"Woman, what have I to do with thee?"
And his most blessed mother said unto him, "I'm your fucking
mother, you jerk." (Or words to that effect.) 2:4
Jesus magically perceived that a Samaritan woman had been married and divorced five times previously.
(He could spot a divorced woman a mile away.) Since women weren't allowed to get a divorce, it was always the woman's fault
and divorced women were considered outcasts. This was a great opportunity for Jesus to explain why the Mosaic marriage laws
were unjust and correct them -- if he thought they were wrong, that is, which apparently he didn't. 4:7-18
Jesus tells Mary Magdalene not to touch him because he hasn't yet ascended -- as if the touch of a woman
would defile him and somehow prevent him from ascending into heaven. 20:17
