Deuteronomy: Family Values
- At God's instructions, the Israelites "utterly destroyed the men, women, and the little ones" leaving "none to
- The Israelites, with God's help, kill all the men, women, and children of every
- "And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city."
- If your brother, son, daughter, wife, or friend tries to get you to worship another god, "thou shalt surely kill him,
thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death." 13:6-10
- In the cities that god "delivers into thine hands" you must kill all the males (including old men, boys, and babies) with
"the edge of the sword .... But the women ... shalt thou take unto yourself." 20:13
- "But of the cities ... which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that
breatheth." Kill the old men and women, the sick and the dying, the blind and the lame, pregnant mothers, nursing mothers,
infants, toddlers, and babies. 20:16
- If you see a pretty woman among the captives and would like her for a wife, then just bring her home and "go in
unto her." Later, if you decide you don't like her, you can "let her go." 21:11-14
- Rules for those who have two wives: "one beloved, and another hated."
- How to treat your hated children. 21:15-17
- If you have a "stubborn and rebellious son," then you and the other men in your neighborhood "shall stone him
with stones that he die." 21:18-21
- If a man marries, then decides that he hates his wife, he can claim she wasn't a virgin when they were married. If
her father can't produce the "tokens of her virginity" (bloody sheets), then the woman is to be stoned to death at her father's
- If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to
- If a man rapes an unbetrothed virgin, he must pay her father 50 shekels of silver and then marry her.
- God won't let bastards attend church. Neither can the sons or daughters of bastards "even to the tenth generation."
So if you plan to attend church next Sunday be ready to prove that your genitals are intact and don't forget your birth
certificate and genealogical records for at least the last ten generations. Don't laugh. This stuff is important to God.
- If two men fight and the wife of one grabs the "secrets" of the other, "then thou shalt cut off her hand" and "thine eye
shall not pity her." 25:11-12
- "Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body." 28:18
- "Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her." 28:30
- "Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people." 28:32
- "Thou shalt begat sons and daughters, but thou shall not enjoy them; for they shall go into
- "All these curses shall come upon thee ... and upon thy seed for ever." 28:45
- "And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters."
- "So that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his
bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave: So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his
children whom he shall eat." 28:54-55
- "The tender and delicate woman" will be forced to eat her own children "that cometh out from between her
- When God gets mad -- watch out! He'll starve you to death, burn you with fire, and send vicious beasts to
devour you. He'll "destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs." Not even the
helpless and innocent are spared by this psychotic God. 32:21-26
- "The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs."