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Posted: Thursday 26 August 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Frank Schaeffer has a great idea
[T]he best thing a believer in any actual God can do is to admit that a lot of the Bible is hate-filled blasphemy. (Maybe God Rejects the Bible)
What Frank Schaeffer says here is obvious to any believer who has taken the time to read the Bible. Unf ...
Posted: Friday 20 August 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 11: A spirit shows Nephi all the shit his dad saw
Since It's been a while since I've blogged the BOM, I suppose I'd better review what's happened so far in 1 Nephi.
Chapter 1: God tells Lehi and his family to get the hell out of Jerusalem.
Chapter 2: So they travel to Arabia on the shore of the ...
Posted: Wednesday 18 August 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Blogging the Quran
1: The Opening
The Lord of the Worlds
2: The Cow
1-13: Allah is wise, mysterious, funny
14-24: Produce a surah the like thereof
25-34: Believers get pure companions in heaven, Adam learns the animals' names, and Iblis becomes a disbeliever
35 ...
Posted: Monday 16 August 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2:139-158 -- Changing holy directions (qiblah)
One of the peculiar things about Muslims is that they have to pray in a particular direction: toward the Kaaba in Mecca. It is also the direction that the faces of dead Muslims point towards, and the direction that the head of an animal is supposed ...
Posted: Monday 02 August 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 10: Lehi proves Jesus wrong by becoming the greatest prophet ever
Jesus said that John the Baptist was the greatest prophet who had ever lived.
For I say unto you, Among those that are born of women there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist: but he that is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he ...
Posted: Friday 30 July 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2:106-138: Abrogation, proof, and Allah's coloring book
The section begins with a verse that contradicts itself.
Nothing of our revelation (even a single verse) do we abrogate or cause be forgotten, but we bring (in place) one better or the like thereof. 2:106
Nothing in the Quran, not a singe verse, ...
Posted: Wednesday 21 July 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 9: Nephi names his plates
Lucky for us, Nephi left out a lot of shit his dad said while camping out in the valley of Lemuel.
And all these things did my father see, and hear, and speak, as he dwelt in a tent, in the valley of Lemuel. 1 Nephi 9:1a
He just didn't have room ...
Posted: Saturday 17 July 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 8: Lehi's magic happy-fruit tree
After Nephi and his brothers got back from their women-hunting mission to Jerusalem, it came to pass that Lehi had another dream -- that is he dreamed a dream; or, in other words, he had seen a vision.
And it came to pass that while my father tar ...
Posted: Friday 16 July 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2:75-105 -- Little is that which they believe
Now here is something I can agree with Allah on!
Little is that which they believe. 2:88b
There is little in the Quran that I believe. Actually nothing. It's all complete bullshit to me.
And because I disbelieve in his bullshit, Allah has cursed ...
Posted: Tuesday 06 July 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Bryan Fischer: May each of us be a Phinehas in our own world
Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association says that each of us should be a Phinehas in own world.
Now that won't mean much to you, unless you've read the story in Numbers 25.
And, behold, one of the children of Israel came and brought unto ...
Posted: Tuesday 06 July 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 7: Oh Fetch! We forgot the fricken women!
Remember how Nephi and his brothers had to return to Jerusalem to get the brass plates? Well, now they have go back again to get some women. Otherwise they'd have to have sex with their mom in order to populate the New World, and that's just too yuc ...
Posted: Thursday 01 July 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 6: It mattereth not to me that I am particular
In the last chapter, Lehi's family spoke in a certain manner of language. In this chapter, Nephi says nothing at all.
He's not going to say anything about Lehi's genealogy.
And now I, Nephi, do not give the genealogy of my fathers in this part of ...
Posted: Tuesday 29 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2: 35-74 -- Allah turns Jews into apes and solves a murder mystery with a dead yellow cow
Last time we learned that Iblis (pbuh) became the first disbeliever by refusing to worship Adam.
We said unto the angels: Prostrate yourselves before Adam, they fell prostrate, all save Iblis. 2:34
From that quote, I got the impression that Iblis ...
Posted: Thursday 24 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 5: After this manner of language did they speak
In this chapter, Nephi and his brothers, along with Laban's servant Zoram, return to the wilderness from Jerusalem.
And it came to pass that after we had come down into the wilderness unto our father. 1 Nephi 5:1a
I guess the 400+ kilometer trip ...
Posted: Wednesday 23 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2: 25-34 -- Believers get pure companions in heaven, Adam learns the animals' names, and Iblis becomes a disbeliever
Yep, all that in just ten verses.
Here's a summary.
If you believe and do good works, you will have pure companions in heaven.
And give glad tidings (O Muhammad) unto those who believe and do good works ... for them are pure companions. 2:25
A ...
Posted: Tuesday 22 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Neph 4: Better for one man to die than a whole nation dwindle in unbelief
Chapter 3 ended with an angel telling Nephi's brothers to stop beating Nephi and Sam with a rod.
And it came to pass as they smote us with a rod, behold, an angel of the Lord came and stood before them, and he spake unto them, saying: Why do ye smi ...
Posted: Monday 21 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2: 14- 24 -- Produce a surah the like thereof
OK, where were we?
When you're reading the Quran, it's hard to remember where you are because it says the same damned thing over and over again. So if you're reading along with me, you're going to need a bookmark.
If you remember last time, Allah ...
Posted: Thursday 17 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 3: Oh my heck! We forgot the brass plates!
When we last left Lehi and his family, they were camping out on the shore of the Red Sea next to the River Laman. The Lord had just visited Nephi and told him about his plan to lead Nephi to a new land that the Lord had prepared just for him, "a lan ...
Posted: Wednesday 16 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2: The Cow, Part 1 -- Allah is wise, mysterious, funny
Surah 2 is the longest surah in the Quran, so it's going to take a while to get through it. I can only take so much of this stuff at a time.
It starts, as many surahs do, with three Arabic letters.
Alif. Lam. Mim. 2:1
No one knows what they mean ...
Posted: Saturday 12 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 2: The incredible journey begins
God speaks to Lehi in a dream and tells him to leave Jerusalem and go "into the wilderness."
The Lord spake unto
my father, yea, even in a dream ... and ... the Lord commanded my father, even in a dream, that he should take his family and depart ...
Posted: Friday 11 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 1: The Opening -- The Lord of the Worlds
OK, since KafirGirl is no longer doing it, I guess I have to.
A couple years ago, KafirGirl started to blog the Quran. And she did an absolutely fantastic job, too. I linked to all of her posts, revising the SAQ as she went along. Then, early last ...
Posted: Wednesday 09 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 1: And it came to pass exceedingly
As you may have noticed, I've been neglecting the Quran and the Book of Mormon lately. And I feel bad about that. So I've decided to blog my way through both god-awful books, revising the SAQ and SABoM as I go along. So if you see things that I've m ...
Posted: Tuesday 01 June 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Blogging the Book of Mormon
First Nephi
1: And it came to pass exceedingly 2: The incredible journey begins 3: Oh my heck! We forgot the brass plates! 4: Better for one man to die than a whole nation dwindle in unbelief 5: After this manner of language did they speak 6: It m ...
Posted: Monday 24 May 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Drunk With Blood: It's one of God's favorite expressions
I titled my list of God's killings "Drunk with Blood" for a reason. I think the phrase describes the God of the Bible perfectly.
It's also one of God's favorite expressions. The phrase "drunk with blood" (or variants of it) is used five times in t ...
Posted: Friday 21 May 2010 ( 14 years ago )
How many more will God kill?
(Revised to include new totals and more extensive analysis.)
In a previous post, I tried to count the number of people killed by God in the Bible. I came up with 2,476,633, if God's many unnumbered killings, such as Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah ...
Posted: Thursday 13 May 2010 ( 14 years ago )
The sword of the Lord is filled with blood
Okay, I don't know how that's possible. How can a sword be filled with blood?
But maybe it's just a metaphor. Maybe God doesn't even have a sword, and non-existent swords are rarely filled with blood. To find out, let's look at the context. Contex ...
Posted: Wednesday 12 May 2010 ( 14 years ago )
What do God, his victims, the animals that eat their dead bodies, and the Great Whore of Babylon all have in common?
They were, are, or will forever be drunk with blood.
The phrase “drunk with blood” (or variants of it) is used five times in the Bible. Let's take a look at them.
First of all, God used it to describe himself: his arrows are drunk with blood.
...
Posted: Monday 03 May 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Are you ready for the rapture?
Here's a simple test to see if you are rapture-ready.
Do you hate your life?
The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 12:25
Do you hate your family?
If any man ...
Posted: Sunday 02 May 2010 ( 14 years ago )
What to do with an unfaithful wife: The Bible vs. the Quran
Both holy books have specific instructions for a husband that suspects his wife has been unfaithful. Since over half of the world believes in one or the other, I thought it would be good to compare them here.
The Bible's instructions are in Numbers ...
Posted: Saturday 01 May 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Thus did David unto all the children of Ammon
I’m not sure what “thus” was, but it whatever it was, it wasn’t very nice. First David sent Joab “and all Israel,” and “they destroyed the children of Ammon” and besieged the city of Rabbah.
And it came to pass, after the year was e ...
Posted: Friday 30 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
David killed every male in Edom
There’s not a lot to go on here, just a few contradictory verses from four different books. There’s a one-verse story from 2 Samuel saying that David got a name for himself by killing 18,000 Syrians in the valley of salt.
David gat him a name w ...
Posted: Thursday 29 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Bible Quiz Show
The 700 / 7000 horsemen thing in my last post reminded me of this fun NonStampCollector video.
Here are links to the contradictions mentioned in the video.
How long does God's anger last?
Does Yahweh tempt people?
Is salvation by faith alone ...
Posted: Wednesday 28 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
The Lord gave David victory wherever he went
As I mentioned in the last killing, God approved all of David’s killings (except for the matter of Uriah).
David did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, and turned not aside from any thing that he commanded him all the days of his life, ...
Posted: Wednesday 28 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
David killed Rechab and Baanah, cut off their hands and feet, and hung their bodies over the pool
After Saul’s death, David became king of Judah and Saul’s son, Ishbosheth, king of Israel. Things didn’t go well for poor Ishbosheth, though. First his father and brothers were killed by God. Then his captain, Abner, was killed by David’s ca ...
Posted: Tuesday 27 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Abraham's war to rescue Lot
Here's one that I forgot to add to God's list.
It's about two of God's favorite people: Abraham and Lot.
God gave Abraham (God called him "Abram" back then) pretty much everything on earth, as far as he could see.
The LORD said unto Abram ...
Posted: Thursday 22 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
David killed two-thirds of the Moabite POWs and enslaved the rest
How should we treat prisoners of war? Fortunately, as with so many difficult questions, the Bible has the answer! Bible believers don't need to worry about the Geneva Convention. God tells them directly what to do with their POWs in the Bible. All t ...
Posted: Tuesday 20 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
The Morality of David: How to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord
If believers want to know what God thinks is right, they should look at the life of David. He is the gold standard of biblical morality.
How do we know that that? Because it says so in the Bible.
Everything David did "was right in the eyes of the ...
Posted: Saturday 10 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Ahaziah (of Judah)
It's hard to keep track of Bible characters. They often have the same name, live at the same time, do pretty much the same things (are evil in the sight of the Lord), and have the same fate (God usually kills them). It will drive you nuts if you're ...
Posted: Wednesday 07 April 2010 ( 14 years ago )
42,000 killed for failing the "Shibboleth" test
After Jephthah finished killing and burning his daughter for God (51) to pay God back for helping him slaughter twenty Ammonite cities (50), he ran into some Ephraimites who were angry about being left out of the Ammonite slaughter.
The men of Ephr ...
Posted: Tuesday 30 March 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Jesus
You’ve heard this one before: God killed his son in order to stop himself from torturing people forever after they die for something that someone else supposedly did thousands of years before they were born.
The story is known too well already. ...
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