God's Post Flood Instructions
And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and
And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the
earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth,
and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.
God blessed Noah and his sons and said,
Have lots of children. 
All the animals will be afraid of you. 
Do whatever you'd like with them. 
Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you
Eat any living thing that moves, along with all the plants. 
But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.
But don't eat anything while it is still alive. And don't eat blood. 
And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of
man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.
If a man or an animal kills a man, the brother of the victim must kill the killer. 
Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he
Whoever kills a man must be killed by a man , because men are made in God's image.
And you, be ye fruitful,
and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.
And have lots of childen. 
And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,
And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you;
And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of
the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of
God said to Noah and his sons,
I am making a promise to you, your descendants, and all of the beasts of the earth.
And I will establish my covenant with you, neither shall all flesh be cut
off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a
flood to destroy the earth.
And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me
and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual
I promise to never again kill every living thing in a flood.
I do set my bow in the cloud, and it
shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.
And here's a token of my promise: I will set a rainbow in the clouds. 
And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the
bow shall be seen in the cloud:
Whenever I make a cloud, there will be a rainbow.
And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every
living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to
destroy all flesh.
And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may
remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of
all flesh that is upon the earth.
And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have
established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth.
When I see it, it will remind me of my promise not to
destroy all living things in a flood.
And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and
Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.
The sons of Noah - Shem, and Ham, and Japheth  - left the ark.
(Ham was Canaan's father.)
These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth
Everyone on earth has descended from Noah's three sons.
Noah, the Drunk and Naked
Cf. Gen 6:9
- Noah, the just and perfect, 7:1
And Noah began to be an husbandman,
and he planted a vineyard:
And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
After Noah sacrificed the clean animals for God, he planted a vineyard, made wine, got drunk, and lay naked in his tent.
And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren
Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, Noah, and told his brothers about it.
And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their
shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces
were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
Ham's brothers, Shem and Japheth, took a garment and covered their naked father, walking backwards and not looking
at his nakedness.
And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what
his younger son had done unto him.
When Noah sobered up, he (somehow) knew what his younger son (Ham?) had done to him. 
And he said, Cursed be Canaan;
a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
And Noah said,
Cursed by Canaan. He will be a slave of slaves to his brothers. 
And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his
And blessed be the God of Shem. Canaan shall be his slave.
God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and
Canaan shall be his servant.
God will enlarge Japheth, who will live in Shem's tents, and Canaan will be his slave.
And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
And all the days of Noah were
nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.
Noah lived 350 years after the flood, and he died when he was 950 years old.
- Be fruitful, and multiply. [v.1]
Although this would have been good advice for the mythical Noah, it is wrong for humankind as a whole.
Overpopulation is one of our greatest problems, yet there is nothing in the bible to address it.
What the Bible says about birth control
- The fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast. [v.2]
According to this verse, all animals fear humans. Although it is true that many do, many do not.
Sharks and grizzly bears, for example, are generally much less afraid of us than we are of them.
- Into your hand are they delivered. [v.2]
God gave the animals to humans, and they can do whatever they please with them.
This verse has been used by bible believers to
justify all kinds of cruelty to animals and environmental destruction.
- 4 Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you. [v.3]
Which animals may we eat?
- The blood thereof, shall ye not eat. [v.4]
Many Jehovah's Witnesses have needlessly died because the governing body
considers blood transfusions to be "eating blood".
Is it OK to eat blood?
- At the hand of every man's brother [v.5]
At least I think this is what God means to say here.
- Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed. [v.6]
Then why did God put a mark on Cain (after he murdered Abel) so that others wouldn't kill him?
Does God approve of capital punishment?
What the Bible says about capital punishment
- Be ye fruitful, and multiply. [v.7]
This is so important to God that he had to say it twice in the same speech, at the begining
and the end.
- I do set my bow in the cloud. [v.13]
God is rightly filled with remorse for having
killed his creatures.
He makes a deal with the animals, promising never to drown
them all again.
He even puts the rainbow in the sky so that whenever he sees it,
it will remind him of his promise so that he won't be tempted to do it again.
(Every time God sees the rainbow he says to himself: "Oh, yeah.... That's right.
I promised not to drown the animals again. I guess I'll have to find something
else to do.").
But rainbows are caused by the nature of light, the
refractive index of water, and the shape of raindrops. There were rainbows
billions of years before humans existed.
- Shem, and Ham, and Japheth [v.18]
Who was Noah's youngest son?
- Noah ... was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. [v.20-21]
The "just and righteous" Noah (6:9,
7:1) plants a vineyard, gets drunk, and lies around naked in his tent.
His son, Ham,
happens to see his father in this condition.
When Noah sobers up and hears "what his young son
had done unto him" (what did he do besides look at him?), he curses not Ham, who "saw the nakedness of his father," but
Ham's son, Canaan. "A servant of servants shall he [Canaan] be unto his brethren."
This is a typical case of biblical justice, and is one of many Bible passages that have been used to justify slavery.
What the Bible says about alcohol
Are we punished for the sins of others?
What the Bible says about nudism
- Noah ... knew what his younger son had done unto him. [v.24]
What did Ham do? Did he just look at his naked father or was there something more to it than that?
Some commentators have suggested that Ham committed homosexual rape on his drunken father, and that this was why
Ham's descendants were eternally punished with slavery.
Strange Flesh: Gay Bible Stories - Noah's drunkenness
Who was Noah's youngest son?
- Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be. [v.25]
Does God approve of slavery?
- Be fruitful and multiply.
- Be fruitful, and multiply. 9:1, 7
- Have dominion over every living thing.
- The fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.
- Be an omnivore.
- Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
- Don't eat blood.
- But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat. 9:4
- Kill whoever kills another person.
- Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man. 9:6
- Dwindling in Unbelief
- Top 50 Bible stories for kids
- Who is the best father in the Bible?
- Happy Birthday Edna
(You're still a youngster by biblical standards) (9:29)
- 101 Bible-based New Year's
- What the Bible says about alcohol (9:20-21)
- Every Jot and Tittle: Genesis (9:1, 2, 4, 6, 7)
- OMGWTFBible: In the Beginning - Chapter 3 - (Genesis 6:5 - 9:3)
- In which God goes kinda crazy. Recorded live at the Parkside Lounge on December 17, 2012. Guest: Jessica Polaniecki
- OMGWTFBible: In the Beginning - Chapter 4 - (Genesis 9:4 - 11:26)
- In which God talks about rainbows and gets mad at some people for building a tower. Recorded live at the Parkside Lounge on January 21, 2013. Guest: Yair Oelbaum
- Real Bible Stories
- Gen. 9-10: Ham Bears The Sins Of His Father
- Homosexual Passages in Genesis
- The Staight Dope
- The Drunkenness of Noah: part 1
- The Drunkenness of Noah: part 2
- Slate Blogs the Bible by David Plotz
- Abraham vs. God
- DmitryGrant.com: Nitpicking Genesis
- DmitryBrant.com: Genesis 9
- The Bible (Annotated)
- Genesis 9. Noah gets drunk, Punishes his grandson.
- Christian Response
The Annotated Skeptic's Annotated Bible
all meat which may be eaten (Genesis 9:1-4)
- Wine unto
those that be of heavy hearts. (9:5-29)
Drunk With Blood: Genesis