Trivia:

CHAPTER 15

Two million men (not counting women and children) died by the sword in recent Jaredite battles--Coriantumr and Shiz write letters to each other--The armies of Coriantumr and Shiz fight a series of battles in what is now upstate New York--All the Jaredites in the Western Hemisphere assemble to fight one last battle--God quits striving with people and Satan takes over--All of the Jaredites die (except for Shiz and Coriantumr) in a five-day series of battles--Coriantumr cuts off Shiz's head--God tells Ether to go forth--Ether goes forth to see that the Jaredites have all died--Ether doesn't care whether his writing is translated or not. (ca. 600 BCE)

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The end of the Jaredites
Absurdity Science and History Cruelty 15:1-34

1 And it came to pass when Coriantumr had recovered of his wounds, he began to remember the words which Ether had spoken unto him.

When Coriantumr had recovered from his wounds he began to remember what Ether had told him. [1]

2 He saw that there had been slain by the sword already nearly two millions of his people, and he began to sorrow in his heart; yea, there had been slain two millions of mighty men, and also their wives and their children.

3 He began to repent of the evil which he had done; he began to remember the words which had been spoken by the mouth of all the prophets, and he saw them that they were fulfilled thus far, every whit; and his soul mourned and refused to be comforted.

More than two million mighty men had already been killed with swords [2], not counting their wives and children.

4 And it came to pass that he wrote an epistle unto Shiz, desiring him that he would spare the people, and he would give up the kingdom for the sake of the lives of the people.

Coriantumr wrote a letter to Shiz, offering to give up the kingdom so that the killing could stop.

5 And it came to pass that when Shiz had received his epistle he wrote an epistle unto Coriantumr, that if he would give himself up, that he might slay him with his own sword, that he would spare the lives of the people.

Shiz replied saying, "Sure, if you'll let me kill you, I'll stop killing people."

6 And it came to pass that the people repented not of their iniquity; and the people of Coriantumr were stirred up to anger against the people of Shiz; and the people of Shiz were stirred up to anger against the people of Coriantumr; wherefore, the people of Shiz did give battle unto the people of Coriantumr.

7 And when Coriantumr saw that he was about to fall he fled again before the people of Shiz.

8 And it came to pass that he came to the waters of Ripliancum, which, by interpretation, is large, or to exceed all; wherefore, when they came to these waters they pitched their tents; and Shiz also pitched his tents near unto them; and therefore on the morrow they did come to battle.

Apparently Coriantumr refused Shiz's kind offer, because the next thing you know, the two armies are fighting again by the waters of Ripliancum, which by interpretation (you probably need your seer stones for this) means "large."

9 And it came to pass that they fought an exceedingly sore battle, in which Coriantumr was wounded again, and he fainted with the loss of blood.

10 And it came to pass that the armies of Coriantumr did press upon the armies of Shiz that they beat them, that they caused them to flee before them; and they did flee southward, and did pitch their tents in a place which was called Ogath.

Coriantumr was wounded again in another exceedingly sore battle in which he defeated Shiz and his army which then fled to a place called Ogath.

11 And it came to pass that the army of Coriantumr did pitch their tents by the hill Ramah; and it was that same hill where my father Mormon did hide up the records unto the Lord, which were sacred.

Coriantumr's army camped by the hill Ramah. [3]

12 And it came to pass that they did gather together all the people upon all the face of the land, who had not been slain, save it was Ether.

13 And it came to pass that Ether did behold all the doings of the people; and he beheld that the people who were for Coriantumr were gathered together to the army of Coriantumr; and the people who were for Shiz were gathered together to the army of Shiz.

14 Wherefore, they were for the space of four years gathering together the people, that they might get all who were upon the face of the land, and that they might receive all the strength which it was possible that they could receive.

15 And it came to pass that when they were all gathered together, every one to the army which he would, with their wives and their children -- both men women and children being armed with weapons of war, having shields, and breastplates, and head-plates, and being clothed after the manner of war -- they did march forth one against another to battle; and they fought all that day, and conquered not.

16 And it came to pass that when it was night they were weary, and retired to their camps; and after they had retired to their camps they took up a howling and a lamentation for the loss of the slain of their people; and so great were their cries, their howlings and lamentations, that they did rend the air exceedingly.

17 And it came to pass that on the morrow they did go again to battle, and great and terrible was that day; nevertheless, they conquered not, and when the night came again they did rend the air with their cries, and their howlings, and their mournings, for the loss of the slain of their people.

All the Jaredites in the Western Hemisphere gathered together to fight it out.

Every man, woman, and child chose a side to fight on -- except for Ether, who just watched from a distance for four years, as the people gathered to fight.

18 And it came to pass that Coriantumr wrote again an epistle unto Shiz, desiring that he would not come again to battle, but that he would take the kingdom, and spare the lives of the people.

19 And behold, the Spirit of the Lord had ceased striving with them, and Satan had full power over the hearts of the people; for they were given up unto the hardness of their hearts, and the blindness of their minds that they might be destroyed; wherefore they went again to battle.

Coriantumr tried one more time to contact Shiz though the mail, saying

Let's be friends.

You can have the kingdom if you want it.

The Spirit of the Lord quit striving with everyone, so Satan took over.

And together they made sure that the people killed each other.

20 And it came to pass that they fought all that day, and when the night came they slept upon their swords.

21 And on the morrow they fought even until the night came.

So they fought all day and then slept on their swords that night.

22 And when the night came they were drunken with anger, even as a man who is drunken with wine; and they slept again upon their swords.

They fought again the next day and got drunk on anger the next night.

23 And on the morrow they fought again; and when the night came they had all fallen by the sword save it were fifty and two of the people of Coriantumr, and sixty and nine of the people of Shiz.

On the third day they fought again.

All but 52 of Shiz's people and 69 or Coriantumr's were killed.

24 And it came to pass that they slept upon their swords that night, and on the morrow they fought again, and they contended in their might with their swords and with their shields, all that day.

25 And when the night came there were thirty and two of the people of Shiz, and twenty and seven of the people of Coriantumr.

After the fourth day of fighting only 32 people of Shiz and 27 people of Coriantumr survived.

26 And it came to pass that they ate and slept, and prepared for death on the morrow. And they were large and mighty men as to the strength of men.

The survivors ate and drank and prepared for death.

They were all large and mighty men.

27 And it came to pass that they fought for the space of three hours, and they fainted with the loss of blood.

They fought for the space of three hours on the fifth day of fighting. Everyone fainted with the loss of blood.

28 And it came to pass that when the men of Coriantumr had received sufficient strength that they could walk, they were about to flee for their lives; but behold, Shiz arose, and also his men, and he swore in his wrath that he would slay Coriantumr or he would perish by the sword.

After resting a bit, Coriantumr's men fled for their lives. But the next day, Shiz and his men caught up with them.

29 Wherefore, he did pursue them, and on the morrow he did overtake them; and they fought again with the sword. And it came to pass that when they had all fallen by the sword, save it were Coriantumr and Shiz, behold Shiz had fainted with the loss of blood.

Everyone fell by the sword except for Shiz and Coriantumr, with Shiz fainting for loss of blood.

30 And it came to pass that when Coriantumr had leaned upon his sword, that he rested a little, he smote off the head of Shiz.

Coriantumr rested on his sword for a little while; then he cut off Shiz's head.

31 And it came to pass that after he had smitten off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised upon his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died.

The headless Shiz struggled a bit for breath, and died.

32 And it came to pass that Coriantumr fell to the earth, and became as if he had no life.

Coriantumr fell to the ground as if he were dead.

33 And the Lord spake unto Ether, and said unto him: Go forth. And he went forth, and beheld that the words of the Lord had all been fulfilled; and he finished his record; (and the hundredth part I have not written) and he hid them in a manner that the people of Limhi did find them.

Then the Lord said to Ether, "Go forth."

Ether went forth and saw that the Lord's words had been fulfilled. [4] He finished his record (less than 1% is included in the Book of Mormon), and hid the records in a place where Limhi's people would find them.

34 Now the last words which are written by Ether are these: Whether the Lord will that I be translated, or that I suffer the will of the Lord in the flesh, it mattereth not, if it so be that I am saved in the kingdom of God. Amen.

Ether's last words were something about how it didn't matter if his writings are translated or not, just as long as he's saved. Or something like that.