Interpretation in the The Quran

1. The Opening

1. Who is the author of the Quran? 1:1-7

2. By using the phrase, "Lord of the Worlds," is the Quran acknowledging the existence of other solar systems, planets, and earth-like worlds? 1:2

3. "Show us the straight path, The path of those whom Thou hast favoured; Not the (path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray."
   Muslims generally interpret "those whom Allah has favored," "those who earn Allah's anger," and "those who go astray" as Muslims, Jews, and Christians, respectively. 1:6-7

16. The Bee

4. Sometimes Allah replaces one revelation with another new and better one. This is called the theory of abrogation. 16:101

2. The Cow

5. Muhammad said that Satan runs away from any house in which this surah is recited. 2:1-286
6. "Alif. Lam. Mim."
   Many surahs start with three Arabic letters. No one knows why. But I have a theory. The mysterious letters (Alif. Lam. Mim.) are the Quranic equivalent of WTF. 2:1
7. Nothing in the Quran, not a singe verse, is wrong -- except for the verses that are wrong, that is. And Allah will replace them later with better verses. This is called the doctrine of abrogation. 2:106
8. Muslims can't eat carrion, pork, blood, or anything sacrificed to another god. 2:173
9. The Republicans should like this verse. It forbids what Tea Baggers they like to call the "death tax." So when a rich Muslim dies, he must leave all of his wealth to his family. 2:180
10. "Be not cast by your own hands to ruin."
    Some Muslims interpret this to forbid suicide bombings. 2:195
11. "Beautified is the life of the world for those who disbelieve; they make a jest of the believers."
    Yes life is beautiful to us unbelievers and we like to laugh at believers! 2:212
12. Is it OK to drink alcohol? 2:219

21. The Prophets

13. These verses are sometimes interpreted to mean that images of Allah, Muhammad, and the other prophets are forbidden. 21:52-54

38. Sad

14. What did Allah tell Job to smite with the branch? See here for an interesting interpretation of this verse. 38:44

4. Women

15. Is it OK to drink alcohol? 4:43

42. Counsel

16. This verse is sometimes interpreted to mean that images of Allah, Muhammad, and the other prophets are forbidden. 42:11

5. The Table Spread

17. "Go into the holy land which Allah hath ordained for you."
    Since this verse says that Allah gave Jews "the holy land," why are most Muslims opposed to the state of Israel today? 5:21
18. "The party of Allah, they are the victorious."
    Hezbollah displays this verse along with an assaut rifle on its flag. 5:56
19. Drinking alcohol and gambling are not permitted. They are tools of Satan to keep believers from proper worship. 5:90-91

51. The Winnowing Winds

20. The words, "I am a plain warner unto you from him," could not have been spoken by Allah. So how is Allah the author of the Quran? 51:50

52. The Mount

21. Allah will reward faithful Muslims after they die with "fair ones with wide, lovely eyes". 52:20

53. The Star

22. Have ye thought upon Al-Lat and Al-'Uzza and Manat, the third, the other? 53:19-20

    There is great controversy surrounding these verses.

    The story goes like this: Allah revealed surah 53 to Muhammad through verses 19 and 20, which refer to three Arab godesses (Al-lat, Al-'Uzza, and Manat).

    Then Satan tempted Muhammad to add the following verses to attract Muhammad's polytheistic neighbors:

    These are the exalted cranes (intermediaries), whose intercession is to be hoped for.

    These verses ("the Satanic verses") were later removed and replaced with the current verses 21-22, which make fun of the idea of having female gods. (There is only one God and he is male.)

    Are yours the males and His the females?

    That indeed were an unfair division!

56. The Event

23. "A noble Quran ... which none toucheth save the purified."

    This is the basis of the rules for handling the Quran. (Menstruating women and those who haven't washed after sex, for example, are not to touch it. It's not supposed to be placed beneath any other book, taken into the bathroom, etc.) 57:77-79

7. The Heights

24. According to the Sunnah, Muhammed said that Adam was 60 cubits tall. 7:69

74. The Cloaked One

25. "Above it are nineteen." 74:30

    Nineteen is a special number in Islam.