Trivia:

Greetings and salutations!
1:1-9

1 Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated unto the gospel of God,

This is a letter from Paul

2 (Which he had promised afore by his prophets in the holy scriptures,)

about Jesus, the Son of God,

3 Concerning his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh;

4 And declared to be the Son of God with power, according to the spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead:

5 By whom we have received grace and apostleship, for obedience to the faith among all nations, for his name:

6 Among whom are ye also the called of Jesus Christ:

who is a descendant of David according to the flesh. [1]

7 To all that be in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

8 First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world.

9 For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers;

to everyone in Rome.

I'd like to come visit you

1:10-15

10 Making request, if by any means now at length I might have a prosperous journey by the will of God to come unto you.

11 For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established;

12 That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.

13 Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles.

14 I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise.

I'm asking you for your assistance

so that I can come to visit you.

15 So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also.

I'm ready to preach the gospel to you in Rome.

The gospel saves
1:16-17

16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.

The gospel of Christ saves everyone who believes in it. [2]

First to the Jews, and then to the Greeks.

17 For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.

Because it's written, "Just people live by faith." [3]

Everyone is evil (especially atheists and homosexuals)
1:18-31

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;

The wrath of God is toward all ungodliness and unrighteousness.

19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.

God has made his existence known by the things he's created.

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; that they are without excuse:

So those who don't believe in him have no excuse. [4]

21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

They knew God, but didn't glorify or thank him.

Their thoughts were useless,

and their foolish hearts were darkened.

22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

They thought they were wise, but became fools. [5]

23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

They made images of people, birds, beasts, and creeping things.

24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

So God let them become unclean,

by following own their hearts.

25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

They cared more for creatures than the creator. [6]

26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

So God let them follow their own desires.

Their women changed their natural use

into something unnatural. [7]

27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

And the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, [8]

lusted for one another,

and getting the punishment they deserved.

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

So God gave them up to their reprobate minds. [9]

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

They became filled with fornication, wickedness, maliciousness, envy, murder.

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

Whisperers, backbiters, God haters, despiteful, proud, inventors of evil things, disobedient children.

31Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

Without understanding, natural affection, unmerciful.

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

People who do things like that should be killed,

as should anyone who takes pleasure in their bad behavior. [10]