Fewer Words Version: The ark was with the Philistines for seven months. They called for their priests and diviners, and asked them, "What should we do with the ark?"
The priests said, "If you send the ark away, don't send it empty. Include a trespass offering."
They asked, "What should the offering be?"
The priests answered, "Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice. That will glorify the God of Israel and he'll stop messing with you and your gods." 1 Samuel 6:1-6
