Deuteronomy 28

Blessings and Curses

Blessings for obeying God
28:1-14, Cf. Lev 26:1-14

28:1 And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth:

28:2 And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.

(28:1) If you obey God, he'll set you above all nations of the earth.

28:3 Blessed shalt thou be in the city, and blessed shalt thou be in the field.

(28:3) You'll be blessed in the city and in the field.

28:4 Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.

(28:4) Your children, crops, cattle, and sheep will be blessed.

28:5 Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store.

(28:5) Your basket and store will be blessed.

28:6 Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out.

(28:6) You'll be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.

28:7 The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways.

(28:7) God will cause your enemies to be killed right in front of you; they'll attack you one way and retreat seven ways.

28:8 The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

28:9 The LORD shall establish thee an holy people unto himself, as he hath sworn unto thee, if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk in his ways.

(28:8) Your storehouses and everything you do will be blessed.

28:10 And all people of the earth shall see that thou art called by the name of the LORD; and they shall be afraid of thee.

(28:10) Everyone on earth will be afraid of you.

28:11 And the LORD shall make thee plenteous in goods, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of thy cattle, and in the fruit of thy ground, in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers to give thee.

(28:11) God will give you pleny of goods and children. Your cattle will have lots of children and the ground will have lots of fruit.

28:12 The LORD shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thine hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow.

(28:12) God will give you treasure, it will rain when it should, you'll be rich and lend to other nations and will never borrow from anyone.

28:13 And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them:

(28:13) God will make you the head, not the tail, and be above, not below.

28:14 And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.

(28:14) "Thou shalt not ... go after other gods."
How many gods are there?
Curses for disobeying God
28:15-68, Cf. Lev 26:14-39

28:15 But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee:

(28:15-68) All these curses shall come upon thee

If you don't obey all of the laws in the Old Testament, God shower you with the curses that are listed in the next 52 verses.

28:16 Cursed shalt thou be in the city, and cursed shalt thou be in the field.

(28:16) God will curse you in the city; he'll curse in the field.

28:17 Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store.

(28:17) He'll curse your basket and your store.

28:18 Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy land, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.

(28:18) Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body

He'll curse your children, land, and sheep.

28:19 Cursed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and cursed shalt thou be when thou goest out.

(28:19) He'll curse you when you come in and curse you when out go out.

28:20 The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke, in all that thou settest thine hand unto for to do, until thou be destroyed, and until thou perish quickly; because of the wickedness of thy doings, whereby thou hast forsaken me.

(28:20) He'll destroy you with cursing, vexation, and rebuke, utnil you die quickly for you wickedness.

28:21 The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee from off the land, whither thou goest to possess it.

(28:21) He'll consume you with pestilence.

28:22 The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.

(28:22) He'll smite you with consumption, fever, inflamation, and extreme buring; he'll kill you with the sword, blasting, and mildew; he'll pursue you until you're dead.

28:23 And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.

(28:23) The sky will be brass; the earth will be iron.

28:24 The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed.

(28:24) God will make the rain powder and dust, until you a destroyed.

28:25 The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them: and shalt be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth.

(28:25) He'll cause you to be smitten by your enemies. You'll go out against them, and flee seven times before them. You'll be removed from all the kingdoms of the earth.

28:26 And thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray them away.

(28:26) Your carcase will be eaten by birds and beasts, and no one will scare them away.

28:27 The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.

(28:27) The LORD will smite thee with ... emerods.
What the Bible says about hemorrhoids

God will smite you with the botch of Egypt, hemorrhoids, the scab, and the itch, from which you will not be healed.

28:28 The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:

(28:28) The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart.
What the Bible says about blind people

28:29 And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee.

(28:29) You will grope at noon, be oppressed, and no one will save you.

28:30 Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her: thou shalt build an house, and thou shalt not dwell therein: thou shalt plant a vineyard, and shalt not gather the grapes thereof.

(28:30) Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her.

You'll get married and another man will have sex with your wife; build a house, but not live in it; plant a vinyard, but gather no grapes.

28:31 Thine ox shall be slain before thine eyes, and thou shalt not eat thereof: thine ass shall be violently taken away from before thy face, and shall not be restored to thee: thy sheep shall be given unto thine enemies, and thou shalt have none to rescue them.

(28:31) Your ox will be killed in front of you (and you won't eat it); your ass will be violently taken away (and not returned); and your sheep will be given to your enemies.

28:32 Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people, and thine eyes shall look, and fail with longing for them all the day long; and there shall be no might in thine hand.

(28:32) Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people.

28:33 The fruit of thy land, and all thy labours, shall a nation which thou knowest not eat up; and thou shalt be only oppressed and crushed alway:

(28:33) The fruit of your land will be eaten by another nation, who will oppress you.

28:34 So that thou shalt be mad for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see.

(28:34) You will go mad because of the things you see.

28:35 The LORD shall smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy foot unto the top of thy head.

(28:35) God will smite you in the knees and legs with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of your foot to the top of your head.

28:36 The LORD shall bring thee, and thy king which thou shalt set over thee, unto a nation which neither thou nor thy fathers have known; and there shalt thou serve other gods, wood and stone.

(28:36) God will set a king over you, who will force you to serve other gods made of wood and stone.

28:37 And thou shalt become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword, among all nations whither the LORD shall lead thee.

(28:37) You will become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword among other nations.

28:38 Thou shalt carry much seed out into the field, and shalt gather but little in; for the locust shall consume it.

(28:38) Locusts will eat your crops.

28:39 Thou shalt plant vineyards, and dress them, but shalt neither drink of the wine, nor gather the grapes; for the worms shall eat them.

(28:39) Worms will eat your grapes, so you won't drink any wine.

28:40 Thou shalt have olive trees throughout all thy coasts, but thou shalt not anoint thyself with the oil; for thine olive shall cast his fruit.

(28:40) Your olive trees will bear no fruit.

28:41 Thou shalt beget sons and daughters, but thou shalt not enjoy them; for they shall go into captivity.

(28:41) Your sons and daughters will be enslaved.

28:42 All thy trees and fruit of thy land shall the locust consume.

(28:42) Locusts will eat all your trees and fruit.

28:43 The stranger that is within thee shall get up above thee very high; and thou shalt come down very low.

(28:43) The stranger that is within thee shall get up above thee very high; and thou shalt come down very low.
(See here for an example of how this verse is used to justify the mistreatment of immigrants by bible-believers.)

28:44 He shall lend to thee, and thou shalt not lend to him: he shall be the head, and thou shalt be the tail.

(28:44) Strangers will lend to you, but you won't lend to them. The stranger will be the head, and you'll be the tail.

28:45 Moreover all these curses shall come upon thee, and shall pursue thee, and overtake thee, till thou be destroyed; because thou hearkenedst not unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep his commandments and his statutes which he commanded thee:

(28:45) God adds for repetitive emphasis: "All these curses shall come upon you." (Just in case you'd forgotten.)

28:46 And they shall be upon thee for a sign and for a wonder, and upon thy seed for ever.

28:47 Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things;

(28:46) These curses will be a sign and and wonder upon your seed forever.

28:48 Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee.

(28:48) God will force you to serve your enemies in hunger, thirst, poverty, and nakedness. He'll put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.

28:49 The LORD shall bring a nation against thee from far, from the end of the earth, as swift as the eagle flieth; a nation whose tongue thou shalt not understand;

28:50 A nation of fierce countenance, which shall not regard the person of the old, nor shew favour to the young:

(28:49-50) He'll bring a distant nation, as swift as an eagle, who is fierce-looking, and whose language you don't understand, who will have no pity on the old or young.

28:51 And he shall eat the fruit of thy cattle, and the fruit of thy land, until thou be destroyed: which also shall not leave thee either corn, wine, or oil, or the increase of thy kine, or flocks of thy sheep, until he have destroyed thee.

(28:51) This nation will eat the fruit of your cattle until you're destroyed, and will not leave you any corn, wine, oil, or sheep, until you have been destroyed.

28:52 And he shall besiege thee in all thy gates, until thy high and fenced walls come down, wherein thou trustedst, throughout all thy land: and he shall besiege thee in all thy gates throughout all thy land, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.

(28:52) The nation will make your walls and gates come dowon.

28:53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee:

28:54 So that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave:

(28:53) And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters.
What the Bible says about cannibalism, children, and God

28:55 So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat: because he hath nothing left him in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee in all thy gates.

(28:55) So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat.

Things will get so bad that you'll eat your own children.

28:56 The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter,

28:57 And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates.

(28:56-57) A woman's eyes will be evil toward her husband, and toward her children, whom she shall eat.

The tender and delicate woman among you ... her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom ... And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them."
What the Bible says about cannibalism

28:58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD;

28:59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance.

(28:58-59) If you won't do all the words of the law that are written in this book, so that you fear God's name (whatever that is), then God will give you and your seed wonderful plagues and sore, long-lasting sicknesses.

28:60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee.

28:61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring upon thee, until thou be destroyed.

(28:60-61) Moreover, he'll give you all the diseases of Egypt, and every sickness and plague that is written about in this book until you are destroyed.

28:62 And ye shall be left few in number, whereas ye were as the stars of heaven for multitude; because thou wouldest not obey the voice of the LORD thy God.

28:63 And it shall come to pass, that as the LORD rejoiced over you to do you good, and to multiply you; so the LORD will rejoice over you to destroy you, and to bring you to nought; and ye shall be plucked from off the land whither thou goest to possess it.

(28:62-63) And you'll be few in number; God will rejoice over you as he destroys you.

28:64 And the LORD shall scatter thee among all people, from the one end of the earth even unto the other; and there thou shalt serve other gods, which neither thou nor thy fathers have known, even wood and stone.

(28:64) God will scatter you from one end of the earth to the other, where you will worship other gods made out of wood and stone.

28:65 And among these nations shalt thou find no ease, neither shall the sole of thy foot have rest: but the LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind:

(28:65) You'll find no ease and the sole of your foot no rest; God will give you a trembling heart, failing eyes, and sorrow of mind.

28:66 And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and night, and shalt have none assurance of thy life:

(28:66) Your life will hang in doubt, and you will fear both during the day and at night.

28:67 In the morning thou shalt say, Would God it were even! and at even thou shalt say, Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see.

(28:67) You'll be so scared that in the morning you'll wish it were evening, and in the evening, you'll wish it were morning.

28:68 And the LORD shall bring thee into Egypt again with ships, by the way whereof I spake unto thee, Thou shalt see it no more again: and there ye shall be sold unto your enemies for bondmen and bondwomen, and no man shall buy you.

(28:68) God will send you to Egypt on ships, where you'll be sold to your enemies as slaves -- but even they won't buy you.