(15:1) "Samson visited his wife with a kid."
The New Oxford Annotated Bible says that a young goat was "the usual gift for sexual intercourse." (Gen.38:17)
OK, that may have been true for prostitutes, but did you have to give your wife a goat every time you had sex?
(15:1) "I will go in to my wife into the chamber."
Samson wants to have sex with his wife in the bedroom, but his father-in-law wouldn't let him (since he gave Samson's wife to his best man).
(15:2) "I gave her to thy companion: is not her younger sister fairer than she?"
Samson's father-in-law gave Samson's wife
away to a friend, since he thought Samson "hated" her. He suggests
that Samson take his younger daughter instead, saying the younger one's prettier anyway.
(15:3) "Now shall I be more blameless than the Philistines."
Samson decides to take revenge on the Philistines for -- what? Samson's father-in-law gave away his wife because he thought Samson "hated" her.
What did the Philistines have to do with that?
15:1
But it came to pass within a while after, in the time of wheat harvest,
that Samson visited his wife with a kid; and he said, I will go in to my
wife into the chamber. But her father would not suffer him to go in.
15:2And her father said, I
verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her; therefore I gave her to
thy companion: is not her younger sister fairer than she? take her, I pray
thee, instead of her.
15:3And Samson said concerning them, Now shall I be more blameless than the
Philistines, though I do them a displeasure.
15:4And Samson went and caught
three hundred foxes, and took firebrands, and turned tail to tail, and put a
firebrand in the midst between two tails.
15:5And when he had set the
brands on fire, he let them go into the standing corn of the
Philistines, and burnt up both the shocks, and also the standing corn, with
the vineyards and olives.
15:6
Then the Philistines said, Who hath done this? And they answered, Samson,
the son in law of the Timnite, because he had taken his wife, and given her
to his companion. And the
Philistines came up, and burnt her and her father with fire.
15:7
And Samson said unto them, Though ye have done this, yet will I be avenged
of you, and after that I will cease.
(15:4-8) "Samson went and caught three hundred foxes, and took firebrands, and turned tail to tail,
and put a firebrand in the midst between two tails. And when he had set the brands on fire, he let them go."
Samson catches 300 foxes, ties their tails together, and sets them on fire; the Philistines burn to death
Samson's' ex-wife and father-in-law; and Samson smites the Philistines "hip and thigh with a great slaughter" -- all in five
action-packed verses! Don't you just love the Bible?
15:8And he smote them hip
and thigh with a great slaughter: and he went down and dwelt in the top
of the rock Etam.
15:9
Then the Philistines went up, and pitched in Judah, and spread themselves
in Lehi.
15:10
And the men of Judah said, Why are ye come up against us? And they
answered, To bind Samson are we come up, to do to him as he hath done to us.
15:11
Then three thousand men of Judah went to the top of the rock Etam, and
said to Samson, Knowest thou not that the Philistines are rulers over us?
what is this that thou hast done unto us? And he said unto them, As they did
unto me, so have I done unto them.
15:12
And they said unto him, We are come down to bind thee, that we may deliver
thee into the hand of the Philistines. And Samson said unto them, Swear unto
me, that ye will not fall upon me yourselves.
15:13
And they spake unto him, saying, No; but we will bind thee fast, and
deliver thee into their hand: but surely we will not kill thee. And they
bound him with two new cords, and brought him up from the rock.
15:14
And when he came unto Lehi, the Philistines shouted against him: and the Spirit of the
LORD came mightily upon him, and the cords that were upon his arms
became as flax that was burnt with fire, and his bands loosed from off his
hands.
(15:14-15) "The spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him ...
And he found a new jawbone of an ass and slew a thousand men therewith."
"The spirit of the Lord came
mightily upon" Samson and "he found a new jawbone of an ass ... and
took it, and slew 1000 men therewith." God's 52nd Killing
15:15And he found a new jawbone of an ass, and put forth his hand, and took it, and slew a thousand men
therewith.
15:16And Samson said, With
the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain
a thousand men.
15:17
And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking, that he cast
away the jawbone out of his hand, and called that place Ramathlehi.
15:18And he was sore athirst, and called on the LORD, and said, Thou hast given
this great deliverance into the hand of thy servant: and now shall I die for
thirst, and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised?
(15:17-19)
"God clave an hollow place that was in the jaw, and there came water thereout."
After Samson killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass, he was thirsty. So God
created and filled a hollow in the very same jawbone and put water in it for Samson to drink.
15:19
But God clave an hollow place that was in the jaw, and there came water
thereout; and when he had drunk, his spirit came again, and he revived:
wherefore he called the name thereof Enhakkore, which is in Lehi unto this
day.
15:20
And he judged Israel in the days of the Philistines twenty years.
Injustice 
Absurdities
Cruelty and Violence 
Intolerance 
Contradictions
Women 
Family Values 
Sex 
Interpretation 
Language 
Prophecy 
Science and History 
Good Stuff 
Samson commits arson
Samson slaughters 1000
Samson with the jawbone of the ass