- David loved Jonathan more than women. (And he loved a lot of women!) 1:26
- When Joab (David's captain) kills Abner (by smiting him under the fifth rib of course), David says that he
and his kingdom are not responsible. The blame, he says, lays with Joab. So David curses Joab, his family, and their
descendants forever. Let them all be plagued with venereal diseases and leprosy, starve to death, commit suicide, or
lean on staves. (The Revised Standard Version translates "leaneth on a staff" as "holds a spindle," apparently
meaning effeminate -- real men don't spin or weave.) 3:27-29
