God drowns everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears -- all
creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. 7:21-23
Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two "virgin daughters"
instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to "do unto them [his daughters] as is good in your
eyes." This is the same man that is called "just" and "righteous" in
2 Peter 2:7-8. 19:7-8
God kills everyone (men, women, children, infants, newborns) in Sodom and Gomorrah
by raining "fire and brimstone from the Lord out of heaven." Well, almost everyone -- he
spares the "just and righteous" Lot and his family. 19:24
Lot's nameless wife looks back, and God turns her into a pillar of salt.
19:26
God threatens to kill Abimelech and his people for believing Abe's lie. 20:3-7
Sarai tells Abraham to "cast out this bondwoman and her son." God commands him to
"hearken unto her voice." So Abraham abandons Hagar and Ishmael, casting them out into the
wilderness to die. 21:10-14
Abraham shows his willingness to kill his son for God. Only an evil God would ask a father to do that; only a bad
father would be willing to do it. 22:10
Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, is "defiled" by a man who seems to love her dearly. Her
brothers trick all of the men of the town and kill them (after first having them all circumcised),
and then take their wives and children captive. 34:1-31
"And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him."
What did Er do to elicit God's wrath? The Bible doesn't say. Maybe he picked up
some sticks on Saturday. 38:7
After God killed Er, Judah tells Onan to "go in unto they brother's wife." But "Onan
knew that the seed should not be his; and ... when he went in unto his brother's wife ... he
spilled it on the ground.... And the thing which he did displeased the Lord; wherefore he slew
him also." This lovely Bible story is seldom read in Sunday School, but it is the basis of many
Christian doctrines, including the condemnation of both masturbation and birth control.
38:8-10
Exodus
God threatens to kill the Pharaoh's firstborn son. 4:23
God decides to kill Moses because his son had not yet been circumcised.
4:24-26
After God has sufficiently hardened the Pharaoh's heart, he kills all the firstborn Egyptian children. When he was finished
"there was not a house where there was not one dead." Finally, he runs out of little babies to kill, so he slaughters the firstborn
cattle, too. 12:29
After hardening Pharaoh's heart a few more times, God drowns Pharaoh's army in the sea
14:4-28
"The Lord is a man of war." Indeed, judging from his acts in the Old Testament, he is a vicious warlike monster.
15:3
If you do what God says, he won't send his diseases on you (like he did to the Egyptians).
But otherwise.... 15:26
Joshua, with God's approval, kills the Amalekites "with the edge of the sword." 17:13
"The Lord has sworn [God swears!] that the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation."
17:14-16
Any person or animal that touches Mt. Sinai shall be stoned to death or "shot through." 19:12-13
Like the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, nobody can see God and live. 19:21
God gives instructions for killing and burning animals. He says that if we will make such "burnt offerings," he will bless
us for it. What kind of mind would be pleased by the killing and burning of innocent animals? 20:24
A child who hits or curses his parents must be executed. 21:15, 17
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." Thousands of innocent women have suffered excruciating deaths because of this
verse. 22:18
"Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death." Is it really necessary to kill such people? Couldn't we just
send them to counseling or something? 22:19
"He who sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only, he shall be utterly destroyed." If this commandment is obeyed,
then the four billion people who do not believe in the biblical god must be killed. 22:20
If you make God angry enough, he will kill you and your family with his own sword. 22:24
God promises to "send his fear before the Israelites" and
to kill everyone that they encounter when they enter the promised land.
23:27
Get some animals, kill them, chop up their bodies, wave body parts in the air, burn the carcasses, and sprinkle the
blood all around -- in precisely the way God tells you. It may well make you sick, but it makes God feel good.
29:11-37
Those who break the Sabbath are to be executed. 31:14
God orders the sons of Levi (Moses, Aaron, and the other members of their tribe that were "on the Lord's side") to kill
"every man his neighbor." "And there fell of the people that day about 3000 men." 32:27-28
But God wasn't satisfied with the slaughter of the 3000, so he killed some more people with a plague.
32:35
Whoever works, or even kindles a fire, on the Sabbath "shall be put to death." 35:2-3
Leviticus
God gives detailed instructions for performing ritualistic animal sacrifices. such bloody rituals
must be important to God, judging from the number of times that he repeats their instructions.
Indeed the entire first nine chapters of Leviticus can be summarized as follows: Get an animal,
kill it, sprinkle the blood around, cut the dead animal into pieces, and burn it for a "sweet savor
unto the Lord." Chapters 1 - 9
Two of the sons of Aaron "offered strange fire before the Lord" and "there went out fire
from the Lord, and devoured them, and they died before the Lord." 10:1-3
If priests misbehave at the tabernacle by uncovering their heads, tearing their clothes, leaving
with holy oil on them, or by drinking "wine or strong drink", then God will kill them and send his
wrath on "all the people." 10:6-9
God "put the plague of leprosy" into the houses of the Canaanites. 14:34
"For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." Couldn't
we try spanking first? 20:9
If a man has sex with his father's wife, kill them both. 20:11
If a man "lies" with his daughter-in-law, then both must be killed.
20:12
If a man has sex with another man, kill them both. 20:13
If you "lie" with your wife and your mother-in-law (now that sounds fun!), then all three
of you must be burned to death. 20:14
If a man or woman "lie with a beast" both the person and the poor animal are to be
killed. 20:15-16
People with "familiar spirits" (witches, fortune tellers, etc.) are to be
stoned to death. 20:27
A priest's daughter who "plays the whore" is to be burned to death.
21:9
Don't do any work on the day of atonement or God will destroy you.
23:29-30
A man curses and blasphemes while disputing with another man. Moses asks God what to
do about it. God says that the whole community must stone him to death. "And the children of Israel did as the Lord
and Moses commanded." 24:10-23
Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire community.
24:16
God tells the Israelites to make slaves out of their neighbors and their families. The "heathens" and
"strangers" are to be their possessions forever. 25:44-46
God tells the Israelites to "chase" their enemies and make them "fall before you by the
sword." He figures five of the Israelites will be able to "chase" a hundred of their enemies, and a
hundred will be able to "put ten thousand to flight." 26:7-8
God describes the torments that he has planned for those who displease him. The usual
stuff: plagues, burning fevers that will consume the eyes, etc. but he reserves the worst for the
little children. He says "ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it," "I will send
wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children," and "ye shall eat the flesh of your
sons and daughters." 26:16-39
All "devoted" things (both man and beast) "shall surely be put to death."
27:28-29
Numbers
God shows his hospitality with the admonition: "The stranger that cometh nigh shall be put to death."
1:51, 3:10, 3:38
Two of Aaron's sons are killed by God for "offering strange fire before the Lord." 3:4
Don't touch or "go in to see when the holy things are covered." God kills people who touch or look
at covered holy things. 4:15, 20
God tells the people to expel from camp "every leper, every one that hath an issue, and whoever is defiled by the dead."
So by God's instructions, the sick are abandoned and left to suffer and die alone. 5:1-4
"And when the people complained, it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard it." (He had his hearing aid on.) He then
burned the complainers alive. That'll teach them. 11:1
"And wile the flesh [of the quails] was yet between their teeth, ere it was chewed, the wrath of the Lord was kindled
against the people, and the Lord smote the people with a very great plague. "The Bible isn't too clear about what these poor
folks did to upset God so much; all it says is that they had "lusted." 11:33
Miriam and Aaron (Moses' brother and sister) criticize Moses for marrying an Ethiopian woman and thus breaking
the law of God. But God makes it clear that his rules
don't apply to his favorites, and he strikes Miriam with leprosy. Notice that
only Miriam is punished, though both she and Aaron complained.
12:1, 9-10
God punishes the children for the failings of their great-great grandfathers.
14:18
God killed those that murmured against him with a plague. 14:36-37
The Israelites find a man picking up sticks on the sabbath. God commands them to kill him by throwing
rocks at him. 15:32-36
Because of a dispute between Korah and
Moses, God has the ground open up and swallow Korah, Dathan, and Abiram "and their wives, and
their sons, and their little children." Then, just for the hell of it, God has a fire burn to death
250 "men that offered incense."
16:20-35
After God killed Korah, his family, and 250 innocent bystanders, the people complained saying, "ye have killed the
people of the Lord." So God, who doesn't take kindly to criticism, sends a plague on the people. And "they that died in the
plague were 14,700." 16:41-50
Stay away from holy things and places -- like churches. God might have to kill you if you get
too close.18:3, 22, 32
God shows us how to make new friends by saying : "The stranger that cometh nigh shall be put to death."
18:7
"And the Lord hearkened to the voice of Israel, and delivered up the Canaanites; and they utterly destroyed them and
their cities." This verse demonstrates the power of prayer: If you ask God, he will destroy entire cities for you.
21:3
God sends "fiery serpents" to bite his chosen people, and many of them die. 21:6
God delivers the Amorites into Moses' hands. (You're in God hands with Moses.) So Moses does the usual thing,
killing everyone "until their was none left alive." 21:34-35
God's people will kill like a lion and then "drink the blood of the slain." 23:24
God, who is as strong as a unicorn, will eat up the nations, break their bones, and then pierce them through with his
arrows. What a guy! 24:8
After the people "commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab," Moses has them all killed. Then God tells Moses to
hang their dead bodies up in front of him; God says that this will satisfy him. 25:1-5
When one of the Israelite men brings home a foreign woman, "Phinehas (Aaron's grandson) sees them and throws a spear "through the man .. and the woman through her belly."
This act pleases God so much that "the plague was stayed from the children of Israel." But not before
24,000 had died. 25:6-9
For impaling the interracial couple, God rewards Phinehas and his sons with the everlasting
priesthood. 25:10-13
The ground swallow Korah and his companions and a fire consumes 250 men. 26:10
"And Nadab and Abihu died when they offered strange fire before the Lord." When you go camping avoid making any
unusual fires. 26:61
Under God's direction, Moses' army defeats the Midianites. They kill all the adult males, but take the women and
children captive. When Moses learns that they left some live, he angrily says: "Have you saved all the women alive? Kill
every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children,
that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." So they went back and did as Moses (and
presumably God) instructed, killing everyone except for the virgins. In this way they got 32,000 virgins -- Wow!
(Even God
gets some of the booty -- including the virgins.) 31:1-54
God tells Moses to exterminate the residents of Canaan and destroy all of their religious symbols and possessions.
33:50-52
But if the Israelites don't kill them all, then God will make them pricks in their eyes and
thorns in their sides. And he will do unto the Israelites as he planned to do to the inhabitants of
Canaan. 33:55-56
"The revenger of blood" must murder the murderer just as soon as he sees him. 35:19, 21
When a murder is committed the blood pollutes the land. The only way to cleanse it is to spill more blood by killing the
killer. 35:30, 33
Deuteronomy
At God's instructions, the Israelites "utterly destroyed the men, women, and the little ones" leaving "none to
remain." 2:33-36
The Israelites, with God's help, kill all the men, women, and children of every
city. 3:3-6
God brought the Israelites out of Egypt "by war ... and by great terrors."
4:34
If someone makes an image of anything (like a bird or flower) then God will destroy the entire
nation. 4:25-26
If you worship the wrong god, God will get jealous and kill you. 6:15
God instructs the Israelites to kill, without mercy, all the inhabitants (strangers) of the land that they
conquer. 7:2
If you do show any mercy to such strangers, "give your daughters to any of them, or "take" any of their daughters, then
you'll get God so angry that he'll "destroy thee suddenly." 7:4
God commands his people to "consume all the people which the Lord thy God shall deliver thee; thine eye shall have
no pity on them." 7:16
God will send hornets to kill your enemies, "for the Lord thy God is among you,
a mighty God and terrible." 7:20-23
"If thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods ... ye shall surely perish."
8:19-20
God is "a consuming fire" that destroys people. 9:3
After God kills those of other faiths, be sure to reject their beliefs and do not
learn about them. Otherwise God will have to kill you too. 12:30
Prophets and dreamers are to be executed if they say or dream the wrong things.
13:1-5
If your brother, son, daughter, wife, or friend tries to get you to worship another god, "thou shalt surely kill him,
thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death." 13:6-10
If you hear of a city where another god is worshiped, then destroy everyone in the city (even the cattle) and burn
it down. (Watch out Salt Lake!) 13:12-16
Kill everyone who has religious beliefs that are different from your own. 17:2-7
Anyone who will not listen to a priest or a judge must be executed. 17:12-13
False prophets are to be (you guessed it) executed. How do you know who is a false prophet? By whether or not their
predictions come true. (Watch out Jehovah's Witnesses!) 18:20
Murderers and perjurers are to be executed -- "and thine eye shall not pity" them. 19:11-13,
18-21
"And thine eye shall not pity. Life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth,
hand for hand, foot for foot." 19:21
In the cities that god "delivers into thine hands" you must kill all the males (including old men, boys, and babies) with
"the edge of the sword .... But the women ... shalt thou take unto yourself." 20:13
"But of the cities ... which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that
breatheth." Kill the old men and women, the sick and the dying, the blind and the lame, pregnant mothers, nursing mothers,
infants, toddlers, and babies. 20:16
If you find a dead body and don't know the cause of death, then get all the elders together, cut off the head of a
heifer, wash your hands over its body, and say our hands have not shed this blood. (That'll do it!)
21:1-8
If you have a "stubborn and rebellious son," then you and the other men in your neighborhood "shall stone him
with stones that he die." 21:18-21
Hang on trees the bodies of those who are "accursed of God." They make nice decorations.
21:22
If a man marries, then decides that he hates his wife, he can claim she wasn't a virgin when they were married. If
her father can't produce the "tokens of her virginity" (bloody sheets), then the woman is to be stoned to death at her father's
doorstep. 22:13-21
"If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die."
22:22
If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to
death." 22:23-24
If two men fight and the wife of one grabs the "secrets" of the other, "then thou shalt cut off her hand" and "thine eye
shall not pity her." 25:11-12
If you don't obey all of the laws that are given in the Old Testament, God shower you with the curses that are given
in the next 52 verses. 28:16-68
God will send you "cursing, vexing, the pestilence, consumption, fever, inflammation, extreme
burning, the sword, blasting, and mildew." 28:20-22
"The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and the emerods [hemorrhoids], and with the scab, and with the
itch, whereof thou canst be healed. The Lord will smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart."
28:27-28
"The Lord will smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy
foot unto the top of thy head." 28:35
"All these curses shall come upon thee ... and upon thy seed for ever." 28:48-49
"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters."
28:53-55
"The tender and delicate woman" will be forced to eat her own children "that cometh out from between her
feet." 28:56-57
If you don't do as God says he'll send plagues to torment and destroy you.
28:58-64
If you serve the gods of other nations, "all the curses that are in
this book" will fall upon you. 29:18-20
Moses tells the people that God will destroy
all the inhabitants of the lands that they pass through. 31:3
When God gets mad -- watch out! He'll starve you to death, burn you with fire, and send vicious beasts to
devour you. He'll "destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs." Not even the
helpless and innocent are spared by this psychotic God. 32:21-26
"I kill ... I wound ... I will make my arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh."
Someone should take his sword and arrows away, at least until he's feeling better.
32:39-43
Joshua
"And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass,
with the edge of the sword." 6:21
"And Joshua ... took Achan ... and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his sheep... And all of Israel
stoned them with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones." This is because Achan "took
of the accursed thing" -- whatever that means. But why would God require that Achan's sons and daughters (and even his
animals) be stoned to death along with him? The Bible doesn't say. But it does tell us that "the Lord turned from the
fierceness of his anger" when Achan, his children, and his animals were stoned to death and their dead bodies burned.
7:24-26
Joshua and his army, per God's instructions, slaughter "all the inhabitants of Ai." 8:22-26
Joshua hangs the king of Ai on a tree until evening. 8:29
God slaughters the Amorites and chases them "along the way" as they try to escape. Then he sends down
huge hailstones and kills even more of them. 10:10-11
In a divine type of daylight savings time, God makes the sun stand still so that Joshua can get all his killing done
before dark. 10:12-13
Joshua tells his captains to "put your feet upon the necks of these kings." He says, "thus shall the Lord do to all of
your enemies." Then Joshua kills the kings and hangs them on trees. 10:24-26
Joshua, at God's command, kills everyone and everything that he can find (including babies and little children)--
or, as the Bible puts it, he "utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord commanded." 10:28-32
God delivers the Hazorites into Joshua's hand, and he knows just what to do with them: he smites them all with
(you guessed it) the edge of the sword until "there was not any left to breathe." 11:6-17
"For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy
them utterly." Notice that God hardens their hearts so that he can have an excuse to kill them. 11:20
Judges
God appoints Judah to succeed Joshua. The Lord delivers his foes into his hands and another 10,000 are slain.
In the process, they capture Adonibezek and "cut off his thumbs and great toes." Nice guys.
1:2-6
Ehud delivers a "message from God" to the king of Moab. God's message consists of a knife thrust so deeply
into the king's belly that it could not be extracted, "and the dirt came out." Just another lovely Bible story.
3:15-22
Shamgar kills 600 Philistines with an ox goad. Praise God. 3:31
Jael (our heroine) offers food and shelter to a traveler (Sisera, Jabin's captain), saying "turn in my Lord ...
fear not." Then after giving him a glass of milk and tucking him in, she drives a tent stake through his head. "So God
subdued on that day Jabin." 4:17-23
When Gideon and his water-lapping companions blow their trumpets, God forces all the enemy soldiers to kill
each other, killing 120,000. 7:22, 8:10
Two princes are killed and their heads are brought to Gideon. 7:25
For refusing to feed him and his army, Gideon tears the flesh off the elders of Succoth and kills the men of the
city. 8:7, 16
Gideon orders his son to kill two kings, but he refuses. So Gideon has to do it himself since his son isn't "man"
enough to do it. 8:20
Abimelech kills 69 brothers "upon one stone." (He was trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records.)
9:5
God sends evil spirits that cause humans to deal treacherously with each other.
9:23-24
When "the spirit of the Lord" comes upon Jephthah, he makes a deal with God: If God will help him kill the
Ammonites, then he (Jephthah) will offer to God as a burnt offering whatever comes out of his house to greet him.
God keeps his end of the deal by providing Jephthah with "a very great slaughter." But when Jephthah returns, his
nameless daughter comes out to greet him (who'd he expect, his wife?). Well, a deal's a deal, so he delivers her to
God as a burnt offering -- after letting her spend a couple of months going up and down on the mountains bewailing
her virginity. 11:29-39
Samson rips up a young lion when "the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him." 14:5-8
"And the spirit of the Lord came upon him [Samson], and he ... slew thirty men." (Samson might have been a
decent person if he could have kept the spirit of the Lord off him.) 14:19
Samson catches 300 foxes, ties their tails together, and sets them on fire; the Philistines
burn Samson's ex-wife and father-in-law; and Samson smites them "hip and thigh with a great
slaughter." 15:4-8
"The spirit of the Lord came mightily upon" Samson and "he found a new jawbone of an ass ... and took it,
and slew 1000 men therewith." 15:14-15
Samson, with God's help, kills himself and 3000 Philistine men and women by causing a roof to collapse,
setting an example for Bible-based terrorism. 16:27-30
After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine to a mob of
perverts (who want to have sex with his guest). The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they
"abuse her all night." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite puts her dead body on an
ass and takes her home. Then he chops her body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of
Israel 19:22-30
The Israelites finish their massacre of the Benjamites by killing all the men, animals, and
everything they could find in every Benjamite city. Then they burned the cities to the ground.
(In this way God helped the Israelites make everything better after the rape and dismemberment of
the concubine.) 20:48
To find wives for the Benjamites (they were unwilling to use their own daughters), the other tribes attacked
and killed all occupants of a city except for the young virgins. These virgins were then given to the Benjamites for
wives. 21:7-23
1 Samuel
"The Lord killeth ..." -- every chance he gets. 2:6, 2:25
"The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall he thunder upon them." If God doesn't
like you, he'll send a thunderstorm your way to break your body into little pieces. 2:10
If you piss him off, God will cut off your arm, consume your eyes, grieve your heart, and kill your sons and
grandfathers. 2:31-34
God will punish Eli's descendants forever for the sins of Eli's sons. 3:12-13
God smites the people of Ashdod with hemorrhoids "in their secret parts."
5:6-12
God kills 50,070 men for looking into the ark. "And the people lamented, because the Lord had smitten many of
the people with a great slaughter." 6:19
"I make a covenant with your, that I may thrust out all your right eyes." Deals like this can only be found in the
Bible. 11:2
"And the spirit of God came upon Saul ... and he took a yoke of oxen, and hewed them in pieces, and sent them
throughout all the coast of Israel." People do the darnedest
things when the spirit of God comes upon them! 11:6-7
God delivers the Philistines into Jonathan's hand. And his very "first slaughter ... was about twenty men."
Not bad for a first slaughter. 14:12
Under God's influence, the Philistines killed each other. 14:20
God orders Saul to kill all of the Amalekites: men, women, infants, sucklings, ox, sheep, camels, and asses.
Why? Because God remembers what Amalek did hundreds of years ago. 15:2-3
Saul killed everyone but Agag (the king) and the best of the animals. But still God was furious with Saul for
not killing everything as he had been told to do. He said, "it repenteth me that I have set Saul up to be king."
15:7-26
Saul is rebuked by Samuel for "doing evil in the sight of the Lord" by failing to kill all of the
Amalekites. 15:18-19
Because Saul didn't kill everyone as God commanded, God changes his mind about him
being king. 15:23-26
To please God, Samuel hacks Agag in pieces "before the Lord" [I bet God enjoyed that!] -- after Agag
pleads with him saying, "surely the bitterness of death has past." 15:32-34
After God rejects Saul for refusing to kill
indiscriminately, he sends Samuel to find another king. David is chosen and
anointed by Samuel, and "the spirit of the Lord came upon him from that
day forward." 16:13
The evil spirit from the Lord "But the spirit of the Lord
departed from Saul [since he was not murderous enough for God], and an evil
spirit from the Lord troubled him." But if God is good, then how could
he have an evil spirit? 16:14-16, 23
David and Saul have a contest to see who can kill the most people for God, and the women act as
cheerleaders saying, "Saul has killed his thousands, and David his tens of thousands."
18:6-7, 21:11, 29:5
David kills 200 Philistines and brings their foreskins to Saul to buy his first wife (Saul's daughter Michal).
Saul had only asked for 100 foreskins, but David was feeling generous. 18:25-27
"David inquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I go and smite these Philistines? And the Lord said unto David, Go,
and smite the Philistines ... So David smote them with a great slaughter."
23:2-5
David vows to kill "any that pisseth against the wall." 25:22, 34
"And it came to pass about ten days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that he died." This was convenient for
David who then took his property and his wife, Abigail. 25:38
"And David smote the land and left neither man nor woman alive." (No wonder God liked David so much!)
27:8-11
Saul visits a woman with a "familiar spirit" and she brings Samuel back from the dead. Samuel once again
explains that God is angry at Saul for not killing all of the Amalekites. He says God is going to deliver all of Israel
into the hands of the Philistines. (Since Saul refused to slaughter innocent people, God will slaughter the Israelites.
Fair is fair.) 28:8-19
2 Samuel
David tells one of his "young men" to kill the Amalekite messenger who claimed to have mercifully killed Saul
at Saul's own request. 1:15
Joab and Abner watch as the young men "play" a cruel game. "And they caught every one his fellow by the
head, and thrust his sword in his fellow side, so they fell down together." 2:14
When Joab (David's captain) kills Abner (by smiting him under the fifth rib of course), David says that he
and his kingdom are not responsible. The blame, he says, lays with Joab. So David curses Joab, his family, and their
descendants forever. Let them all be plagued with venereal diseases and leprosy, starve to death, commit suicide, or
lean on staves. (The Revised Standard Version translates "leaneth on a staff" as "holds a spindle," apparently
meaning effeminate -- real men don't spin or weave.) 3:27-29
Some of David's men kill Saul's son (by smiting him under the fifth rib, of course) and bring his head to
David, thinking that he'll be pleased. But he wasn't. David has the assassins killed, their hands and feet chopped off,
and their bodies hung up (for decorations?) over the pool in Hebron. 4:6-7
Whoever kills the lame and the blind will be David's "chief and captain." 5:8
Uzzah tries to keep the ark from falling off the cart, and God kills him for it. I guess it was God's way of saying
Thanks. 6:6-7
David tells Joab (his captain) to send Bathsheba's husband (Uriah) to "the forefront of the hottest battle
... that he may be smitten and die." In this way, David gets another wife. 11:15,
11:17, 11:27
To punish David for having Uriah killed, God kills Bathsheba's baby boy. 12:14-18
David saws, hacks, and burns to death all the inhabitants of several cities. Maybe this is what is meant by "the
tender mercies of David" (Acts 13:34). 12:31
Amasa is viciously slaughtered by Joab, who "shed out his bowels to the ground ... And Amasa wallowed
in blood in the midst of the highway." 20:10, 12
"And they cut off the head of Sheba ... and cast it out to Joab." 20:21-22
A famine is sent on David's kingdom for three years. When David asks God why, God answers: "It is for Saul,
and his bloody house, because he slew the Gibeonites. "So God sent a famine to punish a kingdom for something that
a former king had done. 21:1
To appease God and end the famine that was caused by his predecessor (Saul), David agrees to have seven of
Saul's sons killed and hung up "unto the Lord." 21:6-9
"He teacheth my hands to war." Might as well learn from an expert. 22:35
God offers David a choice of punishments for having conducted the census: 1) seven years of famine (
1 Chronicles 21:1 says three years), 2) three months fleeing from enemies, or 3) three days
of pestilence. David can't decide, so God chooses for him and sends a pestilence, killing 70,000 men (and probably
around 200,000 women and children). 24:13
1 Kings
In David's last words, he commands his son Solomon to murder Joab. 2:1-9
Solomon has his brother (Adonijah) murdered. 2:24-25
Solomon carries out the deathbed instructions of his father David by having Joab murdered.
2:29-34
Solomon justifies the murder of Joab by saying that Joab also was a murderer, and that the blood of Joab's victims
"shall therefore return upon the head of Joab, and upon the head of his seed for ever."
2:33
But Solomon is not done murdering yet. He has Shimei murdered -- or as Solomon put it, "The Lord shall return
thy wickedness upon thine own head." 2:44, 46
When dedicating the temple, Solomon kills 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. All this blood and gore must have
made God very happy. 8:63
Joab (David's captain) spent six months killing every male in Edom. 11:16
There were these two prophets. The first prophet lied to the second. To the punish the second for
believing the first's lie, God sends a lion to kill him. Get it? 13:11-24
God promises to "bring evil upon the house of Jerobaom," saying he will "cut off" anyone "that
pisseth against the wall." Then, after he is done with them, their dead bodies will be eaten by dogs (if they are
city dwellers) or fowls (if they are country folk). 14:10-12
Baasha kills "all of the house of Jeroboam" leaving none "to breath." This slaughter was done "according to the
word of the Lord." 15:29
Zimri kills everyone "that pisseth against a wall ... according to the word of the Lord."
16:11-12
God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites hands, and 100,000 were killed in one day. Of those that
escaped, 27,000 were crushed by a falling wall. 20:28-30
There was this son of a prophet that said to his neighbor, "kill me."
But the neighbor refused. So God sent a lion to devour him. 20:35
"Thus saith the Lord, in the place where dogs licked the blood of Naboth shall dogs lick thy blood, even thine."
21:19
Jezebel (Ahab's "strange" wife) "stirred up" Ahab to "work
wickedness in the sight of the Lord." To punish her, God will feed her dead body to the dogs. (He
also plans to feed the city folk to the dogs and country folks to the birds.)
21:23-25
2 Kings
Ahaziah was sick and sent messengers to Baalzebub to ask if he would recover. God was jealous of the
attention given to his competitor and tells Ahaziah that he will die for asking the wrong god.
1:4, 17
Elijah shows that he is "a man of God" by burning 102 men to death. 1:9-12
God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head. 2:23-24
Elisha not only can cure leprosy, he can also dish it out. Here he makes his servant (Gehazi) and all his
descendants lepers forever. 5:27
"So we boiled my son, and did eat him." Women killed, boiled and ate their own
children because of a plague that God sent, or as the Bible puts it: "Behold, this evil is of the
Lord." 6:28-29, 33
A man is trampled to death for disbelieving Elisha. 7:17-20
God sends a famine on the people that lasts for seven years. 8:1
God says that the "whole house of Ahab shall perish," and that he "will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against
the wall." 9:8
"And the dogs shall eat Jezebel ... and there shall be none to bury her." 9:10
God has Jezebel thrown off a wall. Her blood is sprinkled on the wall and on the horses, by which she is
trampled. Her body is eaten by dogs and all that remains of it is her hands, feet, and skull. God says that she "shall be
as dung upon the face of the field." 9:33-37
All seventy of king Ahab's sons are killed, their heads put in baskets, and sent to Jezreel. He says, "Lay ye
them in two heaps ..." 10:7-8
Jehu shows off his zeal for the Lord by murdering "all that remained unto Ahab in Samaria, till he had
destroyed him according to the word of the Lord." 10:16-17
God is greatly pleased with all of Jehu's killings, saying "because thou hast done well in executing that which
is right in mine eyes, and hast done unto the house of Ahab according to all that was in mine heart [Jehu murdered
them all], thy children of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel." 10:30
The "Lord's people" destroyed the "house of Baal" and killed "the priest of Baal
before the altars." 11:17-18
Amaziah "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord" and killed ten thousand Edomites.
14:3, 7
God strikes king Azariah with leprosy "unto the day of his death" for not removing the high places.
15:5
God sent lions to devour the foreigners in Samaria because "they feared not the Lord," and even worse
"they knew not the manner of the God of the land." Well that'll teach them about God's manners.
17:25-26
An "angel of the Lord" kills 185,000 men while they sleep. "And when they arose early in the morning, behold,
they were all dead corpses." I guess they all woke up and said, "Shucks, I'm dead." 19:35
Josiah, apparently with God's approval, kills "all the priests of the high places" and sacrifices them to God on
their altars. Note that this is a guy who "did what was right in the eyes of the Lord"
(2 Kings 22:2). 23:20
1 Chronicles
The sons of Reuben made war with the Hagarites and "there fell down many slain, because the
war was from God." They did pretty well for themselves, too, in God's war, taking 250,000
sheep and 100,000 slaves. 5:18-22
God kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling. 13:9-10
"The LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand."
God tells David to go to war with the Philistines, promising to deliver them into his hand. 14:10
"David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Philistines." 14:16
God kills 70,000 men because David had a census. 21:7
2 Chronicles
Solomon, when dedicating the temple, killed 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. All the blood, guts, pain, and
suffering must have made God very happy. 7:5
God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500,000 Israelites. "The children of Judah prevailed,
because they relied upon the Lord God of their fathers." (That is, they had God on their side.)
13:15-20
In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the bible, Asa, with God's help, kills one million Ethiopians.
14:8-14
"Nation was destroyed of nation, and city of city: for God did vex them with all
adversity." 15:6
Whoever that does not seek the God of Israel should be executed. 15:13
God inspired Jehoram's enemies to steal his wives and children. Then
he made Jehoram so sick that his bowels fell out. 21:14-19
Only Levites can enter "the house of the Lord". "Whosoever else cometh
into the house, he shall be put to death." 23:6-7
God told Jehu to kill everyone in the house of Ahab (and then later condemned him for
it (Hosea 1:4)). 22:7-9
Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,000 people; another
10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all were broken in pieces."
25:1-2, 11-12
God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21
Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children
"because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8
God sent an angel to kill the Assyrian army. (According to
2 Kings 19:35 the angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers who
woke the next morning to discover that they were dead.) 32:21
God vows to "bring evil upon this place ... even all the curses that are written in the book." He says his
"wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched." 34:24-25, 28
God gets angry with his people, so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill all the "young men with the
sword." He has compassion for no one, not even old men that are "stooped for age." In his tender mercy and loving
kindness he has them all slaughtered. 36:16-17
Job
To start off God and Satan's gruesome game, Job's slaves and animals
are killed. 1:14-17
God (or Satan -- it's hard to tell them apart) sends a wind that kills Job's sons and daughters.
1:18-19
"So went Satan forth from
the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his
crown." 2:7
Psalms
If you ask God, he'll force heathens to be your slaves and help you
"dash them in pieces." 2:8-9
If you pray to God, he will kill your enemies for you. 9:3-6
The God of peace teaches us how to kill our neighbors in war. 18:34
If you make God angry, he'll burn you and your children to death. 21:9-10
God will shoot his adversaries in the back with his arrows. 21:12
A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies: Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute
them.... Let destruction come upon him at unawares." 35:6,8
God laughs at those that he will later torment. 37:13
If you forget God, God will tear you into pieces. 50:22
If you don't trust in God, he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righteous" will laugh at you.
52:5-7
Referring to his enemies, the psalmist says: "Let death seize upon them, and let them go down
quick into hell." 55:15
The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth ... let them be
cut in pieces." 58:6-7
The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy. 59:5
God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. 59:8
"The righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by God.
He'll even get a chance to wash his feet in their blood. Now that's entertainment!
58:10
"The God of mercy" will let the psalmist see his enemies tormented. 59:10
"Consume them in thy wrath, consume them." -- more sweet prayers to a savage god.
59:13
God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can wash their feet "in the blood
of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same." 68:21, 23
The psalmist prays that his enemies be tormented and blinded by God. He asks God to "make their loins
continually to shake." 69:23-28
"The LORD heard this" (he had his hearing aid on) and became angry, and burned people
"because they believed not in God." 78:21-22
"The wrath of God came upon them" and God killed many of the Israelites for not believing in "his
wondrous works." 78:31-34
The psalmist asks God to " do unto them as unto the Midianites ... which became as dung for the earth."
83:9-18
"A fire goeth before him, and burneth up his enemies round about." 97:3
God gives the lions their meat. The cruelty and brutality of nature are all part of God's plan.
104:21
The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstborn in their land." See Exodus 12:29-30 for the gory details.
105:29-36
God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: drowning, earth-swallowing, burning,
etc. 106:11-19
God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab." But
"then stood up Phinehas, and executed judgment [by throwing a spear through a newly married couple]:
and so the plague was stayed." But not before 24,000 (1 Corinthians 10:8
says 23,000) had died. (See Numbers 25:6-9 for all the gory details.)
106:29-30
The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "Set thou a wicked man over
him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let his prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions,
kill him, and have his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. 109:6-14
God will "fill the places with dead bodies" of heathens. 110:6
God is praised for slaughtering kings, nations, and little babies.
135:8, 10
"To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever."
136:10
"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."
137:9
The psalmist excels at hating. He hates people with a "perfect hatred" and asks God to kill
them. 139:19-22
A prayer that God will burn people to death. 140:10
The God of Peace teaches us to kill each other in war. 144:1
Proverbs
Beating your children with a rod is a sure sign of parental love. 13:24
God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them. 16:4
Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. 19:18
Scorners (skeptics?) should be condemned; fools should be beaten. 19:29
"The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly."
20:30
"The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous." 21:18
Beating your children will make them less foolish. Have you beaten your
child today? 22:15
Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You
may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to
kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank
you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14
Whip horses and strike the backs of foolish people with rods. 26:3
Beat your servants (slaves), as though they were your children. 29:19
If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out
your eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. 30:17
Isaiah
"And ... instead of a sweet smell there
shall be stink," with people suffering from baldness and burnings, and the men killed with
swords. 3:24-25
After God "washed away the filth" from the women and killed the men, he set up
"a cloud and smoke by day" and a "flaming fire by night." 4:4-5
God will kill those who despise his word and fail to follow his laws. Their
carcasses will be "torn in the midst of the streets." 5:24-25
God will have no mercy on the widows and children of hypocrites. 9:17
God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the flesh of his own arm."
9:19-20
God will "smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked."
11:4
"I have commanded my sanctified ones ... to destroy the whole land." God has his holy ones do
his dirty work for him. 13:3-5
On God's day he will kill sinners with great anger, wrath, and cruelty. Those who die will have their faces consumed by flames.
13:6-9
If God can find you, he will "thrust you through," smash your children "to pieces" before your eyes, and rape your wife.
He will have no mercy, but will even kill your little children. 13:15-18
God will slaughter children "for the iniquity of their fathers." 14:21
After God destroys Moab, the rivers will be red with blood. He will send lions to
eat any survivors. 15:9
The Apocalypse of Isaiah: God will destroy the earth, burning everyone and every living thing
alive (except maybe a few men). 24:1-6
"And the people shall ... be burned in the fire." 33:12
God is furious at everyone and is ready to kill them all. Or as Isaiah so delicately puts it: "Their stink shall come up
out of their carcasses, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood." 34:2-3
God's sword "will be bathed in heaven." Sounds like a place to stay away from. 34:5
God's sword is "filled with blood," and he fully intends to use it. He'll kill so many people with it that the "land shall
be soaked with blood." 34:6-8
An angel of God kills 185,000 men. "And when they [those killed by the angel?] arose early in the morning, behold,
they were all dead men." 37:36
No astrologer, stargazer, or prognosticator will be able to save those that God plans to burn to death.
47:13-14
"I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with
their own blood, as with sweet wine." 49:26
"The heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like a
garment, and they that dwell therein shall die in like manner." (God plans to destroy the universe.)
51:6
"I will ... trample them in my fury; and their blood ... will stain all my raiment." (God's clothes
will get stained with the blood of humans.) 63:2-6
God will "plead with all flesh" with fire and sword, "and the slain of the Lord shall be many."
66:16
The carcasses of those killed by God will be piled high. They will rot and burn forever. And although their stench will
be revolting to humans, it will be a sweet savour unto the Lord. 66:24
Jeremiah
God "corrects" people by killing their children. 2:30
Circumcise the foreskin of your heart or God will burn you to death. 4:4
God will bring evil to entire cities, destroying them and wipe out all of their
inhabitants. 4:6-7
God sends plagues and violence to correct people. 5:3
God will send lions and leopards to tear people into little bitty pieces.
5:6
God will kill those who believe and preach the wrong doctrines. 5:12-13
"I am full of the fury of the Lord; I am weary of holding it in." He's anxious
to "pour it out" on children, young men, husbands, wives, and old people.
6:11-12
God threatens to punish the men by taking away
all of their property, including their wives, and giving them to others. 6:12
God will kill pretty much everyone: fathers and sons,
family, friends, and neighbors. God plans to kill them all after laying a stumbling block before them.
6:21
God will send soldiers from the north that will kill everyone and
have no mercy. 6:22-23
God will pour out his anger on both man and beast. Not even the trees will
be spared from his wrath. And the ground itself will burn forever. 7:20
God will feed the people to the birds and the beasts, "and none shall fray
them away." 7:33
God will cover the earth with dead bodies that will not be buried. "They shall be for dung
upon the face of the earth." 8:2
People will choose to kill themselves, rather than be killed by their vicious
God. 8:3
God will give the people bad food and water, and then kill them with a
sword. 9:15-16
God will kill children and young men, and the dead bodies "shall fall as dung .... and none shall
gather them." 9:21-22
"Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will punish all them which are circumcised with the
uncircumcised." I guess that'd include just about everyone -- well, all the men
anyway. 9:25-26
Jeremiah prays for the destruction of people and families that don't call on God's name.
10:25
God "will bring evil upon" people from which they will not be able to escape. And if they
cry out to him for help, he will not help them. 11:11
God forbids others from praying for his victims. Such prayers would go unanswered anyway, he says,
because he "will not hear them in their time of trouble." 11:14
God will punish the people by killing their young men in war and starving their children to death. 11:22
Jeremiah asks God to drag away his enemies like "sheep for the slaughter."
12:3
God delivered his people "into the hand of her enemies." He "hates" his "dearly
beloved" people and plans to feed them to the birds. 12:7-9
God's sword will "devour" everyone until "no flesh shall have
peace." 12:12
If any nation does not listen to God, he "will utterly pluck up and destroy that
nation." 12:17
God plans to make everyone in the kingdom drunk and then "dash the fathers and the sons
together." The merciful God of Peace vows to "not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy
them." 13:13-14
God tells Jeremiah not to pray for the people. God has decided to kill them all and he doesn't want to
be talked out of it. 14:11
God will ignore the peoples' prayers, and kill them all with war, starvation, and disease.
14:12
God will destroy by famine and sword those who are misled by the prophets, as well as the prophets
themselves. 14:15-16
God tells Jeremiah not to bother praying for the people. Even if Moses and Samuel (and
Jesus?) were to ask him to reconsider, he wouldn't. He's going to kill everybody and nobody can stop him!
15:1
God plans to do four things to his people: 1) kill them with swords, 2) tear their flesh with dogs, 3) have the birds, and 4) the beasts eat their bodies. Why will he do these terrible things? Because of
something some former king did. 15:2-4
God again threatens Jerusalem with mass destruction. Here are some of the highlights:
He will kill children, make more widows than there are grains of
sand, terrorize cities, and then kill the survivors. 15:7-9
God will have you enslaved and, if you make him mad enough, he will burn you to
death. 15:14
God tells Jeremiah not to get married or have children, because he's
going to kill everyone (mothers and daughters, fathers and sons). They all "shall die of grievous
deaths," and that shall neither "be lamented" nor buried, but "shall
be as dung upon the face of the earth." For he has removed peace, "lovingkindness," and mercy
from the people. 16:1-7
God will kill children if their parents worship other gods. 16:10-11
If you don't honor the Sabbath, God will burn you to death unquenchable fire.
17:27
God admits that he does evil things to people. 18:11
Jeremiah asks God to kill the young men in war and the children by starvation.
18:21
God will do so much evil to the people that whoever hears of it will have their ears tingle.
19:3
God will make parents eat their own children, "and they shall eat everyone the flesh of his
friend." 19:7-9
God will break those who worship other gods as though they were made of clay, killing
so many that there will not be enough room to bury them all. 19:11-13
"For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will make thee a terror to thyself, and
to all thy friends: and they shall fall by the sword of their enemies, and
thine eyes shall behold it." 20:4
God himself will fight and kill everyone in fury "with an outstretched hand and
with a strong arm." 21:5
"I will smite the inhabitants of this city, both man and beast: they shall die of a great
pestilence." 21:6
God will deliver Zedekiah and those that survive the famine, disease, and war into Nebuchadrezzar's hand, and "he shall smite them
with the edge of the sword; he shall not spare them, neither have pity, nor have mercy. 21:7
God promises to kill everyone by war, starvation, and disease. 24:10
God will force "all the kingdoms of the world" to drink "and be
drunken". Then he'll kill "all the inhabitants of the earth" with a sword.
25:26-29
God will kill so many people that the entire earth will be covered with their dead bodies. No one is to
mourn them or even bury them; "they shall be dung upon the ground." 25:31-33
God will destroy "the peaceable habitations" and make the land desolate "because of his fierce anger."
25:37-38
Anyone who disobeys King Nebuchadnezzar will be punished "with the sword, and with the famine, and
with the pestilence, until I have consumed them by his hand." 27:8
God kills Hananiah for prophesying falsely. 28:15-17
God will send his usual blessings upon his people: "the sword, the famine, and the
pestilence." He "will make them like vile figs, that cannot be eaten, they are so
evil." 29:17-18
God will kill those who refuse listen to his prophets. 29:19
God will deliver Ahab and Zedekiah into the hands of Nebuchadrezzar "and he shall slay them
before your eyes" and Ahab will be "roasted
in the fire." 29:21-22
God will punish the children of Shemaiah for their father's false prophecy. 29:32
God litters the ground "with the dead bodies of men" that he has killed in
his anger and fury. 33:5
God threatens again to send his people the sword, pestilence, and
famine, saying he'll feed their dead bodies to the fowls and beasts of the earth.
34:17-20
All those who move to Egypt will die by the sword, famine, or pestilence. None "shall
escape from the evil" that comes directly from God. 42:15-18, 22
When God pours forth his fury and his anger, entire cities are destroyed. 44:6
God's not finished with Judah. He will bring more evil upon them. Even those Jews that flee to
Egypt will not be spared. God will hunt them down and kill them all with war, famine, and disease. 44:11-13
"I will watch over them for evil, and not for good." 44:27
The day of the Lord will be "a day of vengeance." On that day God's sword will become
drunk with blood. 46:10
God plans to drown the Philistines in a flood, and "all the men shall cry, and all the
inhabitants of the land shall howl." 47:2
God plans to kill just about everybody. "No city shall escape." 48:8
"Cursed by he that keepeth back his sword from blood." 48:10
God will destroy everyone in Moab. Fire will burn their heads,
and their sons and daughters will be taken captive. 48:42-47
God will cause the daughters of Rabbah to be burned with fire. 49:2
God will send such marvelous plagues on Edom that everyone will hiss in astonishment. 49:17
God plans to "bring evil upon" the people of Elam. He says he'll kill them all with a sword.
49:37
God says to do the usual thing to the inhabitants of "the land of Merathaim": kill them all. 50:21
God commands that all Babylonian bullocks be slaughtered, that archers shoot all Babylonians,
and that all their men be killed in war. 50:27-30
God, the pyromaniac, will personally set the fires that will
burn to death the inhabitants of entire cities. 50:32
God wants us to be his "battle axe and weapons of war" to "break in pieces the nations"
and "destroy kingdoms." 51:20
God will "break in pieces"
nations and kingdoms, horse and rider, man and woman, old and young, young man
and maid, the shepherd and his flock, husbandman and his yoke of oxen, captain
and kings. It seems that God intends to break us all into pieces. 51:21-23
God will get the Babylonians drunk and then kill them all, leading them "like lambs to the slaughter."
51:39-40
Lamentations
God tramples "as in a winepress" mighty men, young men, and virgins. 1:15-16
God mercilessly kills everyone, young and old, and causes women to eat their children.
2:20-22
God is like a bear or a lion who secretly pursues you and then tears you apart. 3:10-11
God punishes the Israelites by starving their children to death. 4:4-9
God "accomplishes his fury" by making women eat their children.
4:10-11
Ezekiel
If a good person does something wrong after God "lays a stumbling block before
him," then God will kill him. "He shall die in his sin" and whatever good he
has done will be forgotten. 3:20
God will cause the fathers to eat their sons and the sons to eat their fathers.
5:10
God will slaughter
everyone by killing one third with plagues, one third with famines, and one third
with wars. If any somehow survive, he'll send "evil beasts" to devour
them. Finally, after he's done killing, he "will be comforted." 5:11-17
God will decorate the land with the bones and dead bodies of those who worship a different god.
6:4-5
God makes his presence known by killing people with famine, disease, and war. 6:7-14
God will pour out his fury on
everyone, with pity toward none. By so doing he says that
"ye shall know that I am the Lord that smiteth." Indeed, who would else would
behave so viciously? 7:3-9
God's is mad at everyone and no one will escape his wrath. He'll kill them all with war,
disease, and starvation. "Horror shall cover them" and "they shall know that I am the Lord."
7:14-28
God promises again to slaughter everyone. He says that he will ignore them when they plead with him for mercy.
8:18
God sends a "man clothed with linen" to mark the foreheads of the men who will be saved. Apparently only men are considered
good enough to keep, the others (unmarked men, "maids", little children, and women) are to be slaughtered. God says he'll "fill
the courts with the slain" and will have pity on no one. 9:4-10
When you fall by the sword, you'll know that God is the Lord. 11:8-12
When God kills everyone in the city, then you'll know that he is the Lord. (Who else would be so cruel?)
12:15-16, 20
God gets mad at a wall and destroys it, along with those who worked on it.
13:14-15
God again vows to destroy those that dare worship something or someone other than him.
14:6-8
God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies.
14:9
When really bad things happen (like you get eaten by wild beasts, get killed in war, get
sick and die, etc.), then you'll know that it was God that did it to you.
14:13, 15, 19, 21
God will burn the inhabitants of Jerusalem to show everyone that he is the Lord.
15:6-7
For being such a whore, God punished Jerusalem by starving the Israelites and handing
them over to the Philistines. 16:17
After exposing her nakedness, God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy" and strip her naked once
more. 16:38-41
God gave the Israelites "statutes that
were not good and judgments whereby they should not live." He
"polluted" them so that he "might make them desolate" and
force them to kill and sacrifice their children "that they might
know" that he is the Lord. 20:25-26
God will set a fire in the southern kingdom that will devour everything and burn everyone. "And
all flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled it." 20:47-48
God will kill everyone -- good and bad, just and unjust. 21:3-4
"Thou shalt be for fuel to the fire; thy blood shall be in the midst of the land ... for I the LORD
have spoken it." 21:32
God will gather all of Israel and consume them in the fires of his anger. 22:20-22
God couldn't find anyone to stand up to him, so he's going to destroy everyone. 22:30-31
Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts and
bruising "the teats of their virginity." As a punishment, one sister's nakedness was
discovered, her children were taken from her, and she was killed by the sword. And the fate of the
surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears were cut off, she was made to "pluck off"
her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death.
23:1-49
God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh, saying "kindle
the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned." 24:3-14
God kills Ezekiel's wife and then tells him not to mourn her. 24:15-18
God will kill everyone that claps hands or stamps feet "against the land of Israel."
When he's done with the killing everyone will know that he is the Lord. 25:6-17
God says he will destroy Tyrus. He plans to kill everyone, but he is especially looking
forward to killing all of the women. "And her daughters which are in the field shall be slain by the sword; and
they shall know that I am the LORD." 26:1-21
Watch out or God will make you "die the deaths of the uncircumcised," which is,
no doubt, a most unpleasant death. 28:10
God says that Zidon will know that he is the Lord when he sends "pestilence and
blood into her streets." 28:22-23
God tells Ezekiel to prophesy against the pharaoh and against all Egypt. God says he will
feed the Egyptians to the birds and beasts. 29:2-5
God will punish Egypt and her allies by sending Nebuchadrezzar to "fill the land with
the slain." Then he will make "the rivers dry," sell the land to "the
wicked," make "the land waste," light fires, and kill all the young men with
the sword. 30:4-26
"And they shall know that I am the LORD, when I have set a fire in Egypt." (The Divine Pyromaniac)
30:8, 30:14, 30:16
God will vex the hearts of many people, destroy entire nations, brandish his sword, kill animals,
and cause floods. In this way people will come to know him (just before he kills them?).
32:9-15
Pharaoh and all his multitude, along with the uncircumcised, will be killed with the sword.
32:20-32
If a "righteous" person does something wrong, God will forget every good thing
that that person has ever done. Then God will kill him for the single mistake.
33:13
God will kill everyone in the cities, "and thou shalt know that I am the LORD."
35:3-4
"And I will fill his mountains with his slain men, and ye shalt know that I am the LORD."
35:6-9
God will cause each man's sword to be against his brother; he will send disease and make it
rain fire and brimstone. He says that by doing this he'll magnify and sanctify himself and let
everyone know that he is the Lord. 38:21-23
God will have birds and beasts eat human flesh and drink human blood until
they are full and drunken. 39:4, 17-20, 28
Hosea
God will induce miscarriages and kill the children of Ephraim. 9:11-12
"O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts." 9:14
"I will slay even the beloved fruit of their womb." 9:16
God will punish Israel by "dashing" together mothers and their children.
10:14
God will rip humans apart and then eat them like a lion.13:7-8
Because the Samaritans chose to worship another deity, God will dash their infants to pieces and
their "women with child shall be ripped up." 13:16
Amos
The divine pyromaniac threatens to "send fire unto" Hazael, Gaza, Tyrus, Teman,
Rabbah, Moab, and Judah. 1:4, 7, 10,
12, 14; 2:2,
5
When there is wailing and mourning, you'll know God's been there. 5:16-17
God will kill so many people that dead bodies will lay everywhere. 8:3-14
God will "slay the last of them with the sword." Any that try to escape by diving to the bottom of
the sea will be bitten, at God's command, by a serpent. God will set his "eyes upon
them for evil, not for good." 9:1-4
Obadiah
God tells Israelites to "destroy the wise men out of Edom" and to slaughter "everyone
of the mount of Esau." 8-9
God will burn all the heathen to death, "for the LORD hath spoken it." 16-18
Plucking off skin, flesh from bones, eating human flesh, flaying off skin, breaking bones,
chopping bodies in pieces, making human stew. All this and more will happen to God's favorite people. But when
they "cry unto the Lord, he will not hear them." 3:2-4
God will strengthen the Israelites so they can "beat in pieces
many peoples" and give the booty to God. 4:13
Like a young lion "the remnant of Jacob" will tear the Gentiles to pieces.
5:8
God will destroy entire cities, and "execute vengeance in anger and fury
upon the heathen such as they have not heard." 5:14-15
God will make his people sick, hungry, and desolate. Those who
survive he will "give up to the sword." 6:13-16
The Gentiles will be made deaf, shall lick dust and be forced to crawl like
worms from fear of God and his people. 7:16-17
Nahum
God doesn't just get even. He drowns his enemies. 1:8
God punished Nineveh by enslaving the people and smashing the little children in the
streets. 3:10
God says that "the fire shall devour thee, the sword shall cut thee off, it shall eat thee up like the
cankerworm." 3:15
Habakkuk
"Before him [God] went the
pestilence, and burning coals went forth at his feet." 3:3-5
Habakkuk praises God for slaughtering "the heathen." 3:12
God continues to demand animal sacrifices. And not just any animals will do. He is insulted
when blind, lame, or sick animals are killed for him. 1:8,
13-14
God will burn "the wicked" and the "righteous" will walk around on their ashes.
4:1-3
Matthew
Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12
Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old
Testament. 5:17
Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice
is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits
adultery. 5:29-30
Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19
"The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall
be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 8:12
Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters
below. 8:32
Cities that neither "receive"
the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will
be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly
did to those poor folks (see Gen.19:24).
10:14-15
Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in
the Bible that has actually come
true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the
children shall rise up against their parents,
and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
10:28
Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to
send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36
Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his
preaching. 11:20-24
Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there
shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 13:41-42, 50
Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not
washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not
killing disobedient children according to the commandment: "He that curseth
father or mother, let him die the death." (See Ex.21:15,
Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21)
So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It
sure sounds like it. 15:4-7
Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hands and plucking out their eyes. He says it's
better to be "maimed" than to suffer "everlasting fire." 18:8-9
"And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors." 18:34
In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find, both bad and
good, to come to the wedding feast. One guest didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him
into the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
22:12-13
Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the flood. It'll be just like that when he
returns. 24:37
God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder." And "there shall be weeping and
gnashing of teeth." 24:50-51
The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "outer darkness" where there will be
"weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30
Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire."
25:41
Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. 25:46
Mark
Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go to hell.
4:11-12
Jesus sends devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people
hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:12-13
Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of
Sodom and Gomorrah. 6:11
Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as required by Old Testament
law. (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21) 7:9-10
Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet, and pluck out our eyes to avoid going to hell.
9:43-49
Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved, while those who don't
will be damned. 16:16
Luke
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 3:9
Jesus will burn the damned "with fire unquenchable." 3:17
Jesus heals a naked man who was possessed by many devils by sending the devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off
a cliff and drown in the sea. This messy, cruel, and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not favorably
impress the local residents, and Jesus was asked to leave. 8:27-37
Entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitants "thrust down to hell" for not
"receiving" Jesus' disciples. 10:10-15
Jesus says that we should fear God since he has the power to kill us and then torture us forever in hell.
12:5
God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many stripes."
12:46-47
According to Jesus, only a few will be saved; the vast majority will suffer eternally in hell where "there shall be
weeping and gnashing of teeth." 13:23-30
In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, the rich man goes to hell, because as Abraham explains, he had a
good life on earth and so now he will be tormented. Whereas Lazarus, who was miserable on earth, is now in heaven.
This seems fair to Jesus. 16:19-31
Jesus believed the story of Noah's ark. He thought it really happened and had no problem with
the idea of God drowning everything and everybody. 17:26-27
Jesus also believes the story about Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus shall it be in
the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." This tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and
history, and his sense of justice. 17:29-32
In the parable of the talents, Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly his, and reaps what he didn't sow.
The parable ends with the words: "bring them [those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither, and slay
them before me." 19:22-27
John
As an example to parents everywhere and to save the world (from himself), God had his own son tortured and killed.
3:16
People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe. 3:18,
36
Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. He tells a crippled man, after healing him, to
"sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee." 5:14
Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. 15:6
Acts
Peter claims that Deuteronomy 18:18-19
refers to Jesus, saying that those who refuse to follow him (all non-Christians) must be killed.
3:23
Peter and God scare Ananias and his wife to death for not forking over all of the money that they made when
selling their land. 5:1-10
The "angel of the Lord" killed Herod by having him "eaten of worms" because "he gave not God the glory."
12:23
Paul and the Holy Ghost conspire together to make Elymas (the sorcerer) blind. 13:8-11
Romans
Homosexuals (those "without natural affection") and their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are
"worthy of death." 1:31-32
The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocent victim.
5:9
1 Corinthians
If you defile the temple of God, God will destroy you. 3:17
Paul claims that God killed 23,000 in a plague for "committing whoredom with the daughters
of Moab 10:8
If you tempt Christ (How could you tempt Christ?), you'll will die from snake bites.
10:9
If you murmur, you'll be destroyed by the destroyer (God). 10:10
Ephesians
We are predestined by God to go to either heaven or hell. None of our thoughts, words, or actions can affect
the final outcome. 1:4-5, 11
God had his son murdered to keep himself from hurting others for things they didn't do. 1:7
2 Thessaloinans
Jesus will take "vengeance on them that know not God" by burning them forever "in flaming fire."
1:7-9
Jesus will "consume" the wicked "with the spirit of his mouth." 2:8
God will cause us to believe lies so that he can damn our souls to hell. 2:11-12
Hebrews
God will not forgive us unless we shed the blood of some innocent creature. 9:13-14, 22
Those who disobeyed the Old Testament law were killed without mercy. It will be much worse for those who displease
Jesus. 10:28-29
2 Peter
God drowned everyone else on earth except for Noah and his family. 2:5, 3:6
God will set the entire earth on fire so that he can burn non-believers to death. 3:7
When Jesus returns, he'll burn up the whole earth and everything on it. 3:10
Repent -- or else Jesus will fight you with the sword that sticks out of his mouth. (Like the limbless knight in
Monty Python's "Holy Grail.") 2:16
"I [Jesus] will kill her children with death." 2:23
God gives someone on a white horse a bow and sends him out to conquer people.
6:2
God gave power to someone on a red horse "to take from the earth ... that they should kill one another."
6:4
God tells Death and Hell to kill one quarter of the earth's
population with the sword, starvation, and "with the beasts of the earth." 6:8
The martyrs just can't wait until everyone else is slaughtered. God gives them a white robe
and tells them to wait until he's done with his killing spree. 6:10-11
144,000 Jews will be going to heaven; everyone else is going to hell.
7:4
Those that survive the great tribulation will get to wash their clothes in the blood of the
lamb. 7:14
"Many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter." 8:11
The angels are instructed not to "hurt the grass [how could they? He already had all the grass killed in 8:7] ...
but only those men which have not the seal of God on their foreheads." God tells his angels not to kill them, but rather
torment them with scorpions for five months. Those tormented will want to die, but God won't let them.
9:4-6
God makes some horse-like locusts with human heads, women's hair, lion's teeth, and scorpion's tails. They
sting people and hurt them for five months. 9:7-10
Four angels, with an army of 200 million, killed a third of the earth's population. 9:15-19
Anyone that messes with God's two olive trees and
two candlesticks (God's witnesses) will be burned to death by fire that comes out of their mouths.
11:3-5
God's witnesses have special powers. They can shut up heaven so that it cannot rain, turn rivers
into blood, and smite the earth with plagues "as often as they will." 11:6
Their dead bodies lie unburied for three and a half days. People will "rejoice over them
and make merry, and shall send gifts to one another." After another three and
half days God brings his witnesses back to life and they ascend into heaven.
11:8-12
When the witnesses ascend into heaven, an earthquake kills 7000 men. This was the second woe. "The
third woe cometh quickly." 11:13-14
Those who receive the mark of the beast will "drink of the wine of the wrath of God ... and shall be
tormented with fire and brimstone ... and the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever."
14:10-11
"The great winepress of the wrath of God ... was trodden ... and the blood cam out of the winepress, even unto
the horses bridles." 14:19-20
Seven angels with seven plagues are filled with the wrath of God. 15:1,
15:7
The seven vials of wrath: 1) sores, 2) sea turned to blood, 3) rivers turned to blood, 4) people scorched with
fire, 5) people gnaw their tongues in pain, 6) Euphrates dries up, 7) thunder, lightning, earthquake, and hail.
16:1-21
God gave the saints and prophets blood to drink. 16:6
"They shall eat her flesh and burn her with fire." (Are they going to eat her first and then
burn her?) 17:16-17
To punish her God will send plagues and famine, and "she will be utterly burned with fire."
18:8
God will send plagues, death, and famine on Babylon, and the kings "who have committed
fornication with her" will be sad to see her burn. 18:8-9
With eyes aflame, many crowns on his head, clothes dripping with blood, a sword sticking
out of his mouth, and a secret name, Jesus leads the faithful into holy war.
19:12-15
"Come ... unto the supper of the great God." An angel calls all the fowls to feast
upon the flesh of dead horses and human bodies, "both free and bond, both small and great."
19:17-18
The beast and the false prophet are cast alive into a lake of fire. The rest were killed with the sword of
Jesus. "And all the fowls were filled with their flesh." 19:20-21
God will send fire from heaven to devour people. And the devil will be tormented "day and night for ever
and ever." 20:9-10
Whoever isn't found listed in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire. 20:15
All liars, as well as those who are fearful or unbelieving, will be cast into "the lake which burneth with fire and
brimstone." 21:8
Cruelty in the Bible (Short List)
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