Isaiah
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Isaiah 34

34:1 Come near, ye nations, to hear; and hearken, ye people: let the earth hear, and all that is therein; the world, and all things that come forth of it. (34:2a) "His fury upon all their armies."
Does God ever get furious?

(34:2b-3) "He hath delivered them to the slaughter ... their stink shall come up out of their carcases, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood."

34:2 For the indignation of the LORD is upon all nations, and his fury upon all their armies: he hath utterly destroyed them, he hath delivered them to the slaughter.
34:3 Their slain also shall be cast out, and their stink shall come up out of their carcases, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood.
34:4 And all the host of heaven shall be dissolved, and the heavens shall be rolled together as a scroll: and all their host shall fall down, as the leaf falleth off from the vine, and as a falling fig from the fig tree. (34:4) "The host of heaven shall be dissolved, and the heavens shall be rolled together as a scroll: and all their host shall fall down."
The stars will dissolve and fall from the sky.
34:5 For my sword shall be bathed in heaven: behold, it shall come down upon Idumea, and upon the people of my curse, to judgment. (34:5-8) The sword of the Lord

(34:5) "My sword shall be bathed in heaven ... it shall come down ... upon the people of my curse."

(34:6) "The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness ... and a great slaughter."
What the Bible says about Fat People

(34:7) "Their land shall be soaked with blood."

(34:7) "The unicorns shall come down with them."

(34:8) "For it is the day of the LORD's vengeance."

(34:9-10) God, the antii-environmentalist

(34:9) "The streams thereof shall be turned into pitch, and the dust thereof into brimstone, and the land thereof shall become burning pitch."

(34:10) "It shall not be quenched night nor day; the smoke thereof shall go up for ever: from generation to generation it shall lie waste ... for ever and ever."

34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.
34:7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.
34:8 For it is the day of the LORD's vengeance, and the year of recompences for the controversy of Zion.
34:9 And the streams thereof shall be turned into pitch, and the dust thereof into brimstone, and the land thereof shall become burning pitch.
34:10 It shall not be quenched night nor day; the smoke thereof shall go up for ever: from generation to generation it shall lie waste; none shall pass through it for ever and ever.
34:11 But the cormorant and the bittern shall possess it; the owl also and the raven shall dwell in it: and he shall stretch out upon it the line of confusion, and the stones of emptiness.
34:12 They shall call the nobles thereof to the kingdom, but none shall be there, and all her princes shall be nothing.
34:13 And thorns shall come up in her palaces, nettles and brambles in the fortresses thereof: and it shall be an habitation of dragons, and a court for owls. (34:13-14) "It shall be an habitation of dragons ... and the satyr shall cry to his fellow."
Dragons and satyrs may not seem real to you, but they did to the author of these verses.
34:14 The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the wild beasts of the island, and the satyr shall cry to his fellow; the screech owl also shall rest there, and find for herself a place of rest.
34:15 There shall the great owl make her nest, and lay, and hatch, and gather under her shadow: there shall the vultures also be gathered, every one with her mate.
34:16 Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them.
34:17 And he hath cast the lot for them, and his hand hath divided it unto them by line: they shall possess it for ever, from generation to generation shall they dwell therein.

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Dwindling in Unbelief
Hillary Clinton: "I think the whole Bible is real." (Isaiah 34:2-3)
Some suggestions for the next Left Behind game (34:2-3)
Some suggested verses for U.S Military Jesus Guns (34:2-3)
All the Fat is the Lord's: What the Bible says about Fat People (34:6)
The sword of the Lord is filled with blood (34:1-6)
Drunk with Blood: It's one of God's favorite expressions (34:5-6)
Global Warming: It's all a part of God's plan (34:8-10)
The Dragons of God (34:13-14)

Slate Blogs the Bible by David Plotz
Is the Book of Isaiah Supposed To Be Funny?