1 Now the feast of unleavened bread drew nigh, which is called the Passover.
1 Now the feast of unleavened bread drew nigh, which is called the Passover.
As the feast of Passover approached,
2 And the chief priests and scribes sought how they might kill him; for they feared the people.
the chief priests and scribes plotted to kill Jesus.
3Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve.
Then Satan entered Judas. 
4 And he went his way, and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him unto them.
5 And they were glad, and covenanted to give him money.
6 And he promised, and sought opportunity to betray him unto them in the absence of the multitude.
Judas met with the chief priests,
received money from them,
and planned his betrayal.
7Then came the day of unleavened bread, when the passover must be killed.
On the day of unleavened bread,
when the passover lamb is killed,
8 And he sent Peter and John, saying, Go and prepare us the passover, that we may eat.
9 And they said unto him, Where wilt thou that we prepare?
Jesus said to Peter and John,
Go prepare the passover meal.
They said, "Where?"
10 And he said unto them, Behold, when ye are entered into the city, there shall a man meet you, bearing a pitcher of water; follow him into the house where he entereth in.
11 And ye shall say unto the goodman of the house, The Master saith unto thee, Where is the guestchamber, where I shall eat the passover with my disciples?
Go into the city where you'll find a man with a pitcher of water. Follow him to the house that he enters.
Say to its owner,
The Master says,Where will I eat the passover with my disciples?
12 And he shall shew you a large upper room furnished: there make ready.
He'll show you a large furnished room. We'll eat there.
13 And they went, and found as he had said unto them: and they made ready the passover.
So they did that and prepared the passover meal.
14 And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him.
When the time came for the Passover meal,
Jesus sat down with his twelve apostles,
15 And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer:
I want to eat this passover meal before I suffer.
16 For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God.
This will be my last meal.
17 And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it among yourselves:
He took the cup, gave thanks, and said,
Take this and divide it among yourselves.
18 For I say unto you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine, until the kingdom of God shall come.
I won't drink wine anymore until the kingdom of God comes.
19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.
He took the bread, gave thanks, gave it to them, and said,
This is my body which is given for you.
20 Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.
After supper, he took the cup and said,
This is the cup of the new testament of my blood, which is shed for you.
21 But, behold, the hand of him that betrayeth me is with me on the table.
My betrayer is here with me at the table.
22 And truly the Son of man goeth, as it was determined: but woe unto that man by whom he is betrayed!
The Son of man is going to die as it was determined,
but woe to the one who betrayed him.
23 And they began to enquire among themselves, which of them it was that should do this thing.
The apostles asked each other which of them had betrayed Jesus.
24 And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest.
25 And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors.
Then they began to argue about which of them was the greatest.
26 But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve.
27 For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, or he that serveth? is not he that sitteth at meat? but I am among you as he that serveth.
28 Ye are they which have continued with me in my temptations.
The greatest among you
is the one who serves others.
29 And I appoint unto you a kingdom, as my Father hath appointed unto me;
30That ye may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
But you'll each be king of your own kingdom,
eating and drinking at my table,
sitting on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 
31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:
Jesus said to Simon,
Satan wants you, so he can sift you like wheat.
32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
But I've prayed that your faith won't fail.
When you're converted, strengthen your brothers.
33 And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.
I'm ready to die with you.
34 And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.
Before the cock crows,
you'll deny that you know me three times. 
35 And he said unto them, When I sent you without purse, and scrip, and shoes, lacked ye any thing? And they said, Nothing.
Jesus said to the apostles,
When I sent you out without a purse, bag, or sandals, did you need anything?
And they said, "Nothing."
36 Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
37 For I say unto you, that this that is written must yet be accomplished in me, And he was reckoned among the transgressors: for the things concerning me have an end.
Well now, take a purse and bag.
And if you don't have a sword,
sell your clothes to buy one. 
38 And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough.
They said, "We have two swords."
Jesus said, "It's enough."
39 And he came out, and went, as he was wont, to the mount of Olives; and his disciples also followed him.
Jesus and his disciples went up the mount of Olives to pray.
40 And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation.
He said to them,
Pray that you don't get tempted.
41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,
He went about a stone's throw away, and began to pray, saying,
42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
Father, if you're willing, take this cup away. 
But let your will, not mine, be done.
43And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.
An angel appeared to strengthen him.
44And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
As he prayed, he was in agony,
with big drops of sweat falling like blood to the ground.
45 And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow,
When he got up from his prayer,
he found his disciples sleeping.
46 And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.
He said to them,
Why are you sleeping?
Wake up and pray or you'll get tempted.
47And while he yet spake, behold a multitude, and he that was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them, and drew near unto Jesus to kiss him.
While Jesus was speaking, a crowd arrived with Judas,
who came up and kissed him. 
48But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss?
Jesus said to Judas,
So you're betraying the Son of man with a kiss?
49 When they which were about him saw what would follow, they said unto him, Lord, shall we smite with the sword?
One of Jesus's disciples said,
Should we smite them with the sword?
50 And one of them smote the servant of the high priest, and cut off his right ear.
And one of them cut off the right ear of the high priest's servant.
51And Jesus answered and said, Suffer ye thus far. And he touched his ear, and healed him.
Jesus said, "Enough of that."
And he healed the servant's ear by touching it. 
52 Then Jesus said unto the chief priests, and captains of the temple, and the elders, which were come to him, Be ye come out, as against a thief, with swords and staves?
Jesus said to his captors,
Did you have to arrest me with swords like I was a thief?
53 When I was daily with you in the temple, ye stretched forth no hands against me: but this is your hour, and the power of darkness.
I was with you every day in the temple.
Why didn't you do it then, instead of at night?
54Then took they him, and led him, and brought him into the high priest's house. And Peter followed afar off.
Then they took Jesus to the high priest's house. 
55 And when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the hall, and were set down together, Peter sat down among them.
Peter followed along, warming himself by the fire outside the house.
56 But a certain maid beheld him as he sat by the fire, and earnestly looked upon him, and said, This man was also with him.
A woman saw him and said,
This man was with him.
57And he denied him, saying, Woman, I know him not.
But Peter said, "I don't know him."
58 And after a little while another saw him, and said, Thou art also of them. And Peter said, Man, I am not.
Then someone else said, "You are one of them."
But Peter denied it, saying, "No, I'm not."
59 And about the space of one hour after another confidently affirmed, saying, Of a truth this fellow also was with him: for he is a Galilaean.
About an hour later, someone else said,
"You were with him. You're a Galilean."
60And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew.
Peter said, "I don't know what you're talking about."
And the cock crowed. 
61 And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.
Jesus looked at Peter, and Peter remembered that Jesus had said, "Before the cock crows, you'll deny me three times."
62 And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.
And Peter wept bitterly.
63 And the men that held Jesus mocked him, and smote him.
The men that held Jesus mocked and hit him.
64 And when they had blindfolded him, they struck him on the face, and asked him, saying, Prophesy, who is it that smote thee?
65 And many other things blasphemously spake they against him.
They blindfolded him, struck him on the face, and said,
Prophesy! Who hit you?
66 And as soon as it was day, the elders of the people and the chief priests and the scribes came together, and led him into their council, saying,
67 Art thou the Christ? tell us. And he said unto them, If I tell you, ye will not believe:
68 And if I also ask you, ye will not answer me, nor let me go.
Then next day, Jesus was led to the council, where he was asked,
Are you the Christ?
If I told you, you wouldn't believe me or let me go.
69 Hereafter shall the Son of man sit on the right hand of the power of God.
But from now on, the Son of man will sit at the right hand of the power of God.
70Then said they all, Art thou then the Son of God? And he said unto them, Ye say that I am.
Then they all said,
Are you the Son of God?
You say that I am. 
71 And they said, What need we any further witness? for we ourselves have heard of his own mouth.
Okay. We don't need to hear any more.
He told us with his own mouth.
Which tribe will Judas judge?
Did Jesus say "before the cock crow" or "before the cock crows twice?"
Jesus previously told his disciples (twice: 9:3, 10:4) not to take anything with them: not purse, bag, or shoes. But now he changes his mind, telling them to take all that stuff -- and a sword, as well. (If you don't have one, sell some clothes to buy one.)
When one of the disciples cuts off the ear of the high priest's slave, Jesus just puts the ear back. No problem.
Did the cock crow before or after Peter's denial?
1. Bart D. Ehrman, Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why, (2005), p.139-144, 164-65