Judges
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11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21


Absurdities
Injustice
Cruelty and Violence
Intolerance
Family Values
Women
Contradictions
Sex
Interpretation
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Language
Prophecy
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Dwindling in Unbelief
-Judges




SAB: Judges

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Judges: Family Values

  1. Caleb offers to give his daughter to anyone who conquers the city of Debir. Caleb's nephew wins the contest and is given his cousin for a prize. 1:12-13

  2. Gideon orders his son to kill two kings, but he refuses. So Gideon has to do it himself since his son isn't "man" enough to do it. 8:20-21

  3. Gideon had 70 sons (no one knows how many daughters) "for he had many wives." 8:30

  4. Abimelech kills 70 brothers "upon one stone." (He was trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records.) 9:5

  5. When "the spirit of the Lord" comes upon Jephthah, he makes a deal with God: If God will help him kill the Ammonites, then he (Jephthah) will offer to God as a burnt offering whatever comes out of his house to greet him. God keeps his end of the deal by providing Jephthah with "a very great slaughter." But when Jephthah returns, his nameless daughter comes out to greet him (who'd he expect, his wife?). Well, a deal's a deal, so he delivers her to God as a burnt offering -- after letting her spend a couple of months going up and down on the mountains bewailing her virginity. 11:29-39

  6. "Her father ... did with her according to his vow which he had vowed." 11:39

  7. "Samson ... saw a woman ... of the daughters of the Philistines ... And Samson said unto his father ... Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well." 14:1-3

  8. After ripping up the lion, Samson went to visit the Philistine woman that he fell in lust with earlier. "And she pleased Samson well." 14:7

  9. "But Samson's wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend." 14:20

  10. Samson's father-in-law gave Samson's wife away to a friend, since he thought Samson "hated" her. He suggests that Samson take his younger daughter instead, saying the younger one's prettier anyway. 15:2

  11. "Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her." 16:1

  12. "Afterward ... he loved a woman ... whose name was Delilah." 16:4

  13. After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine to a mob of perverts (who want to have sex with his guest). The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they "abuse her all night." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite puts her dead body on an ass and takes her home. Then he chops her body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of Israel. 19:22-30

  14. After the Israelites heard the Levite's story (about chopping up his dead concubine and sending her body parts to each tribe of Israel) they vowed not to "give" their daughters to the Benjamites. So now they had a problem: they just finished killing all the Benjamite women and children (Jg 20:48) so there were no women for the surviving Benjamite men to marry. [There were 600 Benjamite men that survived the war with the Israelites. (Jg 20:47)] 21:1-7

  15. To find wives for the Benjamites (they were unwilling to use their own daughters), the other tribes attacked and killed all occupants of a city except for the young virgins. These virgins were then given to the Benjamites for wives. 21:7-23

  16. Here's what the Israelites decide to do. They will go and kill everyone in Jabeshgilead except for the virgin women and give them to the 600 surviving Benjamites. 21:11

  17. So the Israelites killed all the non-virgin women and children in Jabeshgilead, bringing back 400 virgin women to give to the Benjamites. But they were still 200 short. Damn! 21:12-14

  18. Then the elders of the congregation said, How shall we do for wives for them that remain, seeing the women are destroyed out of Benjamin?" 21:16

  19. So they come up with another brilliant plan. Have the Benjamites hide in the bushes and then catch the daughters of Shiloh when they come out to dance. So that's what they did and everyone lived happily ever after. 21:19-23