Although Joseph Smith said that the Book of Abraham was written by Abraham "in his own hand, upon papyrus," there is no mention of Abraham's name
anywhere in the papyri or the facscimiles that Joseph Smith claimed to interpret. 1:1
In the land of the Chaldeans"
The word "Chaldeans" is an anachronism. 1:1, 8, 13, 14,
20, 23, 29, 30
"The first man, who is Adam."
I guess this means that Mormons can't believe in human evolution. (Who would have thought that Abraham would have known about Adam?)
The term "Pharaoh" is an anacronism (a term that would not have been used at the time of Abraham). 6-9,
13, 17, 20, 25-27
"The offering unto these strange gods, men, women, and children"
There is no evidence for human sacrifice among the Egyptians of 2000 BCE. 1:8
"Now the god of Shagreel was the sun."
No, the Ra was the Egyptian sun god. 1:9
"I will refer you to the representation at the commencement of this record."
The facsimile that Joseph Smith (er, Abraham -- excuse me!) refers to does not show a man (supposedly Abraham) being sacrificed, but rather an Egyptian priest
being embalmed. 1:12
"Egyptus, which in the Chaldean signifies Egypt, which signifies that which is forbidden."
"Egyptus" is a Greek, not a Chaldean word, and it doesn't mean "forbidden" in any language. It wasn't used at until 1375 BCE, well after the time that Abraham was supposed to have
"God preserved ... a knowledge of the beginning of the creation, and also of the planets, and of the stars"
Oh boy! Abraham is going to tell us about astronomy. I can hardly wait. 1:31
"The name of the great on is Kolob ... for it is near to me."
God lives on or near the planet (or star) named Kolob. 3:3
"By the Urim and Thummim, that Kolob was after the manner of the Lord...."
I guess God created his home planet, Kolob, using a Urim and Thummim or something. (I wish Abraham wouldn't get so technical!)
"This is the reckoning of the Lord's time, according to the reckoning of Kolob." 3:4
"And the Lord said unto me: The planet which is the lesser light, lesser than that which is to rule the day, even the night, is above or greater than that upon which thou standest in point of reckoning...."
I think you'd have to be from Kolob to understand any of this. 3:5
"And the Lord said unto me: Now, Abraham, these two facts exist, behold thine eyes see it; it is given unto thee to know the times of reckoning, and the set time, yea, the set time of the earth upon which thou standest...."
(If you don't understand this, that's okay. It didn't make any sense to Joseph Smith either.) 3:6
"Kolob is set nigh unto the throne of God, to govern all those planets which belong to the same order as that upon which thou standest."
"And it is given unto thee to know the set time of all the stars that are set to give light."
God told Abraham the "set times" of all the stars in the universe. (There are about 100 billion galaxies with 100 billion or so stars in each. But God gave the 1022 "set times" to Abraham.)
The correct name (the names that God uses) for the sun, moon, star, and stars are Shinehah, Olea, Kokob, and Koaubeam, respectively.
"Kolob is the greatest of all the Kokaubeam ... because it is nearest unto me."
Kolob is the star nearest God. 3:16
"If there be two things, one above the other, and the moon be above the earth, then it may be that
a planet or a star may exist above it."
Since the moon is above the earth, then a planet or a star may also be above the earth. (The mind of God is a frightening thing.)