father's concubine. 35:22
  • God kills Er for being wicked. 38:7
  • Onan spills his seed; God kills Onan. 38:9-10
  • Judah impregnates his daughter in law. 38:16-18
  • God brought a seven year, "very grievous" famine on the whole earth for no apparent reason (except maybe to make Joseph wealthy). 41:56