Jacob and Rebekah deceive Isaac
1 And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I.
2 And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death:
When Isaac was old and blind, he called for Esau, and said to him,
I'm old and I don't know when I'll die.
3 Now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison;
4 And make me savoury meat, such as I love, and bring it to me, that I may eat; that my soul may bless thee before I die.
Go hunting, so I can eat some savory meat.
After I eat, I'll bless you before I die. 
5 And Rebekah heard when Isaac spake to Esau his son. And Esau went to the field to hunt for venison, and to bring it.
6 And Rebekah spake unto Jacob her son, saying, Behold, I heard thy father speak unto Esau thy brother, saying,
7 Bring me venison, and make me savoury meat, that I may eat, and bless thee before the LORD before my death.
Rebekah overheard their conversation and told Jacob about it.
8 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee.
9 Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth:
10 And thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death.
She said to Jacob,
Go get two goats and I'll cook your father a savory meal.
Then he'll eat and bless you before he dies.
11 And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man:
12 My father peradventure will feel me, and I shall seem to him as a deceiver; and I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing.
Esau is a hairy man and I am smooth. Dad will feel my skin and know it's me, not Esau. Then I'll get a curse, not a blessing.
13 And his mother said unto him, Upon me be thy curse, my son: only obey my voice, and go fetch me them.
Don't worry about that. The cursing will be on me. Just go fetch the goats.
14 And he went, and fetched, and brought them to his mother: and his mother made savoury meat, such as his father loved.
So Jacob did as his mom told him, and his mom fixed a savory meal.
15 And Rebekah took goodly raiment of her eldest son Esau, which were with her in the house, and put them upon Jacob her younger son:
16 And she put the skins of the kids of the goats upon his hands, and upon the smooth of his neck:
Rebekah took some of Esau's clothes and put them on Jacob.
She also put goat skins on his hands and neck.
17 And she gave the savoury meat and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob.
Then she gave the meal to Jacob and sent him to Isaac.
18 And he came unto his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I; who art thou, my son?
19 And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy first born; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.
Jacob lied to his father, saying,
I am Esau your firstborn son.
I have killed and cooked some venison for you.
Now eat, so you can bless me.
20 And Isaac said unto his son, How is it that thou hast found it so quickly, my son? And he said, Because the LORD thy God brought it to me.
Isaac asked Jacob (who he thought was Esau), "How did you find the meat so quickly?
"God brought it to me," Jacob answered.
21 And Isaac said unto Jacob, Come near, I pray thee, that I may feel thee, my son, whether thou be my very son Esau or not.
Isaac, who must have been a bit suspicious, said, "Come near, so I can feel you to see if you are really Esau."
22 And Jacob went near unto Isaac his father; and he felt him, and said, The voice is Jacob's voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.
So Jacob came near so his father could feel him.
Isaac said, "The voice is Jacob's but the hands are Esau's."
23 And he discerned him not, because his hands were hairy, as his brother Esau's hands: so he blessed him.
But the hairy hands fooled him, so he blessed Jacob, thinking it was Esau.
24 And he said, Art thou my very son Esau? And he said, I am.
Isaac wasn't completely convinced that he'd blessed the right son, so he asked, "Are you Esau?"
Jacob lied again, saying, "Yes I am."
25 And he said, Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son's venison, that my soul may bless thee. And he brought it near to him, and he did eat: and he brought him wine and he drank.
26 And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son.
Isaac ate the meal and drank some wine.
Then he asked Jacob to come and kiss him.
27 And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed:
28 Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine:
29 Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee.
When Jacob kissed Isaac, his goat-skin covered hands smelled like Esau. So now he was sure that Jacob was Esau, and he blessed him, saying,
May God give you the dew of heaven, the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine. 
Let people serve you, and your brother and nations bow down to you.
Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be whoever blesses you.
30 And it came to pass, as soon as Isaac had made an end of blessing Jacob, and Jacob was yet scarce gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, that Esau his brother came in from his hunting.
31 And he also had made savoury meat, and brought it unto his father, and said unto his father, Let my father arise, and eat of his son's venison, that thy soul may bless me.
After Isaac was tricked into blessing Jacob, Esau returned from his hunting trip.
He brought a savory meal he'd prepared for his father and asked for his blessing.
32 And Isaac his father said unto him, Who art thou? And he said, I am thy son, thy firstborn Esau.
His confused father asked him, "Who are you?"
Esau answered, "I am Esau, your firstborn."
33 And Isaac trembled very exceedingly, and said, Who? where is he that hath taken venison, and brought it me, and I have eaten of all before thou camest, and have blessed him? yea, and he shall be blessed.
Isaac trembled very exceedingly and said, "Who?"
"Where's the guy that I just blessed and who fed me venison?"
34 And when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry, and said unto his father, Bless me, even me also, O my father.
Esau, with an exceedingly bitter cry, said,
Bless me too, father!
35 And he said, Thy brother came with subtilty, and hath taken away thy blessing.
Isaac gave Esau the bad news:
Your brother stole your blessing.
36 And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me?
37 And Isaac answered and said unto Esau, Behold, I have made him thy lord, and all his brethren have I given to him for servants; and with corn and wine have I sustained him: and what shall I do now unto thee, my son?
Yeah, it's too late.
My blessing made Jacob your lord and master.
He gets all the wine and corn. There's nothing left to give you.
38 And Esau said unto his father, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, even me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice, and wept.
Esau wept and said,
So you only have one blessing?
Come on, bless me my father!
39 And Isaac his father answered and said unto him, Behold, thy dwelling shall be the fatness of the earth, and of the dew of heaven from above;
40 And by thy sword shalt thou live, and shalt serve thy brother; and it shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion, that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck.
Isaac gave him more of a prediction than a blessing:
You'll live off the fatness of the earth and the dew from heaven.
You'll live by the sword and serve your brother Jacob.
And someday you will be free of him.
41 And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.
Esau hated Jacob for stealing his blessing.
He vowed to kill him after Isaac's death.
42 And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee.
Rebekah told Jacob about Esau's threat, saying,
Esau wants to kill you.
43 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to Haran;
So go to my brother's place in Haran.
44 And tarry with him a few days, until thy brother's fury turn away;
45 Until thy brother's anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should I be deprived also of you both in one day?
I'll let you know when it's safe to come back.
46 And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?
Rebekah told Isaac she was weary of living with the daughters of Heth (Hittite women). She says her life will be worthless if Jacob marries one of them.