Peter's mother-in-law was sick with a fever. Jesus healed her by touching her hand, so she could get back to serving them. 1:30-31
Jesus heals "all that were diseased" by casting out devils. 1:32-34
Jesus heals a paralytic man by forgiving his sins. (Paralysis is caused by sinful behavior.) Notice that Jesus didn't just heal him,
he forgave his sins, which is something only God is supposed to be able to do. 2:3-12
"He [Jesus] ordained twelve, that they should ... have power to heal sicknesses,
and to cast out devils." 3:14-15
Jesus is incorrect when he says that the mustard seed is the smallest seed.
(The smallest seeds are found among
the tropical, epiphytic orchids.) 4:31
"He arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm."
4:39
"A certain woman ... had an issue of blood twelve years...."
So this is where all those phony faith-healing stories came from! Notice that the doctors made her condition worse, but she was instantly cured
by faith. 5:25-29
"Thy faith hath made thee whole." If you have enough faith, you will never get sick.
(Illness is caused by sin and lack of faith. Medical science is unnecessary.) 5:34
"And they cast out many devils, and anointed with oil many that were sick, and healed them."
6:13
"Whithersoever he entered, into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets, and besought him that
they might touch if it were but the border of his garment: and as many as touched him were made whole." 6:56
Jesus puts his fingers in a deaf man's ears, then spits and touches his tongue. This immediately cured his deafness.
7:32-35
Jesus cures a blind man by spitting in his eyes. 8:22-23
Jesus' spit did not completely cure the blind. So Jesus tried again. He put his hands on the man's
eyes and, this time, the blind man "saw every man clearly." 8:24-25
Jesus heals a boy with "a dumb spirit" by saying, "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge
thee, come out of him and enter no more into him." (Sounds like a script from Monty Python,
doesn't it?) But how could a deaf spirit hear the words
spoken to it? And how could a dumb spirit cry out? 9:17, 25-26
Immortal worms: "Where their worm dieth not" 9:44, 46, 48
"But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female."
Jesus believed that sex and Adam and Eve were created
"from the beginning." But the universe is about 13.7 billion years old,
the earth 4.6 billion, sex a billion years or so, and humans (depending
on how you define "human") for a couple million years. 10:6
"Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And
immediately he received his sight." 10:52
"The beginnings of sorrows."
The end of the world will be marked with wars, famines, and earthquakes. (Thank God for that helpful hint!) 13:8
"In those days ... the moon shall not give her light, and
the stars of heaven shall fall." Of course this is nonsense. The billions of stars will never
fall to earth and the moon does not produce its own light. 13:24-25
When Jesus was crucified, there was three hours of complete darkness "over the whole land." It is
strange that there is no record of this extraordinary event outside of the gospels.
15:33
