Latest Posts
Posted: Tuesday 13 September 2011 ( 13 years ago )
2 Nephi 7-9: Tomorrow is a Latter Day
Jacob takes a break from his preaching (again) by throwing in a few more chapters from Isaiah so that 2400 years later the true (LDS) church will know the covenants that God has covenanted with the Jews.
And now, my beloved brethren, I have read t ...
Posted: Tuesday 28 June 2011 ( 13 years ago )
A Mormon just believes.
Have you noticed the Mormon reaction to the Tony-winning Broadway musical The Book of Mormon? Probably not. There wasn't much of one.
Mormons haven't tried to defend themselves by claiming that it got things wrong. And that is because it didn't. ...
Posted: Wednesday 18 May 2011 ( 13 years ago )
Zimri burns to death
Remember Zimri? The guy that killed Baasha’s wall-pissingfamily and friends for God? Well, now it’s his turn. What goes around,
comes around – a lot in the Bible!
After Zimri killed Elah (Baasha’s son), he replaced him as
king of Israel ...
Posted: Friday 06 May 2011 ( 13 years ago )
Take the Sam Harris challenge: Improve the Bible, Quran, and Book of Mormon in less than five minutes
The truth is that religion, as we speak of it (Islam, Christianity, Judaism), is based on the claim that God dictates certain books. He doesn't code software; he doesn't produce films; he doesn't score symphonies. He is an author. And this claim ...
Posted: Saturday 30 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
The good people in the Bible
A while back, I said that Vashti was the best person in the Bible. And while I still think she's a good choice for that award, I'd like to consider all possible candidates. Here is my attempt to do that. Let me know if I've left out any of your favo ...
Posted: Wednesday 27 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
What really happened to Jesus
There are many beliefs in the great vat of stupidity.
...
Posted: Friday 22 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
A Muslim / Mormon Good Friday to you!
We all know what Christians believe about Jesus' death. It's impossible to live in the western world without hearing the crucifixion stories, especially around this time of year.
But what about Muslims and Mormons? Do they have any cool Good Frida ...
Posted: Saturday 16 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
Vashti: The best person in the Bible
It's hard to find good people in the Bible.
There are lots of bad guys, though. Noah, Lot, Abraham, Moses, Gideon, Jephthah, Samson, Samuel, David, Elijah, Elisha, Jehu -- all are candidates for "The Worst Person in the Bible" award (or even ...
Posted: Sunday 10 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
Should Christians grow the word of God by burning the Quran?
Here's what the Bible says about it:
Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word ...
Posted: Friday 08 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
Applying Karen Armstrong’s new ancient principle of scriptural interpretation
Here it is in all its glory, as expressed in The Charter For Compassion:
We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scriptu ...
Posted: Wednesday 06 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
The Best Book in the Bible (revisited again)
(Updated to include the recent Genesis - Ecclesiastes SAB revision.)
In my last post I tried to find a way to measure the goodness of the books in the "Good Book", but I wasn't completely satisfied with the results. So here's one more try. Let me k ...
Posted: Tuesday 05 April 2011 ( 14 years ago )
The Best Book in the Bible
(Re-post after revising Genesis - Ecclesiastes. I'll do it again when I get through Revelation.)
What is the best book in the Bible?
Well, that, of course, depends on how you define "best".
One way to try to determine it, though, would be to id ...
Posted: Wednesday 09 March 2011 ( 14 years ago )
2 Nephi 6: Someday God will force non-Mormons to eat their own flesh and get drunk on their own blood.
Last time we learned what the LDS church really thinks about Native Americans: they are idle, mischievous, dark-skinned savages. They got that way because their ancestor Laman disobeyed Nephi, so God caused "a skin of blackness to come upon them" to ...
Posted: Tuesday 08 February 2011 ( 14 years ago )
2 Nephi 4-5: Because of their unbelief, the Lamanites are cursed, receive a skin of blackness
The title to this post is taken from the official LDS summary for 2 Nephi 5 -- at least it was the official summary, until it was changed by the LDS church in December 2010. In the new revised version, the Lamanites (Native Americans) are no longer ...
Posted: Tuesday 01 February 2011 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 4:136-176 -- Jesus wasn't really crucified, it just looked that way
The end of Surah 4 contains a bit of news about Jesus, something you may not have heard about before.
Here it is: Allah and Jesus worked together to make his death appear to be a bloody crucifixion, but it was all just a fancy magic trick. Jesus d ...
Posted: Saturday 15 January 2011 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 4:81-135 Ponder on the Quran
The Rev. Terry Jones announced this week that he plans to put the Quran on trial. And I think that's a great idea, as long as the Bible is put on trial, as well, using the same standards that are applied to the Quran. The burning, firing squad, drow ...
Posted: Monday 10 January 2011 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 22: Someday Catholics will get drunk on their own blood
As I mentioned in my last post, Nephi threw in a couple chapters from Isaiah, ending with this verse (Isaiah 49:26):
And I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; they shall be drunken with their own blood as with sweet wine. 1 Nephi ...
Posted: Friday 07 January 2011 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 4:35-80 Fresh skins for Allah's fire
This section starts off well enough, with Allah telling us to be kind to our parents, relatives, orphans, the needy, neighbors, strangers, and travelers.
(Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and unto the ...
Posted: Tuesday 28 December 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 20-21: I will feed them with their own flesh; they shall be drunken with their own blood
Joseph Smith Nephi must have been getting tired of writing. Why else would he copy two chapters nearly verbatim from the King James Version of the Bible?
I suspect that the answer is much like Bill Clinton's answer to the question, "Why did you ha ...
Posted: Wednesday 22 December 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 4: 1-34 Woe to the Women
Surah 4 begins by repeating one of the first lies of Genesis. God created a man first, then a woman from the man, and all humans descended from them.
Your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hat ...
Posted: Saturday 18 December 2010 ( 14 years ago )
The LDS church is embarrassed by its own book
The Mormons did it again. They changed the Book of Mormon to make it a bit less embarrassing.
To see this best, though, you need to go get your Book of Mormon. I know you've got one somewhere. I'll wait.
OK, good. You found it.
Now chec ...
Posted: Tuesday 14 December 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 19: Zenos' Paradox
It's hard to keep track of all the plates in the Book of Mormon.
Remember the the plates of Lehi? You know, the ones that Lehi forgot when he left Jerusalem, so he had to send his sons back get them? Lehi's plates were so important to God that he ...
Posted: Sunday 12 December 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 3 -- Allah is the best of schemers
The last surah (2) took eleven posts over a period of five months. Even considering its length (286 verses), that's just too darned long. At that rate, it'd take me about nine years to finish blogging the Quran. So I'm going to speed things up a bit. ...
Posted: Thursday 25 November 2010 ( 14 years ago )
50 reasons to be ashamed (and not a fan) of Jesus
There's a group in the United States called Not a Fan that encourage Christians to show that they aren't ashamed of Jesus (no matter how badly he behaved in the gospels) by being not just fans, but fanatics.
But every believer should be ashamed ...
Posted: Tuesday 16 November 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 18: Nephi discovers America
This is the chapter you've all been waiting for. The exciting climax to First Book of Nephi in which Nephi discovers America.
It begins with God going over with Nephi his plans for the ship's construction, showing him (from time to time) how to wo ...
Posted: Friday 12 November 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Quran 2:243-286 -- Zombie soldiers, Rip Van Winkle, bird talk, and other silly stories
Allah begins this section by asking Muhammad if he'd heard the story about the resurrected soldiers. You know, the one where back in the day there were thousands of soldiers that Allah told to die and then after they died he raised them from the dead ...
Posted: Thursday 11 November 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Something Christians, Jews, and Muslims can agree on: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
As you may have heard, Michelle Obama ran into trouble Tuesday while visiting Indonesia. She shook hands with a man (actually several of them) while passing through a receiving line that greeted the president and the first lady after their arrival in ...
Posted: Thursday 04 November 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 17: The Trip to Bountiful
Up to now, Nephi and company have just been camping out in the wilderness, going on little side trips from time to time. First they traveled from "the land of Jerusalem" to the shore of the Red Sea, a distance of at least 400 km. Then Nephi and his b ...
Posted: Tuesday 02 November 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Jeroboam's family
The reason for this killing was the same as the last: God disliked Jeroboam (he was the worst person in the world) so he killed his son.
Now he's back for the rest of the family.
I think God may have gotten a bit carried away with this one, ...
Posted: Monday 01 November 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2:218-242: Allah's guide to alcohol, gambling, menstruation, sex, and divorce
If anyone asks you about drinking and gambling, here's what Allah says to say.
They question thee about strong drink and games of chance. Say: In both is great sin, and (some) utility for men; but the sin of them is greater than their usefulness. 2 ...
Posted: Wednesday 27 October 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Current's Wager
If you wear garlic around your neck and vampires don't exist, you have nothing to lose.
But if vampires do exist and you don't have garlic around your neck, you have everything to lose. (About 12 pints of blood, anyway.)
So wearing garlic around ...
Posted: Sunday 24 October 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 16: A group marriage, magic brass ball, and broken steel bow
After Nephi finished preaching to his evil older brothers, they all got down to more important matters.
Like sex.
Remember how Lehi's family left Jerusalem to "go into the wilderness" and somehow ended up more than 400 kilometers away on the shor ...
Posted: Friday 22 October 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2:190-217 -- Allah's Rules for Holy Warfare
In this section, Allah lays down the rules of war for the religion of peace.
The first rule is that you must "fight in the way of Allah," but only against those that
fight against you, and, even then, you can't start the war yourself. So preemptiv ...
Posted: Friday 15 October 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 15: Nephi explains his dad's magic tree (again)
Remember back in chapter 8 when Lehi had a dream about a tree? Yeah, well, it's back again. And this time it's causing all sorts of trouble for Nephi's brothers.
You see, they just couldn't figure it all out. What was it, anyway? And who cares? A c ...
Posted: Tuesday 12 October 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Surah 2:159-189 -- Hiding the Quran, cursing unbelievers, eating pork, retaliating, the death tax, and Ramadan sex
The section begins in the usual way. Allah repeats his threats and curses for non-believers, as he does throughout the Quran. Believe whatever Allah revealed to Muhammad or Allah torture you forever after you die.
Lo! Those who hide the proofs and ...
Posted: Sunday 10 October 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Forget Jesus. The stars died so you could live.
That's just one of the many great quotes from this Lawrence Krauss lecture.
...
Posted: Saturday 09 October 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 14: There are only two churches - the church of God (the Mormons) and the church of the devil (everyone else)
Nephi's angel finally stops talking in this chapter. But he saved his best stuff for last.
Once again it's important to keep in mind the historical context of the angel's revelations to Nephi. This was 600 BCE, before most of the books in the Hebre ...
Posted: Thursday 23 September 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 13 revisited: Satan founded the Catholic church, God blessed America (and cursed the Native Americans) , and the BoM fixed the Bible
It’s easy to get distracted by the strange words and phrases in the Book of Mormon and thereby miss the even stranger messages that lurk therein. That’s what happened to me the first time I read chapter 13 of 1 Nephi. (And that's why I'm revisin ...
Posted: Saturday 18 September 2010 ( 14 years ago )
Who wins the Bible's Quiverfull prize?
Have you heard of the Quiverfull movement? It's a whacked-out group of fundamentalist Christians who try to have as many kids as they can, because they believe that children show God's favor on the men who father them.
The movement takes its name f ...
Posted: Saturday 28 August 2010 ( 14 years ago )
1 Nephi 12: Those who dwindle in unbelief will become dark, loathsome, filthy, idle, and abominable people
In the last chapter, an angel showed Nephi all the shit his dad saw and much, much more. Nephi saw dad's magic tree, iron rod, large and spacious building, the exceedingly white virgin Mary, Jesus, John the Baptist, the twelve apostles -- pretty muc ...
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