0 Exodus Introduction

Exodus for Skeptics

Exodus shows the quirkiness of God.

Who else would

  • Show off by turning staffs into snakes and sending blood, frogs, lice, flies, and boils to punish people?
  • Kill all the firstborn children (and animals) in a kingdom for something that the king did? [And he only did it (whatever the hell it was) after God hardened his heart 10 times.]
  • Give instructions for buying a slave, selling a daughter, or taking a second wife?
  • Command you to kill witches, heretics, disobedient children, and Sabbath breakers?
  • Punish children for the sins of their parents (unto the third and fourth generations)?
  • Tell you to kill your brother, friend, companion, and neighbor?

Only the God of the Bible does such things. And if you can still believe in him after reading Exodus, then your heart has been sufficiently hardened by him.

Here are some highlights:

  • God teaches Moses some magic tricks. 4:2-9, 7:8-11, 7:17-20
  • He hardens the Pharaoh's heart.  4:21, 7:3, 7:13, 9:12, 10:1, 10:20, 10:27, 11:10, 14:4, 14:8
  • He tries to kill Moses.  4:24-25
  • God's first plague on the Egyptians: Rivers turned to blood. 7:17-22
    (Pharaoh's magicians knew this trick, too.) 
  • Second Plague: Frogs. (Pharaoh's magicians do likewise.)  8:2-7
  • Third Plague: Lice. (Pharaoh's magicians couldn't do this one!)  8:16-18
  • Fourth Plague: Flies.  8:21-24
  • Fifth Plague: God kills the cattle.  9:3
  • Sixth Plague: Boils.  9:9
  • Seventh Plague: Hail.  9:19
  • Eighth Plague: Locusts.  10:5
  • Ninth Plague: Darkness.  10:21
  • Tenth Plague: God kills firstborn children and animals.  12:29-30
  • God drowns the Egyptian army. 14:27-28
  • "The Lord is a man of war."  15:3
  • "Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword." 17:13
  • God punishes the children for the sins of their fathers. 20:5, 34:7
    (unto the third and fourth generations) 
  • Instructions for buying a slave.  21:2
  • Instructions for selling your daughter.  21:7
  • Instructions for taking a second wife.  21:10
  • Children who curse or strike their parents are to be killed.  21:15, 17
  • It's OK to beat a slave as long as he lives a day or two  "for he is his money."  21:20-21
  • Abortion is not a capital crime.  21:22
  • "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."  22:18
  • You must kill those who worship another god.  22:20
  • Sabbath breakers must be killed.  31:14-15, 35:2
  • God tells every man to slay "his brother, companion, neighbor."  32:27
  • "And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made." 32:35
  • God shows Moses his "back parts."  33:23
  • God's name is "Jealous."  34:14

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