0 Leviticus : Family Values

What man soever of the seed of Aaron is a leper, or hath a running issue; he shall not eat of the holy things, until he be clean. And whoso toucheth any thing that is unclean by the dead, or a man whose seed goeth from him. 22:4

Trivia: How long is a mother unclean after delivering a baby boy?

Leviticus : Family Values (20)

  1. Two of the sons of Aaron "offered strange fire before the Lord" and "there went out fire from the Lord, and devoured them, and they died before the Lord." 10:1-2
  2. "And Aaron held his peace."
    Aaron watched in silence as God burned to death his sons. 10:3
  3. Moses tells Aaron that his sons were burned to death to sanctify and glorify God. 10:3
  4. Moses tells Aaron's cousins to drag the burned bodies out of the camp, and he warns Aaron not to mourn the death of his sons or God will kill him too, along with everyone else. 10:4-6
  5. "She shall be unclean."
    Women are dirty and sinful after childbirth, so God prescribes rituals for their purification. (And baby girls make them twice as sinful and dirty as baby boys do.) 12:1-5
  6. "If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days ... And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days."
    If a boy is born, the mother is unclean for 7 days and must be purified for 33 days. 12:2, 4
  7. "But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks ... and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days."
    If a girl is born, the mother is unclean for 14 days and be purified for 66 days. This is because, in the eyes of God, girls are twice as dirty as boys. 12:5
  8. "She shall bring a lamb ... for a burnt offering, and... a young pigeon, or dove, for a sin offering."
    After a woman gives birth, a priest must kill a lamb, pigeon, or dove as a sin offering. This is because having children is sinful and God likes it when things are killed for him. 12:6
  9. "She shall be cleansed from the issue of her blood." 12:7
  10. "If she be not able to bring a lamb, then she shall bring two turtles, or two young pigeons ... and she shall be clean." 12:8
  11. "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." Couldn't we try spanking first? 20:9
  12. If a man has sex with his father's wife, kill them both. 20:11
  13. If a man has sex with his daughter in law, kill them both. 20:12
  14. If you "lie" with your wife and your mother-in-law (now that sounds fun!), all three of your must be burned to death. 20:14
  15. Don't have sex with your sister, uncle's wife, or your brother's wife -- and tell them to wear clothes whenever you're around. 20:17, 19-21
  16. A priest's daughter who "plays the whore" is to be burned to death. 21:9
  17. God tells the Israelites to make slaves out of their neighbors and their families. The "heathens" and "strangers" are to be their possessions forever. 25:44-46
  18. "Ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it." 26:16
  19. "I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children." 26:22
  20. "And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat." 26:29

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