Apocrypha: Intolerance

    1 Machabees

  1. Mathathias showed his "zeal for the law" by murdering a man on the altar along with an officer of Antiochus. 2:24-25

  2. Matthathias and his friends gathered an army, slew the sinners, threw down altars, and valiantly circumcised all the uncircumcised children they could find. 2:39-48

  3. "Revenge ye the wrong of your people ... Render to the Gentiles their reward."
    Take revenge on the Gentiles. Kill them all. 2:67-68

  4. Judas Machabeus replaced his father (Mathathias) as the leader of the Jewish terrorists. His first act was to burn "them that troubled his people" (with fire). 3:1-5

  5. "He went through the cities of Juda, and destroyed the wicked out of them." 3:8

  6. Then Judas and his brethren attacked the children of Esau, burned walls and towers in Chebron, destroyed the all the altars and statues in the land of the aliens and strangers, and took the spoils of their cities. 5:65-68

  7. The Israelite priests weep and pray in the temple, asking God to let Nicanor and his army fall by the sword for their blasphemies. 7:36-38

  8. Judas asked God to kill the Nicanor's soldiers the way he killed 185,000 in Sennacherib's army. (Sennacherib supposedly blasphemed God, so God killed 185,000 of his soldiers while they were sleeping. Very resourceful!) 7:40-42

  9. So God helped Judas kill Nicanor and his army. First they killed Nicanor and the rest was easy. All of Nicanor's soldiers threw down their weapons and ran away. The Israelites slaughtered them all as they ran. Then they cut off Nicanor's head and hand and hung them up over Jerusalem. "And the people rejoiced exceedingly, and they spent that day with great joy." (Nothing can cheer God's people up more than a hanging head and hand.) 7:43-48

  10. "The heathens were taken away out of their country." 14:36

    2 Machabees

  11. "Acting wickedly against the laws of God doth not pass unpunished" 4:17

  12. "Andronicus ... the sacrilegious wretch should be put to death, the Lord repaying him his deserved punishment." 4:39

  13. "Lysimachus ... as for the sacrilegious fellow himself, they slew him beside the treasury." 4:41-42

  14. Judas Machabeus, with the help and approval of God, destroys the altars of the heathens. 10:1-2

  15. Timotheus fled to a strong hold, where he and his companions "blasphemed exceedingly, and cast forth abominable words. Twenty of Judas's young men were especially offended by their bad language, so they burned the blasphemers alive. After that, they blessed the Lord who helped them burn Gentiles alive. 10:32-38

  16. "They found under the coats of they slain some of the donaries of the idols of Jamnia, which the law forbiddeth to the Jews: so that all plainly saw, that for this cause they were slain." 12:40

  17. "The most valiant Judas exhorted the people to keep themselves from sin, forasmuch as they saw before their eyes what had happened, because of the sins of those that were slain." 12:42

  18. The chief priest (Alcimus) defiled himself by "mingling with the heathens." 14:3

  19. After Onias prayed for the people, Jeremiah the prophet showed up, delivering to Judas a gift from God: a holy, golden, gentile-killing sword. 15:12-16

  20. Judas reminds the people of how good God is at killing people. After all, didn't he send an angel to kill 185,000 sleeping soldiers? Maybe, if they ask him nicely, he'll send another "good angel" to terrorize and kill blasphemers again. 15:21-24


  21. Because the Israelites didn't obeying him, God delivered them to their enemies' hand. 2:4-5

  22. The book of Baruch ends with a long boring warning to the Jews. Don't even look at any other gods, or God will enslave you for another seven generations. 6:3-72


  23. "The Lord ... commanded that there should be two lots, one of the people of God, and the other of all the nations."
    God likes Jews more than everyone else. 10:10

  24. "The Lord remembered his people."
    (By having them murder thousands of people.) 10:10

  25. "The nation of the just ... cried to God ... and they devoured the glorious."
    "The nation of the just" is, of course, the Jews. They cry to God and God helps them kill everyone else. 11:9-11

  26. "What God would do?"
    (He would help the Jews kill non-Jews.) 11:12

  27. Esther calls upon God and God softens the king's heart (so that he'd murder thousands of non-Jews). 15:3-11

  28. The king decrees that Haman and his family shall hang; that everyone in the kingdom who wanted to kill the Jews shall be killed; that whoever refuses to kill the people that wanted to kill Jews will be killed by sword and fire; and that everyone will celebrate the killing of the wannabe Jew killers forever. 16:10-18


  29. "The Lord our God will require our blood of the afflictions of our enemies, and he will humble all the nations that shall rise up against us, and bring them to disgrace." 8:20

  30. The Israelites murmured against the Lord, so God sent snakes to bite and kill them. 8:24-25

  31. "O Lord God of my father Simeon, who gavest him a sword to execute vengeance against strangers, who had defiled by their uncleanness, and uncovered the virgin unto confusion: And who gavest their wives to be made a prey, and their daughters into captivity ... who were zealous with thy zeal: assist ... me."
    God not only approved of the Shechem massacre, he gave Simeon the sword to do it with. Judith asks God to help her to go and do likewise. 9:2-3

  32. Judith prays that God will drown her enemies, like he did the Egyptians. 9:6-9

  33. "Give me constancy in my mind, that I may despise him ... For this will be a glorious monument for thy name, when he shall fall by the hand of a woman." 9:14-15

  34. "God ... hath cut off the head of all the unbelievers this night by my hand." 13:27-20


  35. Because of King Sennacherib's blasphemy, God slaughtered lots of Israelite. 1:21

  36. God plans to kill everyone in the city of Niniveh. 14:6


  37. "Inquisition shall be made into the thoughts of the ungodly ... to the chastising of his iniquities." 1:9

  38. Torture and kill whoever claims to be the son of God. (Jesus got what he deserved according to the book of Wisdom.) 2:19-20

  39. The children of adulterers shall not come to perfection, and the seed of the unlawful bed shall be rooted out." 3:16
  40. "Dreadful are the ends of a wicked race." 3:19
  41. "She delivered the just man [Lot]" and killed everyone else with fire and brimstone. (Genesis 19:24) 10:6
  42. Instead of a fountain of an ever running river, thou gavest human blood to the unjust. (Exodus 17:17-24) 11:7
  43. God tormented the wicked adversaries of the Israelites, whether present or absent. 11:9-12
  44. God sent bears, lions, and unknown fire-breathing beasts, sending out stinking smoke or shooting sparks from their eyes. 11:16-20
  45. God torments people who have foolish religious beliefs. 12:23
  46. "The idol that is made by hands, is cursed, as well it, as he that made it." 14:8
  47. "To God the wicked and his wickedness are hateful alike."
    God hates the sinner as much as the sin. 14:9