Matthew

  • Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30

  • "There be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." Dangerous words from a guy who recommends cutting of body parts if they cause you to sin (Mt 5:29-30, 18:8-9; Mk 9:43-48). It might make someone castrate himself so that he could be one of the 144,000 male virgins, who alone will make it to heaven (Rev 14:3-4). 19:12

  • There are no marriages in heaven. (Married people either don't go to heaven or they get divorced after arriving there. Marriages aren't made in heaven; they die there.) 22:23-30

  • The kingdom of heaven like ten virgins who went to meet their bridegroom. Five had oil for their lamps and five didn't. When the bridegroom was ready for them, only the five well-oiled virgins got to have sex with him on their wedding night. The bridegroom shunned the other five, saying "Get lost. I don't even know you." The moral to the story is this: watch out, you never know when (or with whom) Jesus will come.25:1-13

    Mark

  • There is no sex or marriage in heaven. 12:18-25

  • One of the followers of Jesus was a young, nearly naked man who dropped his linen cloth and "fled from them naked" when the priests came to arrest Jesus. 14:51-52

    Luke

  • Zacharias and Elizabeth were both getting old, too old to have kids. But Zach prayed, so an angel appeared to tell him that God would take care of things for him. God would somehow get Liz pregnant and she'd have a son named John, who would be filled with the Holy Ghost from the moment God, the angel, the Holy Ghost, or Zach (or maybe all of them working together) got his mom pregnant. 1:7-15

  • Gabriel tells Mary that the Holy Ghost will come upon her and she'll be covered by the power of God, so "the holy thing" that she delivers will be the Son of God. 1:35

    "Which was the son of Phares, which was the son of Juda."
    Judah "went in unto" his daughter-in-law, Tamar, who was disguised as a prostitute. She conceived and bore Pharez, an ancestor of Jesus. (Gen 38:27-29) It's a good thing it was more than ten generations ago. Otherwise Jesus could not "enter into the congregation of the Lord." (Dt.23:2) 3:33

    John

    Acts

    Romans

  • Paul explains that "the natural use" of women is to act as sexual objects for the pleasure of men. 1:27

    1 Corinthians

  • Paul, judging from rumors alone, complains that there are fornicators among his followers in Corinth; he is even worried that some have had sex with their fathers' wives. He says that those who have done these things should be "delivered to Satan for the destruction of the flesh" so that their soul can be saved. 5:1-5

  • Paul asks if he should "take the members of Christ, and make them members of an harlot?" He further asks, "Know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body?" 6:15-16

  • Husbands and wives should have sex whenever and however their spouse wants. 7:3

  • Paul wishes that men and woman abstain from sex, but tells them to "come together" to avoid being tempted by Satan. 7:5

  • Paul, like Jesus and the other New Testament writers, expects the end to come soon. "The time is short." So there's no time for sex or marriage, since the world will be ending soon. 7:29

    2 Corinthians

    Galatians

  • "I would they were even cut off which trouble you." Gosh, that doesn't sound very nice. But I wonder what Paul meant by "cut off". The New Revised Standard Version translates this verse as: "I wish those who unsettle you would castrate themselves!" 5:12

    Ephesians

    Philippians

    Colossians

    1 Thessalonians

  • Every man should know how to possess his penis or his wife (depending on the translation) in a holy way. 4:4

    2 Thessalonians

    1 Timothy

    2 Timothy

    Titus

    Philemon

    Hebrews

    James

    1 Peter

    2 Peter

    1 John

    2 John

    3 John

    Jude

  • The angels that Jude refers to here are the "sons of God" that had sex with human females to produce a race of giants. (See Gen.6:4) 6

    Revelation

  • Jezebel (whom God had thrown off a wall, trampled by horses, and eaten by dogs (2 Kg 9:33-37) is further reviled by John, saying "that woman Jezebel" taught and seduced God's "servants to commit fornication." 2:20

  • Jesus will "cast her [Jezebel] into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her." 2:22

  • Drinking the wine of fornication. 14:8

  • The great whore has "committed fornication" with all the kings on earth. Everyone else is "drunk with the wine of her fornication." She sits on a scarlet colored beast with the usual 7 heads and 10 horns. She carries a cup full of the "filthiness of her abominations" and has a big sign on her forehead saying: "Mystery, Babylon the Great, the Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth." You'll know her when you see her. 17:1-5

  • "All nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her." 18:3

  • God will send plagues, death, and famine on Babylon, and the kings "who have committed fornication with her" will be sad to see her burn. 18:8-9

  • The "great whore" corrupted the earth with her fornication. 19:2