The gospel of Matthew begins with a boring
genealogy like that we are told to avoid in 1 Tim.1:4
("Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies") and Tit.3:9 ("Avoid foolish questions and
genealogies"). 1:1-17
Judah "went in unto" his
daughter-in-law, Tamar, who was disguised as a prostitute. She conceived and
bore Pharez, an ancestor of Jesus. (Gen.38:2-29)
1:3
There are 29 generations listed from David to
Jesus in Matthew's genealogy, while Luke's (3:23-31)
has 43. Except for David at one end and Jesus at the other, there are only three names in the
two lists that are the same. 1:6-16
John has a good point in v.14. If Jesus is the sinless Son of God, then
shouldn't Jesus be baptizing John instead of the reverse? Isn't baptism supposed to forgive sins and be a sign of repentance?
If so, then why would Jesus need to be baptized? And what the heck is "it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness" supposed to
mean? 3:14-15
The Son of God is led by the Spirit of God to be tempted by the devil.
4:1
Jesus forbids the taking of any kind of
oath. Yet Christians in courtrooms throughout the United States place their right hand on the Bible
swear to tell the truth. 5:34-37
"But if thine eye be evil...." There's nothing worse than an evil eye. 6:23
"Behold the fowls of the air...." Jesus says that God feeds them. But, if so, he does one hell of a lousy job at it. Most
birds die before leaving the nest, and the few who manage to fly soon die painful deaths of starvation, predation, or disease.
If God is caring for them, pray that he stays away from you. 6:26
Ask, and it shall be given you." Mark Twain said there are "upwards of a thousand lies" in the Bible. But this is probably the biggest.
How many desperate, frightened, broken-hearted parents have watched their children die while begging
God to help? 7:7-8
The devils confess that Jesus is the Son of
God. According to 1 Jn.4:15 ("Whosoever
shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in
God"), then, God dwells in the devils and the devils in God. 8:29
After Jesus kills the herd of pigs by sending devils into them, the "whole city" asks him to leave. I don't
blame them. 8:34
"Thy faith hath made thee whole."
If you have enough faith, you will never get sick. (Illness is caused by sin and lack of faith.
Medical science is unnecessary.) 9:22
Jesus gives his disciples "power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness."
10:1
Jesus tells his disciples to perform all the usual tricks: "heal the sick, cleanse the lepers,
raise the dead, and cast out devils." 10:8
Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come
true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents,
and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
God is involved in the death of every sparrow. He sees to it that they each die
painful deaths of starvation, predation, or disease. But don't worry. God will do the same for you. (He thinks that humans
are worth much more than sparrows.) 10:29. 31
"Whosoever shall deny me before men,
him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." According to the
gospels (Mt.26:69-75, Mk.14:66-72,
Lk.22:55-62, Jn.15:18-27),
Peter denied Jesus three times before men. Therefore Jesus must have denied
Peter before God. 10:33
John the Baptist is still not sure about Jesus (he's in prison and is soon to die). He sends his disciples to ask, "Art thou he
that should come, or do we look for another?" Well, if he isn't sure after seeing and hearing the events at Jesus' baptism, then
how can anyone else be? 11:3
John the Baptist was the greatest man ever to live (even greater than Jesus), but "he that is least in the kingdom of
heaven is greater than he." 11:11
"And from the days of John the Baptist until
now...." Until when? (John the Baptist was still alive when this
verse was supposedly uttered.) Jesus continues to bewilder his poor disciples by
saying, "The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it
by force." 11:12
Jesus believed in the literal truth of the fish story in Jonah. 12:40
Jesus predicts that he will be "in the heart of the earth" for three days and
three nights. If by this he meant that he would be in the tomb for three days and three nights, then either he was mistaken or
the gospels are in error. Because according to the gospels (this is one of the few things they all seem to agree on), Jesus
was in the tomb for only one day and two nights. 12:40
When an unclean spirit (whatever that may be) leaves a person's body, he goes out to find another. Not finding
any, he comes back with seven other spirits more wicked than himself and repossesses the person.
12:43-45
Jesus is rejected by those who know him the best -- the people of his home town of Nazareth.
13:55-57
Herod thought Jesus was a resurrected John the
Baptist. Apparently, it was a common opinion at the time (See Mt.16.13-14, Mk.6:14-15, 8:27-28, Lk.9:7-8, 18-19). If so many of Jesus' contemporaries could be
so easily fooled regarding John the Baptist, what does this do to the
credibility of Jesus' resurrection? 14:1-2
"Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea."
Jesus and Peter walk on water. You can too, if you have more than a little faith.
14:25
The disciples wonder where they will get the
bread to feed four thousand. But they should know by now, since Jesus just did
the same trick in 14:14-21. These stories are probably
the result of two oral versions of the same fictitious story. 15:33
Opinions were divided regarding the identity of Jesus, but many thought that he was the risen John the Baptist.
The fact that people could be so easily fooled regarding the Baptist's "resurrection" casts doubt on the resurrection of
Jesus. 16:14
When Peter expressed his dismay when Jesus announced his coming death, Jesus said to
him "Get thee behind me,
Satan" -- a fine way to address his holiness, the first pope! 16:23
"Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall
find it."
If you want to stay alive, you must lose your life (kill yourself?) for Jesus' sake.
16:25
Jesus says that Elijah, whom he believes is John the Baptist, will come and "restore all things." But what things did
John the Baptist restore? 17:11
If your faith is great enough, you can move mountains around. 17:20
Jesus tells Peter to pay his taxes with a coin that he'll find in the mouth of the first fish that he catches from the sea.
17:27
"There be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is
able to receive it, let him receive it." Dangerous words from a guy who recommends
cutting of body parts if they cause you to sin (Mt.5:29-30,
Mt.18:8-9, Mk.9:43-48). It
might make someone castrate himself so that he could be one of the 144,000 male
virgins, who alone will make it to heaven (Rev.14:3-4).
19:12
Jesus lists the "ten commandments," but his list has only six, and the sixth is not one of the ten. The
commandments given by Jesus are secular, not religious, in nature. 19:18
Rich people don't go to heaven. For as Jesus says, "It is easier for a camel to go
through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 19:23
Jesus tells his apostles, "ye shall sit upon the twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel." I wonder which
tribe Judas is judging? 19:28
Matthew has Jesus ride into Jerusalem sitting on both an ass and a colt (must have taken some
practice!). 21:2-7
Jesus curses a fig tree and the tree dies immediately (showing the world
how much God Hates Figs). But in Mark's
gospel (11:14, 20-21) the cursed fig tree doesn't
die until the next morning. 21:19-20
If your faith is great enough, you can not only kill fig trees but move mountains around, too.
Whatever you ask for you will receive. (O Lord, won't ya buy me a Mercedes-Benz?)
21:21-22
"What shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world? ... Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and
there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes."
The end of the world will be signaled by wars, famines, disease, and earthquakes. 24:3, 7
If you see the abomination of desolation in the holy place, try to understand. God is trying to say
something. 24:15
"Let them which be in Judea flee into the mountains." Why? Can't God find and kill them there, too?
24:16
Jesus says there will be "false
Christs" that will "show great signs and wonders." Well, Jesus
himself according to Acts 2:22 fits this
description. 24:24
Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. 26:26-28
"I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine,
until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom."
WooHoo! There will be wine to drink in heaven. 26:29
The phrase "unto this day" shows that the gospel of Matthew was written long after the events it describes.
27:8, 28:15
When Jesus died,
"the graves were opened; and
many bodies of the saints" arose. But they stayed in their graves until
Jesus rose from the dead, when they began to walk around, appearing to many in
Jerusalem. 27:53-54
"Unclean spirits" confess that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. If
1 Jn.4:2 is true, then these "unclean spirits" are of
God. 1:23-24
Jesus rebukes the "unclean spirit" for saying that Jesus is "the holy one of God."
1:25
Jesus casts out more devils and tells them not to reveal who he is. 1:32-34
More "unclean spirits" confess that Jesus is "the son of God."
1 Jn.4:2 says that all such spirits are of God. 3:11
Although the disciples weren't sure about Jesus even after his alleged resurrection, the "unclean spirits" knew that
he was "the son of God." But Jesus told them not to tell anyone. 3:11-12
Jesus gives his apostles the power to heal sickness and "cast out devils." 3:15
The scribes think that Jesus casts out devils by the power of the p
rince of devils, Beelzebub. 3:22
A man possessed with "an unclean spirit" recognizes Jesus as the son of God. According
to 1 Jn.4:2, 15, this man must have been "of God."
5:7
Jesus sends devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people
hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:12-13
"A certain woman ... had an issue of blood twelve years...."
So this is where all those phony faith-healing stories came from! Notice that the doctors made her condition worse, but she was instantly cured
by faith. 5:25-29
"Virtue had gone out of him."
Jesus loses some virtue whenever sick women touch him. 5:30
"Thy faith hath made thee whole." If you have enough faith, you will never get sick.
(Illness is caused by sin and lack of faith. Medical science is unnecessary.) 5:34
Jesus is rejected by those who knew him the best, the people from his home town of Nazareth. 6:3
Jesus sends out his apostles, two by two, to cast out "unclean spirits." 6:7
"And they cast out many devils, and anointed with oil many that were sick, and healed them."
6:13
There was much disagreement and confusion about Jesus' identity. Some thought he was Elijah or one of the
prophets. And some (like Herod in this verse) thought he was the risen John the Baptist, even though John had just recently
died and the people must have known what he looked like. 6:14-15
Jesus puts his fingers in a deaf man's ears, then spits and touches the deaf man's tongue. 7:33
The disciples ought to know by now where they can get enough food to feed a few thousand. After
all, Jesus had just done it before (6:34-44). This "doublet" was probably
the result of two oral traditions of the same event. 8:4
Jesus' spit did not completely cure the blind. So Jesus tried again. He put his hands on the man's
eyes and, this time, the blind man "saw every man clearly." 8:24-25
There were various opinions about the identity of Jesus. Some thought he was Elijah or one of the prophets. And
many thought he was a risen John the Baptist. With credulity like that just about anyone could later be passed off as the
risen Christ. 8:27-28
"Get thee behind me, Satan." When Peter expressed his dismay about Jesus'
coming death, Jesus said to him "Get thee behind me,
Satan" -- a fine way to address his holiness, the first pope! 8:33
Jesus heals a boy with "a dumb spirit" by saying, "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge
thee, come out of him and enter no more into him." (Sounds like a script from Monty Python,
doesn't it?) But how could a deaf spirit hear the words spoken to it? And how could a dumb spirit cry out?
9:17, 25-26
"All things are possible to him that believeth." 9:23
The disciples saw some others that they didn't
know "casting out devils" in Jesus' name. (It was a popular sport back in those days.)
9:38
Immortal worms: "Where their worm dieth not" 9:44, 46, 48
Jesus implies that he is neither good nor God. 10:18
When Jesus lists the Ten Commandments, he only mentions five -- the humanistic ones that make no mention
of God. He also gives one that is not included in the so-called Ten Commandments: "defraud not."
10:19
Jesus says that rich people cannot go to heaven. For "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than
for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 10:25
Jesus kills a fig tree for not bearing figs, even though it was out of season.
He did this to show the world how much God hates figs.
11:13-14
If you do "not doubt in your heart" you can cast a mountain into the sea (or kill a fig tree,
or whatever). 11:23-24
"The beginnings of sorrows."
The end of the world will be marked with wars, famines, and earthquakes. (Thank God for that helpful hint!) 13:8
"In those days ... the moon shall not give her light, and
the stars of heaven shall fall." Of course this is nonsense. The billions of stars will never
fall to earth and the moon does not produce its own light. 13:24-25
There are some things that Jesus doesn't know -- like when the end of the world will come.
13:32
Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. 14:22-24
One of the followers of Jesus was a young, nearly naked man who dropped his linen cloth and "fled from them
naked" when the priests came to arrest Jesus. 14:51-52
"He is risen."
Jesus came back to life after being dead for a while. 16:6
"After that he appeared in another form."
Jesus transformed himself into a different form, appearing as a completely different person. (Maybe the
disciples saw another person and assumed it was Jesus.) 16:12
The true followers of Christ routinely perform the following tricks: 1) cast out devils, 2)speak in tongues, 3) take up
serpents, 4) drink poisons without harm, and 5) cure the sick by touching them.
16:17-18
"He shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb."
John the Baptist was "filled with the Holy Ghost" even as a fetus! 1:15
God strikes Zacharias dumb for doubting the angel Gabriel's words.
1:20
John the Baptist, while still a fetus, leaped for joy when he heard the
voice of Mary. 1:44
How could an omniscient being "increase in wisdom"? And how could God increase "in favour with God."?
2:52
In Luke's gospel, God addresses Jesus directly saying, "Thou art my beloved son." But Matthew (3:17) has God
speak to those witnessing Jesus' baptism, by saying: "This is my beloved son." Whatever the exact wording, it is
strange that after witnessing this even, John the Baptist is still unsure about Jesus
(Mt.11:2-3, Lk.7:19). 3:22
The devil takes Jesus to the top of a mountain and shows him "all the kingdoms of the world." I guess the world
was flat in those days. 4:5
Devils crawl out of people proclaiming that Jesus is "Christ the Son of God." According to 1 Jn.4:2, 15, these devils were "of God." 4:41
Jesus heals people that are "vexed with unclean spirits." 6:18
Invite someone that has hit you to do it again, and if
someone steals from you offer them something additional. Don't turn
down any borrowers (Do Christian bankers follow this one?), and when
you loan something don't ask for it back. 6:29-30
"And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak." 7:12-15
John the Baptist, who is about to die, is still unsure about Jesus. He sends his disciples to Jesus asking: "Art
thou he that should come? or look we for another?" Well, if he's not sure, how can anyone else be?
7:19
Jesus removes seven devils from the body of Mary Magdalene. 8:2
"Thy faith hath made thee whole."
If you have enough faith, you will never get sick. (Illness is caused by sin and lack of faith.
Medical science is unnecessary.) 8:48
Jesus gives his disciples "power and authority over all devils." 9:1
There were various opinions about the identity of Jesus. Some thought he was Elijah or one of the prophets;
others that he was the risen John the Baptist. With such a credulous populace, is it surprising that some people would
later claim, and probably even believe, that they had seen the risen Christ? 9:7-8
Jesus falsely predicts that some of his listeners would live to see him return and establish the kingdom of God.
9:27
Jesus raises Moses and Elijah from the dead and has a conversation
with them. 9:30
James and John ask Jesus if they can call down
fire from heaven to consume the Samaritans who didn't much care for Jesus'
teaching. They'd like to kill people the way Elijah did. But shucks, Jesus won't
let them. 9:54
The disciples are thrilled that "even the devils are subject" to them.
10:17-18
"I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions ... and nothing shall by
any means hurt you." 10:19
Jesus thanks God that only the ignorant and foolish will listen to him. 10:21
People who cannot speak are possessed with devils. 11:14
Jesus says it is impossible to get rid of unclean spirits. If you manage to evict one, he'll soon return with
seven others "more wicked than himself" and you'll be worse off than you were before. So just learn to live with
whatever unclean spirits that are currently possessing you. 11:24-26
Jesus calls his critics fools, thus making himself, by his own standards (Mt.5:22),
worthy of "hell fire." 11:40
Jesus tells his followers to sell everything they own and give the money to the poor.
12:33
"That which is highly esteemed among men [love, wisdom, honesty, courage,
truth, beauty, etc.] is an abomination in the sight of God." 16:15
Those with little faith can pluck trees up by their roots and cast them into the sea. 17:6
Jesus believes the story of Noah's ark. I guess you should too. 17:27
Jesus also believes the story about Noah's flood and Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus shall it be in
the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." This tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and
history. 17:29-32
"Thou knowest the commandments." But apparently Jesus didn't, since he only named five of the Ten Commandments.
(Notice that the five on Jesus' list are the secular ones that make no mention of God.) 18:20
Rich people cannot go to heaven. "For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a
rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." 18:25
Jesus says that everyone will hate Christians, and some Christians will be killed, yet no Christian will be
harmed in any way. 21:16-18
"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars."
21:25
"That ye may ... sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel."
Which tribe will Judas judge? 22:30
"He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." (Have you bought your Jesus
sword yet?) 22:36
Jesus tells the "good thief" that they will both be in heaven "today." But how can that be since it's only Friday
and, according to the gospels, Jesus lay dead in the tomb Friday night and all day Saturday.
23:43
"He ... is risen."
Jesus came back to life after being dead for a while. 24:6
When Mary Magdalene and the other women gave their account of the resurrection to the apostles "their words
seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not." 24:11
Two of Jesus' disciples failed to recognize him after his supposed resurrection. Maybe that was because the
person they saw wasn't really Jesus. 24:16
John baptizes Jesus and declares him to be "the Son of God." But later, as he is about to be beheaded, John
is no longer sure what to think about Jesus. So he sends his own disciples to ask, "Art thou he that should come, or do
we look for another?" (Mt.11:3) Well, if he isn't sure after seeing and hearing the events at Jesus' baptism, then how
can anyone else be? 1:29-35
Jesus' first miracle was to turn water into wine. 2:9
Whoever enters a pool after it is stirred up by angels will be cured of "whatsoever disease he had."
5:4
Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. He tells a crippled man, after healing him, to
"sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee." 5:14
"All that are in the graves shall hear his voice." 5:28
Jesus claims that Moses wrote about him. Where? It's a shame he didn't give us chapter and verse.
5:46
The people of Nazareth, who knew Jesus well, did not believe in him. 6:42
Jesus says we must eat his flesh and drink his blood if we want to have eternal life. This idea was just too gross for "many of his disciples" and "walked no more
with him." 6:53-66
Jesus chose "a devil" for an apostle. Oh well, everyone makes mistakes. 6:70
Jesus accuses people of trying to kill him. But they say to him, "Thou hast a devil:
who goeth about to kill thee?" 7:19-20
"We be not born of fornication" -- implying that Jesus was. 8:41
After Jesus makes the foolish claim that those who believe in him will never die, his listeners reply, "now we
know that thou hast a devil." 8:52
Jesus spits on the ground, mixes his spit with the dirt, and rubs the muddy spit on a blind man's eyes.
9:6
A blind man's sight is restored by washing in the pool of Siloam. 9:7
"All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers." All the prophets, kings, and heroes of the Old Testament;
everyone that ever lived before him was a thief and a robber. 10:8
Many of those who saw Jesus firsthand thought he was mad and possessed by a
devil. 10:10
"Lazarus, come forth. And he that was dead came forth."
11:43
You must hate your life in order to keep it. (If you love your life, you'll go to hell after you die.)
12:25
Those who believe in Jesus will be able to perform even greater miracles
than he did! 14:2
Jesus says that whatever you ask either him or his father for you will receive. Now how's
that for a big lie? 14:13-14, 15:7,
15:16, 16:23
Now that Jesus has come, non-believers have no excuse for not believing in him. 15:22
He that hateth me hateth my Father also."
Oh, that's a good one. If you don't like Jesus, then you don't like God. (You're a damned God hater.) 15:23
"She [Mary Magdalene] ... knew not that it was Jesus." (Maybe it wasn't Jesus.) 20:14
"When the doors were shut ... came Jesus and stood in the midst."
After his resurrection, Jesus could walk through walls. 20:19, 26
Those who heard the apostles speaking in tongues thought they were drunk.
2:13
Peter says that their strange behavior (speaking in tongues, etc.) was to be expected since they were living in
"the last days." 2:17
"The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood."
It happens with every solar or lunar eclipse. 2:20
Jesus did a little time in hell. I'm not sure what for. 2:31
The early Christians were the first communists, living a life that was the exact opposite of George
Bush's
"ownership
society." 2:44-45
"Peter and John ... were unlearned and ignorant men." 4:13
"When they had prayed, the place was shaken." 4:31
The sick were healed just by touching the shadow of Peter. 5:15-16
A group of Christian communists were released from jail by an angel. 5:19
It took the Israelites 40 years to travel from Egypt to Canaan, yet such a journey, even at that time,
would have taken no more than ten days. 7:36, 13:18
Philip made "unclean spirits" scream as they left the bodies of the people they possessed.
8:7
The Spirit caught Philip and transported him to a city miles away.
8:39-40
Peter describes the vision that he had in the last chapter (10:10-13). All kinds of beasts,
creeping things, and fowls drop down from the sky in a big sheet, and a voice (God's, Satan's?) tells him to "Arise,
Peter; slay and eat." 11:5-6
Open Sesame
"They came unto the iron gate that leadeth unto the city; which opened to them of his own accord."
12:10
"It is his angel."
The Christians pray for Peter, but when he shows up, they don't believe it. They think he was "his
angel" instead. (Everyone has an angel that looks just like them.) 12:12-15
"And the people gave a shout, saying, It is the voice of a god, and not of
a man."
When Herod gave his speech the people shouted, "It is the voice of God, and not a man."
12:20
"Then the deputy, when he saw what was done, believed."
When the deputy saw that God could (through Paul) make people blind, he believed. (Who else
shows off their power by blinding people?) 13:12
The author of Acts talks about the "sure mercies of David." But David was anything but merciful. For
an example of his behavior see 2 Sam.12:31 and
1 Chr.20:3, where he saws, hacks, and burns to death the inhabitants of
several cities. 13:34
The people of Lystra thought Paul and Barnabas were the gods, Jupiter and Mercurius. 14:11-12
Paul "was forbidden of the Holy Ghost to preach the word in Asia." 16:6
Paul meets "a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination." 16:16
Paul and Silas were rescued by an earthquake that opened all the doors of the prison. The same thing happens in
The Da Vinci Code where the character involved even
receives a new name (Silas) to commemorate the event. 16:26
The philosophers in Athens considered Paul a "babbler" who worshipped strange gods.
17:18
Paul, a guy who converted to Christianity because he heard voices, calls
the Greeks too darned superstitious. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! 17:22
"The school of Tyrannus" is the only school that is ever mentioned in the Bible.
19:9
After only two years of preaching, everyone in Asia had heard the word of the Lord!
19:10
Sick people were cured by touching the handkerchief or apron of Paul. And the evil spirits when out of them."
19:12
Evil spirits know Jesus and Paul. They also jump on people and strip them of their clothes.
19:15-16
A great multitude cry out "all with one voice" for two hours saying, "Great is Diana of the Ephesians."
19:34
Eutychus was the first casualty of many long boring sermons. But Paul raised him back
to life by falling on and embracing him. 20:9-12
"A certain prophet, named Agabus ... took Paul's girdle, and bound his own hands an feet."
21:10-11
Paul, that "pestilent fellow," is described as a "ringleader of the sect of Nazarenes." 24:5
Paul is bitten by a poisonous snake and yet lives. The "barbarians" who were shipwrecked with him thought
he must be a murderer since he was bitten; but then they changed their minds and thought him to be a god since he
didn't die. 28:3-6
By praying and touching the sick people of Malta, Paul cures them of their diseases.
28:8-9
The Jews of Rome refer to Paul's religion as a sect. 28:22
Paul asks the very good question: "Is there unrighteousness who taketh vengeance [upon innocent people]?" The
obvious answer to this is, yes. Paul then quickly adds, "I speak as a man." What else could he speak as? A donkey or a
god, perhaps? 3:5
Paul says that Abraham needed God's help to father Isaac when he was 100 years old. But Abraham, when he was
even older, managed to father six more children with a new wife without any divine assistance
(Gen.21:2, 25:1-2). 4:19
The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocent victim.
5:9
God punishes everyone for someone else's sin; then he saves them by killing an innocent victim.
5:12
God gave the law so "that the offence might abound." 5:20
Absurdities in the New Testament
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