Get the SAB on CD13:1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
13:2 Sanctify unto me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is mine.
Exodus
Introduction
A topical outline
Chapters
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Absurdities
Injustice 
Cruelty and Violence 
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Homosexuality Drunk With Blood:
God's Killings in the Bible
- Exodus
Exodus 13
13:1-16
God said to Moses,
Every firstborn man or beast must be consecrated to me. It is mine. [1]
13:3 And Moses said unto the people, Remember this day, in which ye came out from Egypt, out of the house of bondage; for by strength of hand the LORD brought you out from this place: there shall no leavened bread be eaten.
13:4 This day came ye out in the month Abib.
Moses said to the people,
Remember this day, the day that you came out of Egypt.
Don't eat any unleavened bread.
13:5 And it shall be when the LORD shall bring thee into the land of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, which he sware unto thy fathers to give thee, a land flowing with milk and honey, that thou shalt keep this service in this month.
God will give you land that belongs to other people, a land flowing with milk and honey.
13:6 Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread, and in the seventh day shall be a feast to the LORD.
You must eat unleavened bread for seven days [2], and have a feast to God on the seventh day.
13:7 Unleavened bread shall be eaten seven days; and there shall no leavened bread be seen with thee, neither shall there be leaven seen with thee in all thy quarters.
During this time, no leavened bread shall be seen by you.
13:8 And thou shalt shew thy son in that day, saying, This is done because of that which the LORD did unto me when I came forth out of Egypt.
When your son asks you why there's no leavened bread around, tell him it's because of what God did to you when you left Egypt.
13:9 And it shall be for a sign unto thee upon thine hand, and for a memorial between thine eyes, that the LORD's law may be in thy mouth: for with a strong hand hath the LORD brought thee out of Egypt.
It will be a sign on your hand and a memorial between your eyes, so God's law will be in your mouth. [3]
13:10 Thou shalt therefore keep this ordinance in his season from year to year.
13:11 And it shall be when the LORD shall bring thee into the land of the Canaanites, as he sware unto thee and to thy fathers, and shall give it thee,
Keep this law forever.
13:12 That thou shalt set apart unto the LORD all that openeth the matrix, and every firstling that cometh of a beast which thou hast; the males shall be the LORD's.
Every firstborn male belongs to God.
13:13 And every firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb; and if thou wilt not redeem it, then thou shalt break his neck: and all the firstborn of man among thy children shalt thou redeem.
Every firstborn ass must be redeemed with a lamb. If you don't redeem it, you must break its neck.
And you must redeem all your male firstborn children.
13:14 And it shall be when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What is this? that thou shalt say unto him, By strength of hand the LORD brought us out from Egypt, from the house of bondage:
13:15 And it came to pass, when Pharaoh would hardly let us go, that the LORD slew all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of man, and the firstborn of beast: therefore I sacrifice to the LORD all that openeth the matrix, being males; but all the firstborn of my children I redeem.
When your son asks you why you're doing this, say to him,Because when God brought us out of Egypt, he killed all of their firstborn sons and animals.
So I sacrifice to God all of my firstborn animals, and I redeem all my firstborn children.
13:16 And it shall be for a token upon thine hand, and for frontlets between thine eyes: for by strength of hand the LORD brought us forth out of Egypt.
So as a token to God, keep it on your hand and between your eyes [3] (because God brought us out of Egypt).
13:17-22
13:17 And it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go, that God led them not through the way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near; for God said, Lest peradventure the people repent when they see war, and they return to Egypt:
13:18 But God led the people about, through the way of the wilderness of the Red sea: and the children of Israel went up harnessed out of the land of Egypt.
13:19 And Moses took the bones of Joseph with him: for he had straitly sworn the children of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you; and ye shall carry up my bones away hence with you.
13:20 And they took their journey from Succoth, and encamped in Etham, in the edge of the wilderness.
God led the people through "the wilderness of the Red Sea" to avoid crossing the land of the Philistines. [4]
13:21 And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night:
13:22 He took not away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people.
God went before the Israelites in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.
Notes
- Whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast:
it is mine. (v.1)
To commemorate the divine massacre of the Egyptian children, God instructs the Israelites to "sacrifice to the Lord all that openeth the matrix" -- all the males, that is. God has no use for dead, burnt female bodies.
- Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread. (v.6)
How many days is unleavened bread to be eaten during the passover?
- It shall be for a sign unto thee upon thine hand, and for a memorial between thine eyes.
(v.9)
It shall be for a token upon thine hand, and for frontlets between thine eyes. (v.16)
These verses are interpreted by the rabbis to mean, "Wear the commandments on your hand and head (between the eyes)." See Dt 6:8
- The land of the Philistines (v.17)
God avoids leading the Israelites through "the land of the Philistines" hundreds of years before the Philistines were established in Canaan.
- Give your firstborn son to God.
- Sanctify unto me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is mine. 13:2a
- Sanctify all of your firstborn animals.
- Sanctify unto me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is mine. 13:2b
- Thou shalt set apart unto the LORD all that openeth the matrix, and every firstling that cometh of a beast which thou hast; the males shall be the LORD's. 13:12
- Eat unleavened bread for seven days.
- Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread ... Unleavened bread shall be eaten seven days. 13:6-7
- During the feast of unleavened bread, remove all yeast from every house.
- There shall no leavened bread be seen with thee, neither shall there be leaven seen with thee in all thy quarters. 13:7
- On the Passover, show your son what God did to you when you left Egypt.
- Thou shalt shew thy son in that day, saying, This is done because of that which the LORD did unto me when I came forth out of Egypt. 13:8
- Every firstborn donkey shall be redeemed by sacrificing a lamb.
- Every firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb. 13:13a
- If a firstborn donkey is not redeemed, break its neck.
- If thou wilt not redeem it, then thou shalt break his neck. 13:13b
- When your son asks you why your are sacrificing lambs and breaking donkeys' necks, tell him that you are doing it because God killed all the Egyptian firstborn children and animals.
- When thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What is this? that thou shalt say unto him, By strength of hand the LORD brought us out from Egypt, from the house of bondage: And it came to pass, when Pharaoh would hardly let us go, that the LORD slew all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of man, and the firstborn of beast: therefore I sacrifice to the LORD all that openeth the matrix, being males; but all the firstborn of my children I redeem. 13:14-15
- Wear the commandments on your hand.
- It shall be for a sign unto thee upon thine hand. 13:9a
- It shall be for a token upon thine hand. 13:16a
- Wear the commandments between your eyes.
- It shall be ... a memorial between thine eyes. 13:9b
- It shall be ... for frontlets between thine eyes. 13:16b
- Dwindling in Unbelief
- Richard Dawkins: The God of the Old Testament (Exodus 13:15)
- Slate Blogs the Bible by David Plotz
- God Enjoys the 10 Plagues Way Too Much
- Christian Response
- The Annotated Skeptic's Annotated Bible
Drunk With Blood Audiobook: Exodus