The Genesis 1 creation account conflicts with the order of events that are known to science. In
Genesis, the earth is created before light and stars, birds and whales before reptiles and insects,
and flowering plants before any animals. The order of events known from science is just the
God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night, on the first day.
Yet he didn't make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day
(1:14-19). And how could there be "the evening and the morning" on the
first day if there was no sun to mark them? 1:3-5
God spends one-sixth of his entire creative effort (the second day)
working on a solid firmament. This strange structure, which God calls heaven, is
intended to separate the higher waters from the lower waters. 1:6-8
Plants are made on the third day before there was a sun to drive their photosynthetic
processes (1:14-19). 1:11
God lets "the earth bring forth" the plants, rather than creating them directly.
Maybe Genesis is not so anti-evolution after all. 1:11
In an apparent endorsement of astrology, God places the sun, moon, and stars in the firmament so that they can be used
"for signs". This, of course, is exactly what astrologers do: read "the signs" in the Zodiac in an effort to predict what
will happen on Earth. 1:14
God makes two lights: "the greater light [the sun] to rule the day, and the lesser light [the moon] to rule the night." But
the moon is not a light, but only reflects light from the sun. And why, if God made the moon to "rule the night", does it spend
half of its time moving through the daytime sky? 1:16
"He made the stars also." God spends a day making light (before making the stars) and separating light
from darkness; then, at the end of a hard day's work, and almost as an afterthought, he makes
the trillions of stars. 1:16
"And God set them [the stars] in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the
In verse 11, God "let the earth bring forth" the plants. Now he has the earth "bring forth" the animals as well. So maybe
the creationists have it all wrong. Maybe God created livings things through the process of evolution.
God gave humans dominion over every other living thing on earth. 1:26
God commands us to "be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have
dominion over ... every living thing that moveth upon the earth." 1:28
"I have given you every herb ... and every tree ... for meat."
Since many plants have evolved poisons to protect against animals that would like to eat them, God's advice is more than a little reckless.
Would you tell your children to go out in the garden and eat whatever plants they encounter? Of course not. But then, you are much nicer
and smarter than God. 1:29
All animals were originally herbivores. Tapeworms, vampire bats,
mosquitoes, and barracudas -- all were strict vegetarians, as they were created
by God. 1:30
"God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good." He purposefully designed a system
that ensures the suffering and death of all his creatures, parasite and host, predator and prey. 1:31
In Genesis 1 the entire creation takes 6 days, but the
universe is at least 12 billion years old, with new stars constantly being formed. 1:31
Humans were not created instantaneously from dust and breath, but
evolved over millions of years from simpler life forms. 2:7
After making the animals, God has
Adam name them all. The naming of several million species must have kept Adam busy for a
God fashions a woman out of one of Adam's ribs.
Because of this story, it was commonly believed (and sometimes it is still said today) that males have one less
rib than females. When Vesalius showed in 1543 that the number of ribs was the same in males and females, it created a storm
of controversy. 2:19
God curses the serpent. From now on the serpent will crawl on his belly and eat dust.
One wonders how he got around before -- by hopping on his tail, perhaps? But snakes don't
eat dust, do they? 3:14
Because Adam listened to Eve, God cursed the ground and causes thorns and thistles to grow. Before this,
according to the (false) Genesis story, plants had no natural defenses. The rose had no thorn, cacti were spineless, holly
leaves were smooth, and the nettle had no sting. Foxgloves, oleander, and
milkweeds were all perfectly safe to eat. 3:17-18
When Lamech was born, nine generations were alive at once. Adam, Seth, Enos, Cainan, Mahalaleel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, and Lamech were all alive at
the time of Lamech's birth. Adam lived to see his great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson. 5:25
"There were giants in the earth in those days."6:4
Noah is told to make an ark that is 450 feet long. 6:14-15
Whether by twos or by sevens, Noah takes male and female representatives from each
species of "every thing that creepeth upon the earth." 7:8
God opens the "windows of heaven." He does this every time it rains.
All of the animals boarded the ark "in the selfsame day." 7:13-14
The flood covered the highest mountain tops (Mount Everest?) with fifteen cubits to
"The windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained." This
happens whenever it stops raining. 8:2
Noah sends a dove out to see if there was any dry land. But the dove returns without
finding any. Then, just seven days later, the dove goes out again and returns with an olive leaf.
But how could an olive tree survive the flood? And if any seeds happened to survive, they
certainly wouldn't germinate and grow leaves within a seven day period.
When the animals left the ark, what would they have eaten? There would have been no
plants after the ground had been submerged for nearly a year. What would the carnivores have
eaten? Whatever prey they ate would have gone extinct. And how did the New World
primates or the Australian marsupials find their way back after the flood
"And the Lord smelled a sweet savor."
Noah kills the "clean beasts" and burns their dead bodies for God. According to
7:8 this would have caused the extinction of all "clean" animals since only two of each were
taken onto the ark. 8:20-21
"Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth." Although this would have been good advice for the mythical Noah, it
is deadly advice for humankind as a whole. Overpopulation is one of our greatest problems, yet there is nothing in the bible to address it.
According to this verse, all animals fear humans. Although it is true that many do, it is also
true that some do not. Sharks and grizzly bears, for example, are generally much
less afraid of us than we are of them. 9:2
"Into your hand are they (the animals) delivered."
God gave the animals to humans, and they can do whatever
they please with them. This verse has been used by bible believers to justify all kinds of cruelty to
animals and environmental destruction. 9:2
God is rightly filled with remorse for having killed his creatures. He even puts the
rainbow in the sky to remind himself of his promise to the animals not
to do it again. But rainbows are caused by the nature of light, the refractive index of water, and the shape of
raindrops. There were rainbows billions of years before humans existed.
Some creationists believe that this
verse refers to continental drift, which, they say, began to occur during the days of Pelag (which means "division"), about 100 or so years after the
flood. But many other creationists disagree.
"The whole earth was of one language." But this could not be true, since by this time (around 2400 BCE)
there were already many languages, each unintelligible to the others. 11:1, 6
"Now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do."
God worries that people could build a tower high enough to reach him (them?) in heaven, and that by
so doing they will become omnipotent. 11:4-6
According to the Tower of Babel story, the many human languages were created
instantaneously by God. But actually the various languages evolved gradually over long periods of
The ridiculously long lives of the patriarchs. 11:10-32
"Abram ... pursued them unto Dan."
This is an obvious anachronism, since the city of Dan was not named "Dan" until the time of the Judges
(see Judges 18:29). In fact, Dan (for whom the city
was named) was not even born yet (see Genesis 30:6). 14:14
"And they returned to the land of the Philistines."
But the Philistines didn't arrive in the region of Canaan until around 1200 BCE --
800 years after Abraham's supposed migration from Ur. 21:32,
26:1, 8, 15, 18
Laban learns "by experience" that God has blessed him for Jacob's sake. "By experience"
means "by divination", at least that is how
most other versions translate this verse.
Jacob displays his (and God's) knowledge of biology by having goats copulate while
looking at streaked rods. The result is streaked baby goats. 30:37-39
The birth story of Moses is suspiciously similar to that of the birth of Sargon, an
Akkadian monarch from the 3rd millennium BCE.
(BBC: The tale of the
It took the Israelites 40 years to travel from Egypt to Canaan, yet such a journey, even at that time,
would have taken no more than ten days. 16:35
The Israelite population went from 70 (or 75) to several million in a few hundred years.
1:5,7, 12:37, 38:26
Why are some people born with disabilities? Because God deliberately makes them that way. 4:11
God killed Egyptians and their livestock by smashing them with huge hailstones mixed with fire. 9:24
God led the Israelites through the land of the Philistines, hundreds of years before the Philistines
were established in Canaan. 13:17
If you do what God says, he won't send his diseases on you (like he did to the Egyptians).
But otherwise.... 15:26
"The manna referred to in the Bible, in Exodus 16:14, seems to have been
the dried excrement of Trabutina mannipara, a scale insect that feeds
on tamarisk trees." Benjamin B. Normark, The
Sex Lives of Scales, Natural History, Sept. 2004. 16:14-15
A magical trumpet played loud while God came down in smoke, fire, and earthquakes onto Mt. Sinai. 19:16-18
"In six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them."
Believers often say that the "days" of creation should be taken allegorically, but this verse is quite clear. God created the
universe in six 24 hour days. 20:11
Be sure to watch out for those "other flying creeping things which have four feet." (I wish
God wouldn't get so technical!) I guess he must mean four-legged insects. You'd think that since
God made the insects, and so many of them (at least several million species), that he would know
how many legs they have! 11:23
God's law for lepers: Get two birds. Kill one. Dip the live bird in the blood of the
dead one. Sprinkle the blood on the leper seven times, and then let the blood-soaked bird fly off.
Next find a lamb and kill it. Wipe some of its blood on the patient's right ear, thumb, and big toe.
Sprinkle seven times with oil and wipe some of the oil on his right ear, thumb and big toe.
Repeat. Finally kill a couple doves and offer one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt
The Israelite population went from seventy (Ex.1:5) to several million (over 600,000 adult males) in just a
few generations! 1:45-46
When the tabernacle was set up, it was covered by a cloud during the day and by fire all night. 9:15
God led the Israelites from one camp to the other with a cloud. When the cloud stopped and rested someplace, the Israelites pitched their
tents. When the cloud started moving again, the Israelites followed it. 9:16-23
God sends quails to feed his people until they were "two cubits [about a meter] high upon the face of the earth." Taking
the "face of the earth" to be a circle with a radius of say 30 kilometers (an approximate day's journey), this would amount to 3
trillion (3x1012) liters of quails. At 2 quails per liter, this would provide a couple million quails for each of several million
God strikes Miriam with leprosy. (In the Bible, leprosy is caused by the wrath of God or the malice of Satan.
"They ... cut down ... a branch with one cluster of grapes, and they bare it between two upon a staff."
A single cluster of grapes was so heavy that it took two men to carry it. I guess that's what you'd expect, though,
since they were in the land of giants. (See verses 32-33.) 13:23
"And there we saw the giants
... And we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their
sight." This statement may have been figurative, hyperbole, typical biblical
exaggeration, or an actual description of the sons of Anak, in which case they must have been
about 100 meters tall. These are the same giants (the Nephilium) that resulted
when the "sons of God" mated with "the daughters of men in
Gen.6:4. Of course these superhuman god-men should have been
destroyed in the flood. So what are they doing still alive? 13:33
God's cure for snakebite: a brass serpent on a pole. 21:8
God has "the strength of a unicorn." Oh heck, I bet he's even stronger than a unicorn.
"He made them wander in the wilderness forty years."
It took the Israelites 40 years to travel from Egypt to Canaan, yet such a journey, even at that time, would have taken no more than a few weeks.
"The people is greater and taller than we ... we have seen the sons of the Anakims there."
More giants in the promised land. 1:28
It took the Israelites 40 years to travel from Egypt to Canaan, yet such a journey, even at that time,
would have taken no more a few weeks. 2:7, 8:2,
"A land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time."
(They must have been much more common back then.) 2:10-11,
Og, the king of the giants, was a tall man, even by NBA standards. His bed measured 9 by 4 cubits (13.5 feet long and
6 feet wide). 3:11
God promises to cast out seven nations including the Amorites, Canaanites, and the Jebusites. But he was unable to
fulfill his promise. These nations were "greater and mightier" than the Israelites, who according to
Ex.12:37 and Num.1:45-46 already had numbered
several million. So the region, according to the bible, must have had a population of
more than twenty million! 7:1
"A people great and tall, the children of the Anakims."
More giants! 9:2
"When I was gone up into the mount to receive the tables of stone ... I abode in the mount forty days and forty nights, I neither did eat bread nor drink water." 9:9
This verse mistakenly says that the hare chews its cud. 14:7-8
To the biblical God, a bat is just an another unclean bird. 14:11, 18
"And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall
be iron." 28:23
"The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed."
"An eagle ... beareth them on her wings."
Do eagles carry their young on their wings? I know of no evidence (except for the single anecdote
provided here) that they do.
"Their wine is the poison of dragons." I wonder what genus and species the bible is referring to when it mentions
Joseph's "horns are like the horns of a unicorn." 33:17
It took the Israelites 40 years to travel from Egypt to Canaan, yet such a journey, even at that time,
would have taken no more than ten days. 5:6
Joshua says that those who try to rebuild
Jericho will be accursed by God, and will have to sacrifice both their oldest
and their youngest sons in its construction. Well, Jericho still exists today,
and is often considered to be the world's oldest, continuously occupied city. 6:26
This verse says that Ai was never again occupied after it was destroyed by Joshua. But Nehemiah (7:32) lists it among the cities of Israel at the
time of the Babylonian captivity. 8:28
In a divine type of daylight savings time, God makes the sun stand still so that Joshua can get all his killing done
before dark. 10:12-13
"And the coast of Og king of Bashan,
which as of the remnant of the giants...." 12:4, 18:6
"The stars in their courses fought against Sisera." Unless astrology is true, how can the
stars affect the outcome of a battle? 5:20
"As the sun ... goeth forth in his might." The sun, according to the bible, goes around the earth.
Samson rips up a young lion when "the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him." Later, when going to "take"
his Philistine wife he notices a swarm of bees and honey in the lion's carcass (a Divine miracle -- or just rotting flesh, flies,
and maggots?). 14:5-8
There ... was a man of great stature, that had on every hand six fingers, and on every foot six toes,
four and twenty in number; and he also was born to the giant." 21:20
"These four were born to the giant in Gath." 21:22
"The earth shook and trembled; the foundations of heaven moved and shook, because he was wroth." 22:8
"The foundations of the world were discovered ... at the blast of the breath of his nostrils." 22:16
How many soldiers did Israel have? This verse says that Judah and Israel had a total of 1,300,000 fighting men
(1 Chr.21:5 says 1,570,000) in this battle. Of course, this is a ridiculously high number for a battle between two tribal
armies in 1000 BCE. (The United States had about 1.37 million active duty soldiers in 2001.) 24:9
When Solomon was annointed king the people sang and shouted so loudly that it caused an earthquake! 1:39-40
This verse implies that the value of π is 3. (The actual value is
approximately 3.14159.) 7:23
God creates droughts by causing "heaven to shut up" as a punishment for sin.
"And his hand, which he put forth against him, dried up ... And the man of God besought the LORD, and the king's
hand was restored him again."
Ever the playful spirit, God withers, and then restores, the hand of king Jeroboam. 13:4-6
After killing the "man of God" for God, the lion hung around with the ass and the carcass on the side of the road for a few days.
God passes by and causes a great wind, earthquake, fire, and a little voice. (God was in the little voice.) 19:11-12
Lehi prayed and pillar of fire appeared out of nowhere on a rock. 1:6
God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head. 2:23-24
Elisha restores the life of a dead child, but only after laying on him
a couple of times, putting his mouth on the child's mouth, his eyes on the child's eyes, and
his hands on the child's hands. Finally, the child responds by sneezing seven
Was this a miraculous healing or artificial respiration? 4:32-35
Elisha cures a leper, but only after the leper
dips himself seven times in the Jordan. 5:14
Elisha not only can cure leprosy, he can also dish it out. Here he makes his servant (Gehazi) and all his descendants
lepers forever. 5:27
Elisha makes an iron ax head swim. Neat trick, not even Jesus did that one!
"Elisha ... telleth the king of Israel the words that thou speakest in thy bedchamber."
Elisha is clairaudient (acquires psychic knowledge
by auditory means). 6:12
A dead body is brought to life when it accidentally touches the bones of Elisha.
Take a lump of figs. And they took and laid it on the
boil, and he recovered. 20:7
Isaiah, with a little help from God, makes the sun move backwards ten degrees. Now that's quite a trick. All at
once, the earth stopped spinning and then reversed its direction of rotation. Or maybe the sun traveled around the
earth in those days! 20:11
Some creationists believe that this verse (and Gen.10:25) refers to
continental drift, which, they say, began to occur during the days of Pelag (which means "division"),
about 100 or so years after the flood. 1:19
"The earth ... shall be stable, that it be not moved." It doesn't spin on its axis or
travel about the sun. 16:30
According to this verse David's army had 1,100,000 men from Israel and 470,000 men from Judah,
Of course, this numbers is ridiculously high for a battle between two tribal armies in 1000 BCE.
(The United States had about 1.37
million active duty soldiers in 2001.) 21:5
David provides Solomon with a fantastically large amount of gold and
silver with which to build the temple: 100,000 talents of gold and 1,000,000 talents of silver. Since a
talent was about 60 pounds, this would be about 3,000 tons of gold and 30,000 tons of silver.
King David collects ten thousand drams (or
darics) for the construction of the temple in Jerusalem. This is especially interesting since darics
were coins named after King Darius I who lived some five hundred years after David.
As usual, the reported amounts of gold, silver, and iron are grossly exaggerated. (5000 talents
of gold, for example, would be about 150,000 kilograms, which would be worth about 4.2 billion US dollars in today's market.)
God spread out the sky, which is a solid structure, hard and strong like a mirror. 37:18
The earth is set on foundations and it does not move. 38:4-6
"That it might take hold of the ends of the earth, that the wicked might be
shaken out of it."
God could (if he wanted to) pick up the earth by its ends and shake all the wicked people off of it. 38:13
God has snow and hail stored up to use later in time of trouble and war. 38:22
"Out of whose womb came the ice?"
Gosh, I don't know. Was it Glinda, the Good Witch of the North? 38:29
"Wilt thou hunt the prey for the lion?"
God seems pleased to have created prey for lions and ravens to eat. 38:39-41
"Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee?" The unicorn referred to here is probably not the single-horned mythical creature, but rather
a wild ox that was mistranslated in the KJV. 39:9-10
are not cruel and stupid birds who abandon their eggs to die after laying them, as these verses
imply. They are, in fact, careful and attentive parents. The male scoops out a hollow for the eggs,
which are incubated by the female during the day and the male at night. After the eggs are hatched,
they are cared for by the mother for over a month, at which time the chicks can keep up with running
The bible is wrong about ostriches being cruel and inattentive parents
(39:13-16). But if they were, whose fault would it be? Why would God deprive
them of the tools that are needed to do the job right? 39:17
"The eagle ... seeketh the prey.... Her young ones suck up blood."
God is pleased with the way that predators kill and devour their prey. 39:27-30
Bible believers have identified the behemoth as a hippopotamus, dinosaur, wildebeest, or
crocodile. But my favorite is the way these verses are
by Stephen Mitchell: "Look now: the Beast that I
made: he eats grass like a bull. Look: the power in his thighs, the pulsing
sinews of his belly. His penis stiffens like a pine; his testicles bulge with
"Canst thou draw out leviathan with an hook? or his tongue with a cord?" 41:1
"His [the leviathan's] teeth are terrible round about."
God has equipped predators with teeth that tear the flesh of their prey. 41:14
"I know all the fowls of the mountains: and the wild beasts of the field
are mine. ... The world is mine, and the fulness thereof."
God takes credit for the entire creation. Preadators, prey, parasite, and host: God purposefully
designed them all. 50:11-12
According to the psalmist, snails melt. But they don't, of course, they simply leave a slimy trail as they move
<"The earth shook, the heavens also dropped at the presence of God: even
Sinai itself was moved at the presence of God." 68:8
"I was pricked in my reins."
("Reins" means kidneys in the Bible.) 73:21
God is so strong that he can break the head of dragons and of leviathan.
"Thou has set all the borders of the earth"
A spherical earth has no borders. 74:17
"The earth trembled and shook."
Thunder, lightning, and earthquakes are the voice of God. 77:18
"He rained flesh also upon them as dust, and feathered fowls like as the sand of the sea."
See Numbers 11:20-32, where God sends quails to feed the Israelites until it literally came out their
Another reference to "the foundations of the earth", implying that the earth is fixed and
does not move. 82:5
"I will make mention of Rahab"
Rahab is a sea-demon or dragon from ancient Jewish folklore. 87:4
"Thou hast broken Rahab [the sea monster] in pieces." 89:10
"The world also is established, that it cannot be moved." 93:1
"The world also shall be established that it shall not be moved." 96:10
"The Lord ... who healeth all thy diseases." God heals all diseases. Medical science is
"God ... who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain"
(The earth is stationary and does not orbit the sun.) 104:5
"The waters stood above the mountains."
Noah's flood covered the highest mountains, just like it says in Genesis 7:20. 104:6-7
"The young lions roar
after their prey, and seek their meat from God."
God gives the lions their meat. The cruelty and brutality of nature are all part of God's plan.
God is offended by those who make things with their hands or invent things with their minds.
"The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works." Then why do nearly
all animals die painful deaths from starvation, predation, or disease long before they reach adulthood?
God "satisfiest the desire of every living thing." But in nature few needs are met
and few desires are satisfied. Life is short, hard, cruel, and painful for nearly every living
"He calleth them all by their names."
God knows how many stars there are and knows them all by name. That's pretty impressive since there are 100 billion or so gallaxies,
each containing about 100 billion stars. 147:7
"The sun also ariseth"
Although this verse is interpreted figuratively today, it was taken literally by virtually all
Christians until the Copernican revolution, and was used by the Church to condemn Galileo for
teaching the heliocentric heresy. 1:5
"The place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again."
Good description of the water cycle. 1:7
"He hath made every thing beautiful."
Everything is beautiful in its own way. Parasitic worms, cancer cells, bubonic plague. You just have to look at it from God's eyes.
"No man can find out the work that God maketh."
Science is impossible. We can learn nothing at all about the natural world. 3:11
"That which is far off, and exceeding deep, who can find it out?"
Who can find out? We can by using science! The earth, ocean, solar system, galaxy, and universe -- nothing is too deep or far away for
science to discover and explore. 7:24
"Then I beheld all the work of God, that a man cannot find out the work
that is done under the sun: because though a man labour to seek it out, yet
he shall not find it; yea farther; though a wise man think to know it, yet
shall he not be able to find it."
Oh, I think science has done a pretty good job of finding things out over the last four centuries or so. 8:16
"When he ariseth to shake terribly the earth."
(Earthquakes happen when God gets angry.) 2:19, 21
"He has stretched forth his hand against them ... and the hills did tremble." (God makes earthquakes when he gets angry.)
"He [God] ... will hiss unto them from the end of the earth."
(The earth is flat and has an end.) 5:26
"Neither doth his heart think so"
In the Bible, people think with their hearts not their heads. 10:7
"The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb...." I wonder what will become of the spiders.
Will they be more friendly toward flies? And will the parasitic wasps find another way to feed their larvae? Or will they
continue to feed off the living bodies of caterpillars? 11:6,
"And the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice' den." A cockatrice
is a serpent, hatched from a cock's egg, that can kill with a glance. They are rare nowadays.
God will gather up the people of Judea "from the four corners of the earth." In the Bible's view, the earth is flat with four
The moon produces its own light and the earth does not move (except
when God gets angry and shakes the heavens). 13:10-13
When God gets really angry, he causes earthquakes. 13:13
Dragons will live in Babylonian palaces and satyrs will dance there.
"Out of the serpent's root shall come forth a cockatrice, and his fruit shall be a fiery flying serpent."
What ever happened to these fascinating biblical creatures? 14:29
The river of Egypt (identified as the Nile in RSV) shall dry up. This has never occurred. 19:5
God will turn the earth upside down, knock it off of its foundations, and then shake and bake it until
it "reels to and fro like a drunkard." 24:1, 18-20
"The foundations of the earth do shake ... The earth shall reel to and fro like a drunkard."
(Earthquakes are all a part of God's wondrous plan.) 24:18-20
God will punish the leviathan ("that crooked serpent") with his own sword and will kill the sea dragon.
Natural disasters (earthquakes, storms, fires, tsunamis) are caused by, and are a sign
of, God's wrath. 29:7
Among the many strange creatures mentioned in the Bible that no longer seem to exist is the "fiery flying serpent."
"The light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun shall be
sevenfold." Well, this is one prophecy that will never come true. Since the moon has no light of its own, but only
reflects that of the sun, it could never shine like the sun. And the sun will not, at least not while there are humans to see
it, shine 7 times as bright as it does now. 30:26
"The LORD shall cause his glorious voice to be heard, and shall shew
the lighting down of his armwith the indignation of his anger, and with
the flame of a devouring fire, with scattering, and tempest, and hailstones." 30:30
"The host of heaven shall be dissolved ... and ... shall fall down."
The stars will dissolve and fall from the sky. 34:4
"And the unicorns shall come down with them." 34:7
Dragons and satyrs may not seem real to you, but they did to the author of these verses.
God makes the sun move backwards 10 degrees. Now that's a neat trick! 38:8
The earth is a flat disc that God looks down upon from his throne in
Dragons and owls will thank God for irrigation. 43:20
"My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure."
Unlike the god of the process theologians, the God of Isaiah is in full control of his creation;
he has pre-ordained everything. 46:10-11
God set the earth on foundations so it doesn't move, his hand is as big as the universe,
and the stars stand up straight when he calls them. 48:13
God cut Rahab (the sea
monster) to pieces, wounded the dragon, and dried up the sea. 51:9-10
Bad people hatch poisonous cockatrice eggs. Whoever eats the eggs will die, and
when the eggs are crushed a viper hatches out of them. 59:5
"Neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee." Of course the moon doesn't give off
light, but only reflects the light from the sun. 60:19
"The showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain."
Droughts are punishments from God. 3:3
"I will send serpents,
cockatrices among you, which will not be charmed, and they shall bite you."
A cockatrice is a serpent, hatched from a
cock's egg, that can kill with a glance. They are rare nowadays. 8:17
When God gets angry, the earth trembles. (That's what causes earthquakes.)
The earth is set on foundations and does not move. 31:37
Jeremiah predicts that humans will never again live in Hazor, but will be replaced by dragons.
But people still live there and dragons have never been seen. 49:33
"Babylon shall become heaps, a dwellingplace for dragons, an astonishment, and an
hissing, without an inhabitant. They shall roar together like lions: they shall yell as lions' whelps." 51:37
"The sea is come up upon Babylon: she is covered with the multitude of the
waves thereof." 51:42
"I will make drunk her princes, and her wise men, her captains, and her
rulers, and her mighty men: and they shall sleep a perpetual sleep, and not
wake, saith the King, whose name is the LORD of hosts."
God will force the Babylonians to get so drunk that they die from alcohol poisoning. 51:57
are not cruel and inattentive
parents, as this verse implies. They are, in fact, careful and
attentive parents. The male scoops out a hollow for the eggs, which are incubated by the female during the day
and the male at night. After the eggs are hatched, they are
cared for by the mother for over a month, at which time the chicks can keep up with running adults.
"The firmament ... the terrible crystal, stretched
forth over their heads above." 1:22
Ezekiel proclaims that the world (which is flat and has four corners) is ending.
The firmament is over the heads of the cherubim.
God "will cover the sun with a cloud, and the moon shall not give her light." To Ezekiel, the
sun is just a little light that can be covered with a cloud, and the moon produces its own
God will get so angry that his fury will come up in his face so that even the fish, birds, beasts, and bugs will shake when they see him.
God will throw a tantrum, toppling every wall and mountain. 38:18-20