12.

God drowned the Egyptian army: The Lord took off their chariot wheels

God's last mass murder pretty much did the trick. The night that God killed every firstborn Egyptian child and animal, Pharaoh told Moses to go.

He called for Moses and Aaron by night, and said, Rise up, and get you forth from among my people, both ye and the children of Israel; and go, serve the LORD, as ye have said. Also take your flocks and your herds, as ye have said, and be gone; and bless me also. Exodus 12:31-32

So Moses rounded up all three million or so Israelites, their flocks, herds, cattle, unleavened bread, and all the silver, gold, and clothes that they could steal from the Egyptians, and left town.

The people took their dough before it was leavened ... and they borrowed of the Egyptians jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment ... And they spoiled the Egyptians ... about six hundred thousand on foot that were men, beside children ... and flocks, and herds, even very much cattle. 12:34-38

And everything would have ended happily ever after, too, if God could have resisted the temptation to harden the Pharaoh's heart a few more times.

You see, the Pharaoh's heart was just too damned soft to suit God. So he set about hardening it a bit more. (He had to harden it 8 times in order to pull off his last killing.)

I will harden Pharaoh's heart, that he shall follow after them; and I will be honoured upon Pharaoh, and upon all his host; that the Egyptians may know that I am the LORD. 14:4

And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh. 14:8

I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and I will get me honour upon Pharaoh, and upon all his host, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen. And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me honour upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen. 14.17-18

So God hardened Pharaoh's heart some more and got himself a little more honor.

Of course he had to kill some more Egyptians so that they would know that he is the Lord. Sometimes you have to kill people in order to get to know them better.

So that's what God did. And you saw the movie so you know the rest of the story. God parted the sea so the Israelites could cross and then drowned the Egyptian army.

The LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the sea, that the waters may come again upon the Egyptians ... and the LORD overthrew the Egyptians in the midst of the sea. ... And the waters returned, and covered the chariots, and the horsemen, and all the host of Pharaoh that came into the sea after them; there remained not so much as one of them. 14.26-28

But the part I like best they didn't show in the movie. God got right out there with his wrenches and whatnot and removed the wheels from the Egyptian chariots. How cool is that?

The LORD ... took off their chariot wheels. 14:24-25

That would have been fun to watch.

OK. So how many Egyptians drowned to get God some more honor?

Well, we know there were at least 600, since that's how many chariots the Pharaoh sent after the Israelites.

And he took six hundred chosen chariots, and all the chariots of Egypt, and captains over every one of them. 14:7

But along with the chariots there were "horsemen, and all the host of Pharaoh" that chased after the three million or so escaping slaves.

So although I probably greatly underestimated the imaginary number, I guessed 5000.