The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. 28:27
The Bible in Fewer Words - Deuteronomy (8)
Injustice (112)
Cruelty & Violence (93)
Intolerance (77)
Absurdity (76)
Contradictions (65)
Family Values (25)
Good Stuff (19)
Science (19)
Women (18)
Sex (16)
Interpretation (14)
Prophecy and Misquotes (7)
Language (5)
Boring stuff (3)
Homosexuality (3)
Politics (3)
EJAT (198)
The Fifth Book of Moses, called Deuteronomy
1 Moses's speech (Part 1) (1-45)
2 Moses's speech (Part 2) (1-37)
3 Moses's speech (Part 3) (1-29)
4 Moses's speech (Part 4) (1-40)
Cities of refuge (41-49)
5 The Ten (?) Commandments (1-21)
The people hear the voice of God (and say they'll die if they hear it again) (22-33)
6 Commandments, statutes, and judgments (1-25)
7 How to commit genocide (1-26)
8 Remember the Exodus and obey the commandments (1-20)
9 God will destroy the giants (the Anakim) (1-6)
Remember all the times when God wanted to kill everyone (But Moses talked him out of it) (7-29)
10 A new set of tablets (1-22)
11 Remember God's killings (1-6)
Obey the commandments (7-32)
12 Religious intolerance, animal sacrifice, blood, and abominations (1-32)
13 Kill dreamers and prophets whose signs and wonders come true (1-5)
Kill your family and friends if they try to change your religious beliefs (6-11)
If a city has people who believe in other gods, kill everyone in that city (12-18)
14 The Israelites are God's favorite people (1-2)
What you may and may not eat (3-21)
Tithes (22-29)
Lend money to the poor (7-11)
Rules for slave owners (12-18.)
Rules for sacrificing first-born males (13-23)
16 Three feasts: Abib, Weeks, and Tabernacles (1-17)
Judges and officers (18-20)
Groves and images (21-22)
17 Blemished animal sacrifices are abominations to God (1)
Stone to death anyone who worships another god (2-7)
Stone to death anyone who will not listen to a priest or judge (8-13)
The king is chosen by God (and must not be a foreigner) (14-20)
Wizards, witches, and astrologers are abominations to God (9-14)
A prophet like Moses (15-19)
Kill false prophets (20-22)
The avenger of blood (11-13)
Landmarks and witnesses (14-19)
An eye for an eye (your eye shall not pity them) (11-13)
21 What to do with a dead body (1-9)
What to do with women captured in a holy war (10-14)
What to do if you have two wives (One that you love and one that you hate) (15-17)
What to do with a disobedient son (18-21)
How to hang people on trees (22-23)
Clothing, roofs, and plowing (5-12)
Non-virgin brides must be stoned to death (13-21)
Rape (married or virgin, city or country) (22-29)
Don't take your father's wife or discover his skirt (30)
23 The congregation of the Lord (1-8)
Personal hygiene: Wet dreams and defecation (9-14)
Runaway slaves (15-16)
Whores and Sodomites (17-18)
Vows and usury (19-25)
Assorted laws (5-22)
25 Legal disputes (and muzzled oxen) (1-4)
A man must marry his dead brother's wife (or she will spit in his face) (5-10)
When to cut off a woman's hand (without pity) (11-12)
Be honest in business (13-16)
Remember to kill Amalekites (17-19)
26 Give your first fruits to God (1-11)
Say a few words to God (12-19)
27 The entire law is written on plastered stones (1-10)
Twelve curses from Mount Ebal (11-26)
28 Blessings for obeying God (1-14)
Curses for disobeying God (15-68)
29 Moses gives another speech: Part 1 (1-29)
30 Another Speech: part 2 (1-20)
31 Moses's speech: Part 3 (1-8)
Moses writes and delivers the law (9-14)
God appears and teaches Moses a song (15-21)
Moses writes down God's song (22-30)
32 Moses sings God's Drunk With Blood song (1-47)
God tells Moses to climb Mount Nebo and die (48-52)
