Trivia:

Surah 11

HUD

This is the perfect scripture
Absurdity Contradictions Science Cruelty Injustice Intolerance 11:1-12

1 Alif. Lam. Ra. (This is) a Scripture the revelations whereof are perfected and then expounded. (It cometh) from One Wise, Informed,

2 (Saying): Serve none but Allah. Lo! I am unto you from Him a warner and a bringer of good tidings.

This scripture has been perfected.

3 And (bidding you): Ask pardon of your Lord and turn to Him repentant. He will cause you to enjoy a fair estate until a time appointed. He giveth His bounty unto every bountiful one. But if ye turn away, lo! (then) I fear for you the retribution of an awful Day.

4 Unto Allah is your return, and He is Able to do all things.

If you turn away, I [Muhammad?] fear for you on the awful day.

5 Lo! now they fold up their breasts that they may hide (their thoughts) from Him. At the very moment when they cover themselves with their clothing, Allah knoweth that which they keep hidden and that which they proclaim. Lo! He is Aware of what is in the breasts (of men).

6 And there is not a beast in the earth but the sustenance thereof dependeth on Allah. He knoweth its habitation and its repository. All is in a clear Record.

They fold up their breasts and hide their thoughts from him.

But Allah knows what's in their breasts.

7 And He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days - and His Throne was upon the water - that He might try you, which of you is best in conduct. Yet if thou (O Muhammad) sayest: Lo! ye will be raised again after death! those who disbelieve will surely say: This is naught but mere magic.

Allah created the heavens and the earth in six days. [1]

And his throne was on the water.

8 And if We delay for them the doom until a reckoned time, they will surely say: What withholdeth it? Verily on the day when it cometh unto them, it cannot be averted from them, and that which they derided will surround them.

9 And if we cause man to taste some mercy from Us and afterward withdraw it from him, lo! he is despairing, thankless.

10 And if We cause him to taste grace after some misfortune that had befallen him, he saith: The ills have gone from me. Lo! he is exultant, boastful;

11 Save those who persevere and do good works. Theirs will be forgiveness and a great reward.

If we [Allah] delay the doom, people will say,

What are you waiting for?

But they'll be sorry when it comes.

12 A likely thing, that thou wouldst forsake aught of that which hath been revealed unto thee, and that thy breast should be straitened for it, because they say: Why hath not a treasure been sent down for him, or an angel come with him? Thou art but a warner, and Allah is in charge of all things.

People will say,

Why didn't Allah send down a treasure or an angel?

Write ten surahs like those in the Quran
Absurdity Cruelty Injustice Intolerance 11:13-24

13 Or they say: He hath invented it. Say: Then bring ten surahs, the like thereof, invented, and call on everyone ye can beside Allah, if ye are truthful!

14 And if they answer not your prayer, then know that it is revealed only in the knowledge of Allah; and that there is no God save Him. Will ye then be (of) those who surrender?

15 Whoso desireth the life of the world and its pomp, We shall repay them their deeds herein, and therein they will not be wronged.

He [Muhammad] invented the Quran.

Then say to them,

Then bring ten surahs like those in the Quran. [2]

16 Those are they for whom is naught in the Hereafter save the Fire. (All) that they contrive here is vain and (all) that they are wont to do is fruitless.

Everything that those who burn in the fire do in this life is useless.

17 Is he (to be counted equal with them) who relieth on a clear proof from his Lord, and a witness from Him reciteth it, and before it was the Book of Moses, an example and a mercy? Such believe therein, and whoso disbelieveth therein of the clans, the Fire is his appointed place. So be not thou in doubt concerning it. Lo! it is the Truth from thy Lord; but most of mankind believe not.

Disbelievers will burn in the fire.

(And most people are disbelievers.)

18 Who doeth greater wrong than he who inventeth a lie concerning Allah? Such will be brought before their Lord, and the witnesses will say: These are they who lied concerning their Lord. Now the curse of Allah is upon wrong-doers,

Lying about Allah is the worst thing anyone could ever do.

19 Who debar (men) from the way of Allah and would have it crooked, and who are disbelievers in the Hereafter.

20 Such will not escape in the earth, nor have they any protecting friends beside Allah. For them the torment will be double. They could not bear to hear, and they used not to see.

21 Such are they who have lost their souls, and that which they used to invent hath failed them.

Those who turn people away from Allah and disbelieve in the afterlife will face a double torment.

22 Assuredly in the Hereafter they will be the greatest losers.

23 Lo! those who believe and do good works and humble themselves before their Lord: such are rightful owners of the Garden; they will abide therein.

24 The similitude of the two parties is as the blind and the deaf and the seer and the hearer. Are they equal in similitude? Will ye not then be admonished?

They'll be the biggest losers in the afterlife.

Noah's flood (a new version)
Absurdity Contradictions Cruelty Injustice Intolerance Science 11:25-48

25 And We sent Noah unto his folk (and he said): Lo! I am a plain warner unto you.

26 That ye serve none, save Allah. Lo! I fear for you the retribution of a painful Day.

27 The chieftains of his folk, who disbelieved, said: We see thee but a mortal like us, and we see not that any follow thee save the most abject among us, without reflection. We behold in you no merit above us - nay, we deem you liars.

28 He said: O my people! Bethink you, if I rely on a clear proof from my Lord and there hath come unto me a mercy from His presence, and it hath been made obscure to you, can we compel you to accept it when ye are averse thereto?

29 And O my people! I ask of you no wealth therefor. My reward is the concern only of Allah, and I am not going to thrust away those who believe - Lo! they have to meet their Lord! - but I see you a folk that are ignorant.

30 And, O my people! who would deliver me from Allah if I thrust them away? Will ye not then reflect?

31 I say not unto you: "I have the treasures of Allah" nor "I have knowledge of the Unseen," nor say I: "Lo! I am an angel!" Nor say I unto those whom your eyes scorn that Allah will not give them good - Allah knoweth best what is in their hearts - Lo! then indeed I should be of the wrong-doers.

32 They said: O Noah! Thou hast disputed with us and multiplied disputation with us; now bring upon us that wherewith thou threatenest us, if thou art of the truthful.

33 He said: Only Allah will bring it upon you if He will, and ye can by no means escape.

34 My counsel will not profit you if I were minded to advise you, if Allah's will is to keep you astray. He is your Lord and unto Him ye will be brought back.

35 Or say they (again): He hath invented it? Say: If I have invented it, upon me be my crimes, but I am innocent of (all) that ye commit.

Those who heard Noah preach said to him,

You are only a human like us.

Those who follow you, do so without thinking.

You're no better than us. In fact, you're a liar.

36 And it was inspired in Noah, (saying): No-one of thy folk will believe save him who hath believed already. Be not distressed because of what they do.

37 Build the ship under Our eyes and by Our inspiration, and speak not unto Me on behalf of those who do wrong. Lo! they will be drowned.

It was revaled to Noah,

No one will believe unless they already believe.

Don't worry about it. Just build the ship.

They're all going to drown.

38 And he was building the ship, and every time that chieftains of his people passed him, they made mock of him. He said: Though ye make mock of Us, yet We mock at you even as ye mock;

39 And ye shall know to whom a punishment that will confound him cometh, and upon whom a lasting doom will fall.

As Noah built the ship, people laughed at him.

Noah said to them,

I'm laughing at you while you laugh at me.

A lasting doom will soon fall upon you.

40 (Thus it was) till, when Our commandment came to pass and the oven gushed forth water, We said: Load therein two of every kind, a pair (the male and female), and thy household, save him against whom the word hath gone forth already, and those who believe. And but a few were they who believed with him.

41 And he said: Embark therein! In the name of Allah be its course and its mooring. Lo! my Lord is Forgiving, Merciful.

When the flood came we said to Noah,

Load two of each animal (male and female), along with your family, and any believers.

But only a few believers got on board.

42 And it sailed with them amid waves like mountains, and Noah cried unto his son - and he was standing aloof - O my son! Come ride with us, and be not with the disbelievers.

43 He said: I shall betake me to some mountain that will save me from the water. (Noah) said: This day there is none that saveth from the commandment of Allah save him on whom He hath had mercy. And the wave came in between them, so he was among the drowned.

Noah cried out to his son,

Come ride with us.

Don't be with the disbelievers.

But his son drowned. [3]

44 And it was said: O earth! Swallow thy water and, O sky! be cleared of clouds! And the water was made to subside. And the commandment was fulfilled. And it (the ship) came to rest upon (the mount) Al-Judi and it was said: A far removal for wrongdoing folk!

The ship came to rest on mount Al-Judi. [4]

45 And Noah cried unto his Lord and said: My Lord! Lo! my son is of my household! Surely Thy promise is the truth and Thou are the Most Just of Judges.

Noah said to Allah,

What happened to my son?

46 He said: O Noah! Lo! he is not of thy household; lo! he is of evil conduct, so ask not of Me that whereof thou hast no knowledge. I admonish thee lest thou be among the ignorant.

47 He said: My Lord! Lo! in Thee do I seek refuge (from the sin) that I should ask of Thee that whereof I have no knowledge. Unless Thou forgive me and have mercy on me I shall be among the lost.

Allah answered him,

He was evil, so don't ask me about him.

Or you'll be among the ignorant.

Noah said,

OK, sorry I shouldn't have asked.

48 It was said (unto him): O Noah! Go thou down (from the mountain) with peace from Us and blessings upon thee and some nations (that will spring) from those with thee. (There will be other) nations unto whom We shall give enjoyment a long while and then a painful doom from Us will overtake them.

Allah said to Noah,

Go down from the mountain.

I'll be sending a painful doom on other nations later.