Interpretations of the Quran

    1: The Opening: (Al-Fatihah)

  1. Who is the author of the Quran? 1:1-7

  2. By using the phrase, "Lord of the Worlds," is the Quran acknowledging the existence of other solar systems, planets, and earth-like worlds? 1:2

  3. "Show us the straight path, The path of those whom Thou hast favoured; Not the (path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray."
    Muslims generally interpret "those whom Allah has favored," "those who earn Allah's anger," and "those who go astray" as Muslims, Jews, and Christians, respectively. 1:6-7

    2: The Cow: (Al-Madinah)

  4. Muhammad said that Satan runs away from any house in which this surah is recited. 2:1-286
  5. "Alif. Lam. Mim."
    Many surahs start with three Arabic letters. No one knows why. But I have a theory. The mysterious letters (Alif. Lam. Mim.) are the Quranic equivalent of WTF. 2:1
  6. Nothing in the Quran, not a singe verse, is wrong -- except for the verses that are wrong, that is. And Allah will replace them later with better verses. This is called the doctrine of abrogation. 2:106
  7. Muslims can't eat carrion, pork, blood, or anything sacrificed to another god. 2:173
  8. The Republicans should like this verse. It forbids what Tea Baggers they like to call the "death tax." So when a rich Muslim dies, he must leave all of his wealth to his family. 2:180
  9. "Be not cast by your own hands to ruin."
    Some Muslims interpret this to forbid suicide bombings. 2:195
  10. "Beautified is the life of the world for those who disbelieve; they make a jest of the believers."
    Yes life is beautiful to us unbelievers and we like to laugh at believers! 2:212
  11. Is it OK to drink alcohol? 2:219

    4: Women (Al-Nisa')

  12. Is it OK to drink alcohol? 4:43

    5: The Table Spread (Al-Ma'ida)

  13. "Go into the holy land which Allah hath ordained for you."
    Since this verse says that Allah gave Jews "the holy land," why are most Muslims opposed to the state of Israel today? 5:21
  14. "The party of Allah, they are the victorious."
    Hezbollah displays this verse along with an assaut rifle on its flag. 5:56
  15. Drinking alcohol and gambling are not permitted. They are tools of Satan to keep believers from proper worship. 5:90-91

    6: Al An'am (Al An'am)

  16. "When Abraham said unto his father Azar"
    Who was Abraham's father? Azar or Terah (Genesis 11:26)? Which is right, the Bible or the Quran? 6:74

  17. Stay away from those who divide religion into different sects? Like the Sunnis and Shi'ites perhaps? 6:159

    7: The Heights (Al-Ar'af)

  18. According to the Sunnah, Muhammed said that Adam was 60 cubits tall. 7:69

    16: The Bee (Al-Nahl)

  19. Sometimes Allah replaces one revelation with another new and better one. This is called the theory of abrogation. 16:101

    21: The Prophets (Al-Anbiya)

  20. These verses are sometimes interpreted to mean that images of Allah, Muhammad, and the other prophets are forbidden. 21:52-54

    38: Sad

  21. What did Allah tell Job to smite with the branch? See here for an interesting interpretation of this verse. 38:44

    42: Counsel (Ash-Shura)

  22. This verse is sometimes interpreted to mean that images of Allah, Muhammad, and the other prophets are forbidden. 42:11

    44: Smoke (Al-Dukhan)

  23. "We shall wed them unto fair ones with wide, lovely eyes."
    Allah will reward faithful Muslims after they die with "fair ones with wide, lovely eyes" or with white raisins. 44:54

    51: The Winnowing Winds (Adh-Dhariyut)

  24. The words, "I am a plain warner unto you from him," could not have been spoken by Allah. So how is Allah the author of the Quran? 51:50

    52: The Mount (At-Tur)

  25. Allah will reward faithful Muslims after they die with "fair ones with wide, lovely eyes". 52:20

    56: The Event (Al-Waqiah)

  26. "A noble Quran ... which none toucheth save the purified."

    This is the basis of the rules for handling the Quran. (Menstruating women and those who haven't washed after sex, for example, are not to touch it. It's not supposed to be placed beneath any other book, taken into the bathroom, etc.) 57:77-79

  27. 74: The Cloaked One (Al-Mudaththir)

  28. "Above it are nineteen." 74:30

    Nineteen is a special number in Islam.