Interpretation in the The Quran (25)
-
1:1
- By using the phrase, "Lord of the Worlds," is the Quran acknowledging the existence of other solar systems, planets, and earth-like
worlds?
1:2
- "Show us the straight path, The path of those whom Thou hast favoured; Not the (path) of those who earn Thine anger nor
of those who go astray."
Muslims generally interpret "those whom Allah has favored," "those who earn Allah's anger," and "those who go astray" as Muslims, Jews, and Christians,
respectively.
1:6
-
that Satan runs away
from any house in which this surah is recited.
2:1
- "Alif. Lam. Mim."
Many surahs start with three Arabic letters. No one knows why. But I have a theory. The mysterious letters (Alif. Lam. Mim.)
are the Quranic equivalent of WTF.
2:1
- Nothing in the Quran, not a singe verse, is wrong --
except for the verses that are wrong, that is. And Allah will replace them later with better verses. This is called the doctrine of
.
2:106
- Muslims can't eat carrion, pork, blood, or anything sacrificed to another god.
2:173
- The Republicans should like this verse. It forbids what Tea Baggers they like to call the "death tax." So when a rich Muslim dies,
he must leave all of his wealth to his family.
2:180
- "Be not cast by your own hands to ruin."
Some Muslims interpret this to forbid suicide bombings.
2:195
- "Beautified is the life of the world for those who disbelieve;
they make a jest of the believers."
Yes life is beautiful to us unbelievers and we like to laugh at believers!
2:212
-
2:219
-
4:43
- "Go into the holy land which Allah hath ordained for you."
Since this verse says that Allah gave Jews "the holy land," why are most Muslims opposed to the state of Israel today?
5:21
- "The party of Allah, they are the victorious."
along with an assaut rifle on its flag.
5:56
- Drinking alcohol and gambling are not permitted. They are tools of Satan to keep believers from proper worship.
5:90
-
, Muhammed said that Adam was 60 cubits tall.
7:69
- Sometimes Allah replaces one revelation with another new and better one. This is called the theory of
.
16:101
- These verses are sometimes interpreted to mean that images of Allah, Muhammad, and the other prophets are forbidden.
21:52
- What did Allah tell Job to smite with the branch? See for an
interesting interpretation of this verse.
38:44
- This verse is sometimes interpreted to mean that images of Allah, Muhammad, and the other prophets are forbidden.
42:11
- The words, "I am a plain warner unto you from him," could not have
been spoken by Allah. So
51:50
- Allah will reward faithful Muslims after they die with "fair ones with wide, lovely eyes".
52:20
-
Have ye thought upon Al-Lat and Al-'Uzza and Manat, the third, the other?
There is
surrounding these verses.
The story goes like this: Allah revealed surah 53 to
Muhammad through verses 19 and 20, which refer to three Arab godesses (Al-lat, Al-'Uzza, and Manat).
Then Satan tempted Muhammad to add the following verses to attract Muhammad's polytheistic neighbors:
These are the exalted cranes (intermediaries), whose intercession is to be hoped for.
These verses ("the Satanic verses") were later removed and replaced with the current verses 21-22, which
make fun of the idea of having female gods. (There is only one God and he is male.)
Are yours the males and His the females?53:19
- "A noble Quran ... which none toucheth save the purified."
This is the basis of the rules for handling the Quran. (Menstruating women and those who haven't washed
after sex, for example, are not to touch it. It's not supposed to be placed beneath any other book,
taken into the bathroom, etc.)
56:77
- "Above it are nineteen."
Nineteen is .
74:30
