Trivia:

The yeast of the Pharisees
(and there will be no secrets)
12:1-3, Cf. Mt 16:5-12, Mk 8:14-15

1 In the mean time, when there were gathered together an innumerable multitude of people, insomuch that they trode one upon another, he began to say unto his disciples first of all, Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.

A large crowd gathered, while Jesus said to his disciples:

Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees. They are hypocrites.

2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.

Whatever you hide will be exposed.

3 Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.

What you say in private will be shouted from the housetops.

Whom you should fear
(the one who can send you to hell)
12:4-7, Cf. Mt 10:28-31

4 And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do.

Don't be afraid of those who can kill you,

but can't hurt you after you're dead.

5 But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

Fear him who can send you to hell after he kills you. [1]

6 Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God?

Aren't five sparrows sold for two farthings?

7 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

The hairs on your head are numbered.

And you're worth more than many sparrows.

If you deny Jesus, he'll deny you (fair is fair)
12:8-9, Cf. Mt 10:32-33

8 Also I say unto you, Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of God:

If you confess me in front of people, I'll confess you in front of God's angels.

9 But he that denieth me before men shall be denied before the angels of God.

But if you deny me in front of people, I'll deny you in front of God's angels.

The unforgivable sin
(blasphemy against the Holy Ghost)
12:10, Cf. Mt 12:31-32, Mk 3:29

10 And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.

Whoever says something bad about the Son of man will be forgiven.

But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Ghost will never be forgiven. [2]

The Holy Ghost will tell you what to say
12:11-15

11 And when they bring you unto the synagogues, and unto magistrates, and powers, take ye no thought how or what thing ye shall answer, or what ye shall say:

When you're brought before the authorities, don't worry about what to say.

12 For the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say.

13 And one of the company said unto him, Master, speak to my brother, that he divide the inheritance with me.

14 And he said unto him, Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you?

15 And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

The Holy Ghost will tell you what to say.

The death of a rich man
12:16-21

16 And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:

Jesus told them this parable:

A rich man had a large harvest.

17 And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?

He said to himself,

What will I do with my harvest?

18 And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.

I know, I'll tear down my barns and build a bigger barn to store my fruit and goods.

19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.

I'll say to myself,

Self, you have enough stuff for years.

So eat, drink, and be merry.

20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?

21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

But God said to him,

You fool, you're going to die tonight.

So who's going to get your stuff?

Don't worry about food, health, or clothes
12:22-34, Cf. Mt 6:24-34

22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.

23 The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.

So don't worry about food, health, or clothes.

24 Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?

25 And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?

26 If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?

Consider the ravens. They don't sow, reap, or have barns.

God feeds them, and you're better than birds.

27 Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Consider the lilies.

They don't work or spin,

but Solomon wasn't dressed as well as one of these.

28 If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?

God clothes the grass, which is burned tomorrow.

He'll clothe you too, oh you of little faith.

29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

Don't worry about what to eat or drink.

30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.

God knows you need these things.

31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Seek the kingdom of God, and everything else will be given to you.

32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

Don't worry. God's going to give you the kingdom.

Treasures in heaven
12:33-34, Cf. Mt 6:31-33

33 Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.

34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

So sell what you have and give the money to the poor.

The Son of man will come when you least expect it
(and he'll cut you into little pieces)
12:35-48, Cf. Mt 24:42-51, Mk 13:33-37

35 Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning;

36 And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.

37 Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them.

38 And if he shall come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants.

39 And this know, that if the goodman of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched, and not have suffered his house to be broken through.

Gird your loins and light your lamps.

40 Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.

41 Then Peter said unto him, Lord, speakest thou this parable unto us, or even to all?

42 And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season?

43 Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.

44 Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath.

45 But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken;

Because the son of Man will come when you don't expect it.

46 The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers.

And if he comes when you aren't prepared,

he'll cut you into pieces, along with the unbelievers. [3]

47 And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.

That unprepared servant will be beaten with many stripes.

48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

Much is expected from those to whom much has been given. [4]

Jesus came to divide families
(not to bring peace on earth)
12:49-57, Cf. Mt 10:34-36

49 I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?

50 But I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how am I straitened till it be accomplished!

I have come to set fire on the earth.

51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:

Did you think I came to give peace on earth?

No, I've come to cause division.

52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.

From now on, every family will be divided,

three against two, and two against three. [6]

53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

Fathers will be divided against sons, sons against fathers.

Mothers against daughters, daughters against mothers.

The mother-in-law against the daughter-in-law, etc.

Jesus's forecast: rain, heat, and the end of the world
12:54-55

54 And he said also to the people, When ye see a cloud rise out of the west, straightway ye say, There cometh a shower; and so it is.

When you see a cloud rise in the west, you say it will rain. And it does.

55 And when ye see the south wind blow, ye say, There will be heat; and it cometh to pass.

When a south wind blows, you say it will be hot. And it's soon hot.

56 Ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky and of the earth; but how is it that ye do not discern this time?

57 Yea, and why even of yourselves judge ye not what is right?

You hypocrites!

You can predict the weather,

why can't you predict the end of the world?

Some legal advice
12:58-59, Cf. Mt 5:25-26

58 When thou goest with thine adversary to the magistrate, as thou art in the way, give diligence that thou mayest be delivered from him; lest he hale thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and the officer cast thee into prison.

Resolve your legal disputes out of court.

59 I tell thee, thou shalt not depart thence, till thou hast paid the very last mite.

If you don't, you'll have to pay every penny.